Celestia's Mourning

by fallen starr

Celestia's Mourning

Celestia sat in front of the stone. She had sent her guards away; no one would bother her. She had cast away her regal form. Pink had replaced her aurora colored mane and it no longer blew in a non-existent wind.

Her eyes wandered from the stone to the grass in front of it, but she didn't really see it. Were anypony watching, it would almost seem that Celestia was seeing through the ground. The princesses shoulders rose and fell as she sighed.

She had already been there for hours. She simply could not bring herself to leave. How could she leave this pony. This pony that meant so much to her, more than the pony ever could have known.

Tears hit the ground as she realized she had never told the pony exactly how much she cared for her. "Twilight," she whispered, her hoof touching the gravestone. "I love you."

She could not imagine what the purple mare would say. She had never been brave enough to say those words to her while she was alive. Seventy years. She had been granted seventy years to tell her, but she had not.

She knew the feeling that filled the pit of her stomach. Regret. She had felt it when she sent her sister to the moon, and she felt it now. She had been foolish. Twilight would not have looked at her differently.

"My faithful student." The words were followed with another sigh. "You were so much more. You meant so much to me. It was almost as if you were my daughter." She clenched her mouth closed, unable to say anything else. She squeezed her eyes shut, and lowered her head, touching it to the stone.

Celestia knew this day would come. It always came. Every time she grew close to a pony, they would die. It was the blessing of mortality. It was why she often did not have personal students. She knew she would grow to love them before they left her forever.

Night had fallen in the time she had sat at the grave. Thoughts of the times she had with Twilight flashed through her mind as she fully let her emotions overtake her. Her body shook with sobs. She laid down, pressing her face to the ground. She didn't care that her white coat was dirty or that she was acting unbecoming of royalty.

After a few moments, she started to gain control herself again. Her breath came out in great heaves as she struggled to calm down. "Twilight Sparkle, the greatest of my students. You were special. It may have been because I watched you grow up. I raised you in a way. You were like my own daughter."

Celestia leaned in to kiss the name engraved on the stone. "Goodnight, little princess."

A small, sad smile graced her lips as she thought of the first time she had said that.

The purple filly was old enough to put herself to bed, but the first night in the castle would probably be the worst. She would miss her parents and brother and want to return to them. It had been an interesting summer as Celestia got to know her new student. Cadance had been foalsitting Twilight for the Sparkles, so the filly was frolicking around the castle all summer.

Now it was fall, and time for her lessons to begin. She paused outside the door and listened in. The sound of sniffles reached her ears. Her heart went out to the small girl. She knocked on the door and slowly pushed it open. A small squeak and a suddenly silent filly greeted her. Twilight was covered head to hoof on the bed.

"Twilight?" Celestia ventured into her students room. "Are you asleep, my little pony?"

"No," the filly said, pulling down the blanket.

"I wonder if I told you a story, would you feel better?"

Twilight shrugged. "Maybe a little?"

Celestia smiled. "Once upon a time, there was a little unicorn filly. She was very smart and very good at magic. She was so good at magic that it was her special talent."

"Oh, like me. My special talent is magic!"

"Yes, very much like you. This little filly was so good at magic, and so very nice to everypony, that the Princess of the land decided she would teach this filly."

Twilight listened with rapt attention. Her ears were straight up, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open slightly. "The filly was sad and crying one night, because she missed her mother and father very much. The Princess, knowing this, told the filly a secret. If she studied hard and did her very best, she would be a princess too. And so the filly studied and studied and studied. She did her very best, because she remembered the secret her Princess had told her. And when she was finished with school, do you know what happened?"

The filly shook her head rapidly.

"She became a princess."

"Wow," Twilight said. "Princess, is the filly me? Is she? Can I be a princess?"

Celestia smiled. "No, I'm afraid I cannot make you a princess. But that doesn't matter, because you are a very special filly. You can be my princess"

Twilight smiled and snuggled into her bed. "Goodnight, Princess," she said sleepily.

"Goodnight, little princess."

Celestia stood, her composure regained. "You were my daughter, Twilight Sparkle. I will always love you."

She placed a golden crown on the grave before walking away a few steps. Taking one last look back, she read the headstone.

