1603468 Then I succeeded in making a good villain!
1598928 I had an idea for multilingual when I first saw Dressed for Success. How Fluttershy pronounced the french words was flawless, so it just popped into my head.
1606708 He will, don't worry. :D And yeah, I tagged him and the mane six, they'll all show up soon. I'm thinkin' about three more chapters before they come along.
I would love to see someone step up and tear Smack Down to pieces. there's no way he should be able to get away with what he's doing. Colorstrike and Fine Service are both witnesses.
Oh i ment to post this in an other chapter but the part with the fan you put "we" insted of "he" when fallenfether was explaining to colorstrike what happened to her back.
Good chapter, but that flashback was poorly placed. It was short to the point that it relayed no useful information, and it happened at a bizarre spot in the story. Why is it relevant how Colorstrike and Fallenfeather met at that point? It would have been better served in the chapter where Colorstrike was first introduced, and could be boiled down to "the two mares had met in high school". It almost feels like it was started and then forgotten when the chapter was posted.
1603468 Then I succeeded in making a good villain!
1598928 I had an idea for multilingual when I first saw Dressed for Success. How Fluttershy pronounced the french words was flawless, so it just popped into my head.
Aw man, I was hoping Smack Down was going to get what he deserved..
As for POV, maybe try Strike, or a mix of Strike and Shy? And then the next possibly Fallenfeather's? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
I do have a question, did you just tag Spike as a future character?
1606708 He will, don't worry. :D And yeah, I tagged him and the mane six, they'll all show up soon. I'm thinkin' about three more chapters before they come along.
1607634
Awesome! Just don't rush it!
Smack Down needs a beat down... Pun intended..
1607676 *Smack Down. :D Beat Down fits too though.
1607708
I just slapped myself.... Sorry...
Have all my Fluttershy's..
Fluttershy is best pony.
1607742
Luna is!
Though Fluttershy definitely is the cutest of the Mane 6..
It's not short it's about as long as your other chapters
I would love to see someone step up and tear Smack Down to pieces. there's no way he should be able to get away with what he's doing. Colorstrike and Fine Service are both witnesses.
I do not like where this is headed
Oh i ment to post this in an other chapter but the part with the fan you put "we" insted of "he" when fallenfether was explaining to colorstrike what happened to her back.
1607742 true that :Fluttershy:
Good chapter, but that flashback was poorly placed. It was short to the point that it relayed no useful information, and it happened at a bizarre spot in the story. Why is it relevant how Colorstrike and Fallenfeather met at that point? It would have been better served in the chapter where Colorstrike was first introduced, and could be boiled down to "the two mares had met in high school".
It almost feels like it was started and then forgotten when the chapter was posted.