A combined task force is sent to the location of a thought to be SCP of unkown powers. As they are the first to reasearch it they notice some strange things about it like what it is made of, the strange jewel that hangs above it, and the strange horse statues around it. It is just another day working for the Foundation, right?
It had to be done. A SCP Foundation and MLP:FiM crossover. I suggest keeping this site handy for refrences http://www.scp-wiki.net/ and i do not own SCP Foundation wiki or MLP:Fim
InfoNote: SCP 1946 has officially been taken- Dinner Mimics , I do suggest giving it a read. As usual it is very well done.
On Hiatus until further notice. Story will be taken back up in due time.
Great fic... Problem is it's overwhelming to read to to WALLS OF TEXT
It'll be easier if you make a new paragraph each time someone speaks..
Now:
As the team approached the cave they noticed that the area around the cave seemed off. It looked as if the reality itself was being warped as they got closer to the cave. “I am really beginning to wonder why command decided to take away the class ds’ right before we left” questioned Nu-1-7, “Magnet”. “The only thing you should be wondering is how prepared you are for this” yelled Nu-1-1, “Pulse”, through the com system imbedded his helmet. As the Humvees closed the last few clicks all the long range com systems started to fail. “Zeta-9 lead do you read” asked Pulse through the short range com system. “Aye Nu-1 lead. Though it seems our radio with command has gone out.” Replied Zeta-9-1 “Trench” as he checked all channels on the long range radio. “Well this does fit the description of some of the activities that have been said to go on here.”
With edits
As the team approached the cave they noticed that the area around the cave seemed off. It looked as if the reality itself was being warped as they got closer to the cave.
“I am really beginning to wonder why command decided to take away the class Ds’ right before we left” questioned Nu-1-7, “Magnet”.
“The only thing you should be wondering is how prepared you are for this” yelled Nu-1-1, “Pulse”, through the com system imbedded his helmet. As the Humvees closed the last few clicks all the long range com systems started to fail.
“Zeta-9 lead do you read” asked Pulse through the short range com system.
“Aye Nu-1 lead. Though it seems our radio with command has gone out.” Replied Zeta-9-1 “Trench” as he checked all channels on the long range radio.
“Well this does fit the description of some of the activities that have been said to go on here.”
-----------------
Just makes things look nicer. I look forward to more chapters.
I agree with the first comment. It's pretty hard to read if you cram the dialogues into the paragraphs.
"It is just another day working for the Foundation, right?"
A trans-dimensional portal that leads to the world of My Little Pony?
Yeah that's just another day at the office for the Foundation. They've got waaaaaaaaay crazier shit hanging around.
There is actually an OFFICIAL rule on the guidelines that forbids ponies, in any manner of media or appearance, to be related to any documents regarding or respective of the SCP foundation.
God rest your soul.
1552693 Thanks for pointing that out. This is my first fic and I am used to a little differnt writing style. I will fix it at once
1552818 Really? Where's that 'OFFICIAL' rule found?
1552846 on the website, google is your friend.
Although, it may just be for official documents. I was just noting it if anything.
The fic is very good btw.
Great fic, wonder what the task force will do in Equestria.
As far as the no ponies rule on SCP, the closest things I could find is this little page. So you probably don't need to worry about it.
This is a great premise. I'd love to see a well-done crossover with the SCP because there is just such a potential for disaster in the resulting clash of ideologies. It's very good for a first fic, though I do have some suggestions. Spacing out the dialogue will help a lot in terms of readability. And the writing is clunky in some areas. It feels like you are rushing the story to get to the "good stuff" and skipping some description and interaction. For example, you throw 16 new character names at us pretty much all at once. There is no description of the cave other than it seems "off" (off how?) until they get to the main room, and then it is very confusing. “the arch seems too made out of some kind of obsidian and the jewel appears to be some kind of jewel mixed with what appears to be a philosopher’s stone type jewel. I don’t quite know what jewel it is mixed with” - ? There are a few grammar issues. "Feint" is to make a misdirecting move, while "faint" refers to something hard to see. The military term "klick" is spelled with a k even though it is pronounced "click" because it is slang for "kilometer." Finding a beta reader would do wonders. I really hope that wasn't too harsh. I want to be encouraging, because I'd love to read the continuation of this!
1552859
I looked, but didn't find anything. The only thing I found was an article related to MLP, so I guess this rule isn't really enforced.
Mind posting a link to the rule?
1553062 Very good points that both me and my pre-reader missed. I am trying to get used to writing fics and any help or critiques would be helpful. Thank you for pointing all that out, I will see if i can fix it and make sure it doesnt happen in future chapters
1553081 He may be referring to this line from the FAQ on the SCP site:
I didn't know about that, and I even have an SCP fic going. Either way, since we aren't making money off of our stories... I think that the author should be OK, and since he isn't claiming it to be his own universe.
1553156 yep, that's the one. Thanks.
If you think this isn't directly related to ponies, there is a notice for signing up which states
"PS - no ponies."
1553176 Ah yes, you are right. Never actually joined the site, so it may just be for the site itself, since there IS an SCP story regarding ponies on there floating around.
As an actual(albeit lowly) member of the SCP Wiki, I'd like to point out that any SCP with a designation below 100 is designated as "SCP-0XX", "SCP-00X", etcetera. Also, the story itself is quite eh. Some grammatical flops here and there, and the conversations feel rather dreary.
This story has potential, but I'd like to see it improved. No vote for now.
1553190 Links?
1566254 this is what I was referring to. LINK
The [REDACTED] shtick gets a [REDACTED] little annoying when you [REDACTED] keep [REDACTED] the damn [REDACTED]. Is there a way to black out sections like on the SCP [REDACTED] Wiki? At the very least, just say Classified and stop giving us only a [REDACTED] couple of [REDACTED] letters/words between [SUPER-REDACTED].