Twilight Sparkle
987PR-63LR
Friendship is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

Celestia smiled. The quote really summed Twilight up. She had valued knowledge and learning to the end, but friendship had been held in a much higher regard. Her friends meant everything to Twilight. Twilight meant everything to Celestia.

"I will miss you, little princess."

---

A/N: Quote by Muhammad Ali

Comments

[CanterlotGuardian]

Wow. That was... beautiful. Very nice.

[Lumadous]

oh...dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_sad.png

[King Sombrony]

right in the feels

[Fallen Knight]

This is quiet nice, really touching.

[Portmeirion]

I really liked this. It's short, but heartbreakingly sweet and touching, and beautifully sad. Wonderful work!

[Grey the Mighty]

Hnnnnnnnnnng -snap- that was the sound of my heart breaking.

[Cobalt Swirls]

"She became a princess."

"Wow," Twilight said. "Princess, is the filly me? Is she? Can I be a princess?"

Celestia smiled. "No,

[brickguy213]

Everything I thought it would be. Great job man. Excellent story.

[Diamond Sparkle]

Poor Celestia.It must be sad to see everyone you know and love die.

[SoulValkyrie]

You hear that my friends? That's the sound of my feels being obliterated and crushed into oblivion.

[JeanineWilder]

Here. Have them. All my feels.

[RickyB]

so sad. Cute read though.

[The Prime Evil]

My feelings this is sad but at the same time heartbreakingly sweet

[LoneWolf]

It is so sad and beautiful, good job

[arandompenguin]

First Impressions Review
Based on the entire fic because it is fairly short.

Starting with the image, it is nice and fairly generic, a good choice for a small one-shot such as this.
In regard to your description, it is short and to the point, which is a positive when you're trying to write something like this (also, thanks for adding in that it is not a ship-fic, or many a reader would have been mislead by the description) and I could tell before even reading the story that it would be a very emotive piece.

Now onto the actual story. Usually when you start by seeting the scene like you do, you should aim to put in a nice description of the surrounding area, especially if the entire story is going to take place there. I would recommend tying the description into the emotion you are trying to convey, especially the weather, whether it be through pathetic fallacy or contrast. If you are going for the pathetic fallacy you could try and write something that ties in with sadness, which in terms of wear is usually associated with an overcast day with cool air. On the flip side, you could go with a contrast have the weather antonomous with the emotions, so you may have a bright, sunny day. If you go for contrast it would be recommended to link it to the emotions with a sentence or so like 'The bright sun was at odds with the prevailing mood that hung in the air' or something to that effect.

In terms of character dialogue and development, I think you did a great job. While nothing where Celestia is sad can ever really be a canon-esque description of her, I believe youve managed to capture her essence perfectly. That sort of benevolent feel with a hint of hidden emotion beneath it that keeps her seem like a real character and not just a robot.

In terms of spelling and grammar, you seemed mostly spot on. There were a few mistakes here and there, such as 'princesses' when it should be 'princess' '. Though overall it was pretty decent.

So overall, this piece was very emotive and you have great character development. Perhaps a bit more on the imagery front but nothing really major. I believe this fic has a great first impression and I've given it a like. (N.B. Sorry this is so short, I'm writing this on my iPod and it takes ages to type anything, also, I'll review the other one tomorrow, I'm kinda beat at the moment.

Dan - First Impressions Reviewer

[Kishin]

Short and sweet.

I like it!

[Transivity]

I felt like the feels grabbed a baseball bat and wacked me in the face.

[TheGreatEater]

Awwwww!

[Princess Glitzy]

I laughed when she said that she won't be a princess because she actually did become a princess.

[Dazzleme]

The feels

[Muffins123]

wow

[develdragon13]

I am not a big fan of one-shots or sad fics but this is just beautiful

[MustacheMerlin]

You know what would be horrible? If Twilight was a mortal alicorn. Celestia would let her guard down, thinking that Twilight wouldn't leave her like everyone else, and then BAM! One day, this happens. That is literally the worst possible thing I can think of to happen to Celestia. Either way, this situation sucks for someone. If Twilight is immortal she has to watch her friends die. If she isn't, Celestia has to watch her die.

[MustacheMerlin]

6300523 Well that's the thing. I'm saying it would be horrible if she didn't know Twilight would pass on.