Two weeks. That was all the time that had passed. In that fortnight, Twilight Sparkle had been consumed by evil, locked away the two rulers of Equestria, and left Equestria in a darkness so black that nopony can see a hoof in front of their face. Celestia can feel her sanity slipping away as she lies helpless in her prison.
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Nice to see some good ole fashioned despair coming on this site.
This could be made into a whole series! It's the perfect idea for a story! Good job! :)
Good, Depressing, sad story. We could use a few of those on here. Nicely done.
2466814 If you want despair, read Twilight's Big Day. Now THAT'S despair! Also great story, the atmosphere sent chills up my spine... That's good. It's uhh... it's a good thing, well done.
Alright, you asked for some feedback, and besides this being really good, there is something about it that bothers me. Maybe it's the fact that there needs to be more about what the fuck happened (oh yeah I don't censor myself by the way). I get that due to learning Sombra's magic Twilight is evil now, but I would be interested in the actual transformation of turning from good to evil. I want to see if you can explain that in a way that makes sense and would be believable as compared to canon. As of now she is very OCC and it makes this story very confusing to me at least. Besides that little hiccup, I don't really see any other major problems with this story. A great start if you are setting up for that. I real hook on a story that deserves more people to look at it. I guess that's why you posted it on Reddit. Well, I tend to promote stories that impress me, so this is no exception.
If you need any help, feel free to message me on here. I like helping people out, and giving honest opinions at the very least. Also, sorry to see you wrote ten stories without any real recognition. Just hope it picks up for you and I will share my followers as I much as they will listen.
Just in case you didn't read earlier on Reddit, and this is when I noticed it, the featured box doesn't accept stories with less than four thousand words. I've been kind of spreading the word just to let authors and writers know. Good luck! /)
Final Verdict: May the world of ponies fall in darkness, and a hero be born from the unseen ashes.
2734368 Ah, gotcha! I can see that, but I just wanted this to be a bit of "let your imagination roam" kind of thing. I can see where you're coming from, though. Thanks for the feedback!
2735930 No problem man, I'll just think up of how she came evil... maybe Celestia was just really bad in the sack...