Faint, not feint. Lightheaded versus false advance.
This is one hell of a punctuation apocalypse. There are more symbols than just periods, you know!
Seriously? "Noticing reality warp as they got closer?" That seems like a generic and overly noticeable side-effect, especially if they haven't reached the site yet. What kind of reality bending? Strange colors in the air? Gravity changing? Chocolate rain?
"Can I put punctuation into a quote if the sentence isn't over yet?" asked Pinkie Pie.
"Yes, you can," answered Twilight. She was growing tired of providing dialogue examples and dialogue example accessories.
"Oh! Sweet. Thanks, Twily!"
"Don't mention it," groaned Twilight. "Seriously, just shut up."
If the man's arms have been severed, what is he holding them with? "His arms folded across his chest," you mean? The rest of this should be split into multiple sentences, preferably describing each statue individually and in more detail.
God dammit Hole, you broke science. Find real science-y terms. What type of jewel is a "philosopher's stone-type" jewel? (It's probably an SCP if you look hard enough.) Just admit you have no idea what it is.
What is this I don't even [MEGA-REDACTED]
1579069 I see your points. I origanlly had all the [Redacted] blacked out but it seems that FimFiction doesnt support that so my pre-reader suggested using [Redacted] instead. I won't really be using that format for later chapters and I hope I can find a way to make it blacked out.
I was never good with punctations and my pre-reader is more of a plot checker and overall checker. I am still looking for more of a true grammar checker to help me out with those kind of problems. And I tend to forget to add details every so often, but I am fixing that fact with help.
I didn't notice the statue problem, I will try my best to make sure it does not happen again.
Hole is not exactly a researcher, he is more of a security type role. It will be more appearent in later chapters.
And that line is what fit according to my pre-reader
I am still learning how to write in this style and criticism is appreciated, no matter how it is put
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/27335446.jpg
Nice chapter. I like the story so far. Although the pace seems break neck, you somehow manage to pull it off.
You wouldn't happen to have a pre-reader would you? (If you don't you should consider getting one, it helped my work out drastically... might improve yours too.)
Minecraft? I facepalmed.
Then I kept reading, I loves me some SCP.
My only other kicker was that Pinkie seems oddly...verbose?
Otherwise good work.
Pffft~ Needs more me.
1614296 Trust me, you wil be in it and it will not be a small role
1616838 I love you now.
Oh, no... not 087!
All hail SCP_173 he is ready for murder. wait no, kill it, atrrrgggg Gogh uh cfgcgvg°c v. Vvv? CCTV CV bvvv VB bbvv. (user has lost life signs)
When typing computer shit, I recommend something like this:
Overseer clearance required
Please enter key pin:
>>*********
Overseer “Havoc” verified. Accessing command database.
Please enter command:
>>systems/coms/operationnewbloom/establish
Processing...
...
...
Failure to connect: Target not found.
>>lastknown
Enroute to target location “Ten-Whiskey-Trot”
>>establish/expermentalsoftware/SCPorgin/185/exe
Connection found.
Linking to com.
...
...
Omega8
This gives an air of cold mechanics that the Foundation is known for. Plus, seeing it clumped together like that is a little tough to read.
(Enlists in MTF)...What? Dun judge meee
Due to writers block, distractions, and class/work this story has to be put on a small hold for a week or two until I can get it back on track. It shall be countinued as soon as I can work the next part out.
Sorry for any inconvience this may cause
Sorry to ask of this, but could someone please do some cover art for this story? I have zero artistic abilities and my ring of friends somehow do not include an artist. If you are interested than please send me a message
Good news; next chapter should be done and up by the weekend, a new story is on the way, and there will be a pretty big scene in the next chapter. The wait shall be worth it
So if I update....Everyone else updates....
Works for me!
Ruh roh, SCP-137-O!
(The O stands for obsidian by the way)
1907277 Wait, 137 or 173..... one is a toy and the other is a instant kill statue.....If we do not get this right than many may die. Than again, this might make for a little bit of chaos. What does this all mean.... Insanity
Crap, I mis-typed the numbers. Stupid iPhone 5 touchscreen keypad...
1907398 Understandable, though that little mistype might have given me a few ideas....
I'm so helpful!
Why isn't this scotch taped into Project Crossover? Did I miss something?
1915435 Project Crossover? I might be the one missing something here comrade
1916078 Hidden in the depths of the deepest dropdown menus lies Project Crossover, home of 'Terrible crossover fanfiction.' as they put it.
1916198 I see. So it is hidden deep within this site, sounds like an adventure
goodness, nearly a month! oh well, you cant rush creativity or awesomeness! keep going!
2175669 In all honesty, it is mainly my work/school that is creating delays. It is getting much tougher so I need more time to study. I will try to make sure it doesn't take as long next time
2175686
I know how you feel, man. I still haven't finished the prologue of Veil: A Changeling's Story because of school, and my friends pestering me to play every which way in games.
2176429 I think school is a problem for many right now, more so because of the fact summer is coming. My school is a tad bit differnt than what most others would have to go through though, but at least you should have a spring break coming up in a month or two. That should give you a chance to do some catch up. I wish you luck in your story.
2176547
Meh. My school's February vacation just started(Ironically after my best friend's, who lives in a different state, ends) and no one will bother me during school hours.
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5155738112/hD4DEEB76/
Thats it?
THATS IT?!
Come on man!
2247324 Sorry, but I love cliffhangers and I also have been busy and distracted latley