• Member Since 14th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen April 26th

CharlieOist


T

Princess Luna's first birthday since she returned from the moon. It's the talk of Equestria, and preparations are well under way. But when a strange unicorn appears and quickly becomes the alicorn's favorite musician, Princess Celestia sets out to find the truth behind the mysterious pony. Will she like what finds? Or will her discoveries put the fate of Equestria in danger once more?

Twilight, meanwhile, has never had a drink before in her life. She knows the stories of what has happened to ponies who bite off more than they can chew,and has always been careful to avoid drinking altogether. So, when Princess Celestia invites her to Luna's birthday, where drinking will be a requirement to meet the social standard, Twilight, understandably, bites off more than she can chew. When she wakes up the next morning beside a strange mare, she gets scared. Will Princess Celestia understand? Worse...Will her friends?


Takes place just after Season 2.


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Chapters (19)
Comments ( 46 )

A good start to a (hopefully) great story. A few minor mistakes but I only noticed because I'm an editor and I look out for these things. I can tell just by reading the chapter that I can tell the story has a good plot and (just an assumption) I think I can tell who the romance will be between.

Ps I just have to write this. FIRST!

1499888 Thanks, man! I enjoy writing fanfics. I have a few on other sites, but I only recently found this one. I also only recently found the series(Thank goodness for early morning boredom, or I might never has become interested!) I'm still kinda new to writing this type of fanfiction, however, so... Please forgive me if the story takes a turn for the worse... And any advice you can offer me, I'd be happy to hear it!

1500142
Yeah, compared to most, I'm pretty new on this site. A good pointer for a story would be that you should write to your advantage, write things your good at not what your not, for that will be easyer for you to write detailed paragraphs in your story unlike if you try to write about something you can't write about eg if your good at romance and not comedy write romance, not comedy. Also try and make it a bit longer because the members of this site like long stories. Hope those helped in some way or another.

Longer than it already is?! Oh no...I may hae to rethink this whole venture! Rofl. It was a lot of work writing that. I've never been much of a piano player, but I wrote a story on one once and it seemed to go over well, so... Thanks for the advice!

EDIT: I just thought I'd mention this, but I'll be trying to update about every other week, sooner if I can. If I can't get one out, or if there will be a delay, I'll do my best to keep everyone informed.

Love it so far, I hope to read more like it.

Comment posted by CharlieOist deleted Dec 7th, 2013

Well, here it is!
Ain't I a wiz?
Chapter two
Has come to you!:pinkiehappy:

Well, unfortunatly, here it is: I've got to put this story on hiatus. I've run out of ideas and no longer have time to just sit down and have a think tank with myself (Strange way of putting it, but...)

So...If you have any suggestions, please, feel free to voice them. I'll also accept applications for co-writers and editors. if you're willing to stick with something that could very well take a year to finish, more or less.

So...Sorry everybody! I really am. But, hey,"I'll be back:"

Alright, everypony, I should begin posting again soon. Don't worry.

Comment posted by CharlieOist deleted Mar 29th, 2013
Comment posted by CharlieOist deleted Mar 30th, 2013

Okay, so first thing, in chapter 1 you said he had a dark red coat and black mane and tail. Here you said he had a black coat. And you randomly changed his name to Nightsong out of nowhere. :facehoof:

I sure hope they have their elements :twilightoops:

Shadow pets! That reminds me of Surprise's shadow mice from Griffin the Griffin.

HUZZAH! The story lives! :yay::yay::yay:

I have followed this tale since before I got an account on here. I look forward to future updates.

Second story I've seen this, why a mare?

3542682 Why not? Is there anything to indicate that any of them prefer one gender over another?

3543233 Ponies don't choose same gender in real life. Why should they in fantasy?

3544003 Because in real life, most ponies aren't sentient beings with much free choice. And ,of course, there's always the 'human factor' as I've taken to calling it. If your a farmer, which would you choose? The breedable ponies or the ones that were acting weird and refused to breed with stallions? Many farmers would simply have ponies like that put down.

3544294 Thanks for the feedback, though. Most of the time, people don't take the time to comment or give feedback or even discuss the flaws in the story. It's appreciated.

rarity has been bitten.... THIS...IS..THE....WORST.....THING EVER!!!!! :raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritycry::raritydespair::fluttercry::raritydespair::raritycry::raritycry:

I'm liking the story, but you may want to invest in some scene breaks. It can be slightly confusing trying to figure out exactly when the story switches perspectives.

