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Pinkamena2,242 words

Pinkamena

Oct. 15.

Dear Diary,

I learned a lot of neat stuff today. Remember the weird lump that appeared on my chest a couple weeks ago? The clinic got my x-rays back, and they said I had something called a "vestigial twin." I was supposed to have a conjoined twin, (they said) but I absorbed the other one, and now there's a bunch of leftovers inside me. That lump is a piece of 'em starting to stick out for some reason.

Doc said it didn't look dangerous, but they could try and cut it out anyway, if I wanted. Of course, I told him no way, 'cause now I'll never be alone.

He looked at me kind of funny and said maybe he wasn't the kind of doctor I needed. What a kidder.

I think I'll call her "Pinkamena". I know that's my name, but she was right there when my folks gave me it, so it's kinda hers too. And I'm not using it anyway, except on paperwork 'n' stuff.

Doc gave me a copy of the specialist's report, which had a lot more cool info in it. I think I'll paste it in my scrap book.

Anyhoo, I have tomorrow morning off work, but I gotta be up bright and early to go help Fluttershy with her bunnies, so I'll say goodnight now.

G'night, Diary! Oh, and g'night, Pinkamena!

Love,
Pinkie

* * *

Oct. 16.

Dear Diary,

Today, I saw something really sad. I was helping out on Fluttershy's homestead, and one of her bunnies started giving birth. All the babies came out fine, except this little one with a screwy face. He was breathing pretty hard, so Fluttershy put him in this little case with oxygen tanks and hoses and stuff attached. But in a couple minutes, he just stopped breathing all of a sudden.

I helped Fluttershy dig a little grave under a maple. After we covered him up, she said he's gone somewhere better. That made me think of something. I asked her, if you can see when a soul leaves a body, just when does it get in there in the first place? She said she didn't know.

This afternoon, when I was on my mid-shift break, Mr. Cake took me aside and said I should wear an apron to cover the part where Pinkamena sticks through my chest, 'cause he noticed some customers staring at it. I guess it has gotten a little bigger since it showed up. I think it's funny—some ponies are just so squeamish! Pinkamena's not really gross, though. It's not like there's pus or blood or a face sticking out or something. But you know how some ponies are: if I try and tell 'em that, they'll think she's even grosser. Oh well.

See you tomorrow.

Love,
Pinkie

* * *

Oct. 18.

Boy, am I in a bad mood today.

I was hanging out with Rainbow, and she asked to see the part where Pinkamena sticks out. I said sure. Rainbow poked and prodded at it a bit, and kinda stirred the hair, trying to get a good look. But it was kinda hard, 'cause she was tickling me. (That's my hide, not Pinkamena's!)

Rainbow asked what the little stickey-outey-jaggey parts were. I think the Doc said they were bones or teeth or something. Rainbow said that's gross. I told her to apologize, 'cause that's my sister she's talking about. I mean, duh. And would you believe it? Rainbow wrinkled her snout and reared up and said it didn't matter, 'cause Pinkamena was dead.

Well, I got pretty mad and told her just what the specialist's report said: Pinkamena's not very big, and she doesn't even have all the right parts, but we share the ones she doesn't have, and the ones she does have kinda-sorta work. We share the same blood too. Rainbow apologized, but it was to me, and that's just not as good. I made her apologize to Pinkamena before I let her leave. It didn't sound like a for-reals apology, though. And she flew off in a big hurry right after.

So I went and talked to Twilight, 'cause I remembered she was right about Zecora and Luna and ponies like that. (You'd think certain ponies would learn from those times.) And you know what the worst part is? Twilight didn't understand either! She looked at me funny and asked if I knew Pinkamena doesn't have a brain. (How could she know a thing like that?) So I ran and got my scrap book, so she could see what else the report said: there's some brain-y stuff and spine-y stuff that's kind of snug up against my backbone.

Well, Twilight stared at those pages, and then she sat back on her haunches, and her face turned some pretty weird colors. I can understand the red from embarrassment at being so wrong, but what was with the white? It's not like there was anything to be scared of. I mean, she wasn't scared of Pinkamena when she didn't know she was there. Anyway, she got real quiet after that.

So I've been mad since then, but now I'm just kinda disappointed. I never thought Pinkamena wouldn't fit in. I know she's different, but I fit in, and she's in the same place, so why...?

Well, maybe things will look brighter in the morning.

Pinkie

* * *

Oct. 21.

Dear Diary,

This is a red-letter weekend! The Cakes and the foals are away, so we're gonna find out if I can run the Corner for a full two days. Day one has been okay, but I'm gonna have to get up extra-early tomorrow for the chores I couldn't get to on my own. (Gotta remember the trash, the floor, the windows, and the rest of today's dishes.)

It was pretty quiet this morning, but I wasn't bored. When nopony was in the shop, I just talked to Pinkamena. The thing about a friend who doesn't have a mouth is, she's a good listener. There's different kinds of friends: good for talking to, good for listening to, and good for back-and-forth. Too bad Pinkamena can only do one of those things.

Boy, I sure have been writing about my new (or, sorta-new-but-not really) sister a lot lately. But I guess that makes sense, since we have so much to catch up on.