3544384 I was mostly completely disliking your romance choice... :twilightblush:

Good day.

As you say a bit short. But so much character development. The reader has learnt so much about this unicorn, but still remains unsure if they are really good or not. :rainbowhuh:
Also, why did Rarity have to get bitten? I know she does play the damsel in distress quite well, but she's already had to put up with being taken over by the Nightmare. Just a thought. :duck:

What the hell? I can't get over the freaking NEW STORY after chapter 2. Un-favourite.
Sorry. Will still read it and re-favourite it if the awesome returns.

Insert obligatory The Phantom of the Opera reference here.

Aaaaand ya lost me. I was willing to overlook the fact that you actually called the Mane 6 by that name in the narrative, I was willing to overlook Rarity somehow threatening give up the Element of Generosity and move to Canterlot, despite how wildly out of character that is, I was even willing to overlook the fact that, in this very chapter, a minor--yet critical--error was pointed out 33 weeks ago and still remains unfixed.

And then you threw AJ out of character as well for no discernible reason at all. She wouldn't insult Twilight's love of reading like that, not even by implication. She might not understand it, and she certainly wouldn't think books are more important than hard work and experience, but she very obviously sees how much work Twilight puts into her studies and would never think of her friend as being "lazy" simply for having a different set of priorities. And even if you did find a way to make that belief logical, AJ would have said it. She might have been diplomatic about it, but she's not the Element of Honesty for nothing. Blunt honesty and stubbornness are two of her most obvious and defining character traits.

3544384 One little thing. What's with the name change of the main character. It's starts with a human name (Sean P O'Farrel), then suddenly, without explanation, becomes a pony name (Nightsong Redtail). Please explain or correct this.

I liked the first story first.
And it seems to be 2 completely different stories. I'm probably gonna stop reading.
P.S. I couldn't get past chapter 8.
This is NOT the story I fell in love with.

Hey, guys. People have been asking me about the sudden name change right in the middle of the story. That is a part of the story. It going to get explained later. As for the change in the story, I needed to develope some things, such as Nightsong's character.

Edit: As I read over that part of the story, I realize I may have left out some dialogue... XD

This story is a jewel! How does it not have multiple hundred likes?:applejackconfused::pinkiehappy::raritywink:

What pinkie has full control of her mane and can make it straight at will, but prefers it poofy? If so, she should make it straight for the party since she's going to be a violinist. She will be happy, but with a straight-as-if-she's-sad-but-she's-really-happy mane. Classy pinkie pie~!:pinkiehappy::raritystarry::heart:

It lives! I need to re-read to catch up on this story heh.

Dividing it up into acts is a good way to separate arcs, but for the moment, I would view it all as one large act. glad to see your back at it again. I notice one of the guards in Luna's flashback was called Redtail. A relative of Nightsong? Keep up the good work.

I saw the title, now all I can think of is Phantom of the Opera :moustache:

Well, I thought my fic made the feature box for a moment....

I say... if this unicorns name is Erik or something similarly ponified, I will land my TARDIS in your living room.

Read, fav'd, will be keeping tabs on.

Not a bad chapter. Felt a bit quick, but I enjoyed it. Really can't wait for the back-story on Nightsong.

The introduction of a pre-Season 3 Discord seems unnecessary, unless it's another defence of the castle. Otherwise, good chapter. I hope we will get some more of Nightsong's backstory in later chapters.

4419324 You're right. I can't justify bringing him into the story now. I sort of panicked when I got the final word count on this story, and threw that in there. I'll get rid of it immediately.

As for the back story, I have it, though I am debating where to put it in the story. I have been dropping hints to our little unicorn friend's history, though!

4523769 Don't worry too much about chapter length, focus on quality. A good chapter of only 1500 words is way better than a bad chapter of 3000. Best thing to do is think where you want the story to end up and move toward that.

Good chapter, glad to see this is still ticking over. Interesting, albeit frightening idea that there are various 'avatars' of Discord too. As a Lunar zealot though, I look forward to the eventual exploration of the Temple of the New Moon.

MOAR! :flutterrage:

Also, did you notice that the add on this page is for The Walking Dead? :trollestia:

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