~~A funny thing happened this afternoon. Roseluck came in and~~

Never mind. Eyes don't wanna stay open. See you tomorrow!

* * *

Oct. 22.

Dear Diary,

Well, this sure has been a weird day. My alarm didn't go off, and I woke up just in time to open the shop. I thought I was gonna be really behind today, but I looked around, and all those chores I mentioned last night were done. And then I noticed this dirt on my hooves—same color as the dirt on the path to the dumpster. There was some in my bed, too.

We're talking hard-left-turn-into-weirdsville here. I haven't sleepwalked since I was a filly, and I sure never did chores in my sleep. Should I talk to somepony about this? Maybe I'll just wait and see what happens. Nothing bad's happened so far, and hey, maybe I'll do all the boring chores in my sleep from now on.

(Aw, rats—I meant to write down the funny thing that happened with Roseluck yesterday, and now I forget it!)

Anyhow, the rest of today went fine, and tomorrow will be easier 'cause I'm just working in the kitchen. G'night!

Love,
Pinkie

* * *

Oct. 23.

I don't worry often, but I am really, really, really worried right now.

I woke up in the early afternoon today, and I was standing in the kitchen in my apron, and there was flour everywhere, and I had a whisk in my teeth, and Mr. Cake was yelling at me. Mr. Cake never yells. But now, he was so mad, his face had gone right past normal red and turned full-on crimson, and he was almost foaming at the mouth, which would have been funny if... actually, there's no way this would ever be funny. And that means a lot, coming from me.

When I apologized and asked him what was wrong, his jaw dropped and he just stared for a couple seconds, like he couldn't believe his ears. And I guess he really couldn't, because he asked where my head had been for the last ten minutes. I didn't remember anything, and told him so.

Now it was my turn to not believe my ears. He told me he had come into the shop late, and found me in the kitchen, moving around spastically, making a huge mess of things, like I was trying to bake but had no idea how. When he told me to stop, (he said) I told him to do something nasty, and kind of physically impossible. That's when he started tearing strips off me.

So I asked him (innocently!) if he had ever known me to say things like that. Big mistake. He actually snorted and kicked at the floor, and for a second there, I thought he was going to slug me. But he just told me to get out of his sight.

I've been locked in my room a few hours, and I'm kind of numb now. (That's another thing I haven't felt in a long time.) I always laugh at irrational fears, but ~~I don't know what~~ something really freaky is going on here. I think I'll turn in early. Crying really tires you out.

First thing tomorrow, I'm gonna go to the Doctor again.

* * *

im scared
chest hurts. belly feels all wrong. legs doing things on their own. can only sometimes move them
i dont know whats happening
trying to call for help. throat wont work

pinkie

i KNOW yOu an read thiS

who

thiS is pinkamena

it IS pinkamena

how

we need to TALK

* * *

Nov. 13.

Dear Diary,

What a funny few weeks it's been!

Pinkamena and me had a long heart-to-heart (which is funny, 'cause we share the same one). Turns out I was right all along: she's not bad or scary when you get to know her—just sad and misunderstood. And who wouldn't be? She's been trapped for who-knows-how-long, able to watch and listen, but never do anything. I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it!

But things are better now. We agreed to take turns being in charge. Pinkamena doesn't mind doing chores—says she finds 'em relaxing, and likes that she doesn't have to think too hard. She's been working on practicing fine movements and stuff, and when she's good enough at writing, I'll get her her own diary, as a congratulations present.

Speaking of which, I thought of throwing her a Congratulations-on-Contacting-the-Outside-World-After-Being-Trapped-in-Somepony-Else's-Body-Your-Whole-Life party, but she said she wanted to get to know everypony slowly. I guess even vestigial twins can't have everything in common.

It's pretty weird when Pinkamena takes over. I can see and hear and feel things, but can't do anything, except send her a little nudge when I want to take the body over again. I could try and force it, but that kind of hurts. Pinkamena promised not to break our body while she was using it (her sense of humor is kind of dry).

I convinced her to apologize to Mr. Cake, and to try not be so touchy from now on. She grumbled a bit, but she'll just have to learn these things if she's ever going to get along with ponies. Mr. Cake took some convincing, but when he finally came around, he didn't have much to say. He's kind of been walking on eggshells around us since then. Nopony's ever been scared of me before. I hope it doesn't last much longer, though Pinkamena thinks it's funny.

You can bet she was a pretty tough sell to my friends. When I went to introduce her, Rarity swooned and Rainbow reared up and Twilight turned funny colors again and Fluttershy hid in a tree and Spike ran off and AJ just kinda froze. But the first thing Pinkamena did was forgive Twi and Rainbow for what they said about her a while back, since they hadn't known any better.

Well, you can bet that visit lasted a long time! Once we'd coaxed Fluttershy down and found Spike, Pinkamena explained everything. Then we had to remind them about all the stuff we're supposed to be learning about friendship. (I can't have been the only one paying attention all this time... can I?)

It wasn't easy, but we've hung out a couple of times since then, and in the end, they warmed up to her. So in the end, our little circle of friends has grown. Now it's six mares, a dragon, and Pinkamena.

Life is good.

Love,

XXOOXO

Pinkie

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