It all began in Cloudsdale
The Secret Behind Fluttershy’s Acrophobia
It all began in Cloudsdale
Some ponies wonder why Fluttershy is so afraid of heights. She’s done a remarkable job of keeping it secret, but like all classifications, this wouldn’t be kept in the dark for long. Eventually, somepony would get curious about her fears. Typically, the pony who finally began to question Fluttershy's aversion towards flying was her long time friend, Rainbow Dash. Our tale begins with the aftermath of escorting water to Cloudsdale, which drove the cerulean Pegasus to interrogate her mind about Fluttershy’s fears of high altitudes, formally known as acrophobia. She began by observing what she knew of the young pony.
First: she knew there was a definite fear.
Second: she didn’t know who Fluttershy's parents were, which could contribute in some way.
Third: her fears were so drastic that they drove her to live on the ground, added with the love of animals.
And finally: she didn’t let her fears stop her from helping her friends when they needed her most.
This was basic, knowledgeable Intel that Rainbow knew, so now, with that out of the way, all she needed was the answer to the slowly developing question that formed in her head: why was Fluttershy so afraid of heights when she's a Pegasus? True, if she was any other pony race, she would probably have a justifiable reason, but this didn’t add up. Rainbow was no mathematician, but she could, however, piece the puzzle together, but with missing pieces, it would never be completed.
The blue pony speculated on the matter while laying on one of her clouds, trying desperately to catch some shuteye, unsuccessfully though. Her mind wandered from Fluttershy to the sky and back again. Finally, she couldn’t handle it anymore, and soared down with hazy vision, headed for her friend’s cottage. Landing softly, she stared at the wooden door, mainly the squiggly patterns that could be seen on the surface. Her friend always had an extreme fear of aeronautics, and come to think of it, Rainbow should have seen this earlier on. The way she behaved when she flew, the bashful act she portrayed whenever she was at Cloudsdale; it all added up now that Rainbow was able to piece things together, but would the curious pony be able to juice the answer out of her friend, or fail trying?
Knock
Knock
Knock
…
No answer was heard, just some rustling and a small squeal. Rainbow asked “Fluttershy… are you in there?”
“Yes, but I’m a little caught up right now…" the resident said. "The door’s open. Come in... that is, if you want.”
The Pegasus entered to the smell of animals and incense, vanilla flavored. The aroma lured her in, making the room feel comforting and pleasantly homely. As she looked around, she saw Angel denying his food once more while Fluttershy attempted to invite the young rabbit to try at least one bite. Despite her constant offering, the bunny wouldn’t even try a nibble. Giggling at this, Rainbow asked “So, umm, Fluttershy… I was wondering…”
The butter yellow Pegasus rose and asked “What’s on your mind Rainbow? I don’t think Angel is going to eat anytime soon, so I’ve got some time.” She slowly walked over to her couch and hopped on. Getting herself comfortable, she bid her friend over to sit with her by patting her hoof on the side cushion. Rainbow felt sheepish, asking this question. She wasn’t sure if Fluttershy would be able to talk about it, but then, she had to make sure it wasn’t something distressful, and she had to be there for her friend. Lying down next to her, Rainbow cleared her throat and asked “I just wanna know… why are you afraid of heights?”
Fluttershy’s eyes dilated at the question. No doubt, unknown to Rainbow Dash until this point, she brought up a very troublesome memory. The shy mare looked away from Rainbow’s gaze and fell silent, enough for the room to created still air which made the two mares feel like time stopped all together. Slowly and silently, Fluttershy tried to speak, but all that came out was “I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Huh?” Rainbow asked, unable to hear her small, quiet sentence.
Fluttershy looked back at her friend with glassy eyes, the kind she got just before crying. Rainbow despised it when she teared up, which almost made her want to exit the premises right then and there to avoid seeing it. The uneasy pony brought herself to say “It’s… a very bad experience… and it h-happened before I met you… I-I’d really rather not discuss it Rainbow Dash.”
The spectrum maned pony looked down and said “I need to know… It’s been bugging me for about a week now… It’s been in the back of my mind for a few years, but now, it’s just too important for me to let slide by… Just tell me Fluttershy… What made you so scared of heights? And don't tell me it was from those bullies laughing at you. It's something else... I can feel it.”
The pony gulped her frustrations and began with tears escaping to her cheeks. “It h-happened in Cloudsdale…" her shaky voice began. "My mother… she was a Pegasus… but my dad was a unicorn… I inherited my mother’s wings, and my dad’s mane and coat features… He cast a spell on himself to a-allow him to walk on clouds… but… but…”
The sobbing pony began to hyperventilate vigorously at the memory. Whatever it was, Rainbow knew it didn’t end well. She wrapped her hoof around the mare and held her tight while stroking her mane, trying thoroughly to calm her down and saying “Come on, Flutters… just chill and finish what you were trying to say.” Eventually, the crying mare took a furtive breath of air and continued.
“My father… H-his magic was never very g-good… his spell… it ended… and he fell to his death right in front of me!” Rainbow’s eyes widened as her ears heard the devastating revelation. She could only imagine the how horrible it must have felt to witness her own father's death. “My mother… she was signing up for a routine flight, and while she was gone, my dad… he just fell… right through the clouds! … E-ever since then, I’ve always been afraid of… h-heights.”
Rainbow was shocked at this, and didn’t know how to accept it in her heart. No response would come to mind, and with no way of dealing with the news appropriately, she just held her wailing friend securely. All she was able to muster was “I’m… so sorry… I-I didn’t know… If I knew… I wouldn’t have brought that e-experience up…” Her muzzle buried itself in the upset Pegasus’s mane, muffling her final phrase, “I’m so sorry.”
Sometimes, secrets should be left in the dark. The feeling of losing a loved one can leave just about anypony crestfallen, especially from a young age. Fluttershy lost her father, and never could adjust with her feelings. It was like walking down a flight of stairs, and somepony forgot one last step. The pony's hoof sinks down and the sudden realization sends this surmise of reality to the mind, and the pony comes to understand what happened, but is baffled at how he or she didn't see this coming. The years of Fluttershy's life was filled with ponies mocking her about her inability to fly when it wasn't because she couldn't, but the reason being of her fathers death. If you've ever had a loved one suddenly leave your life forever, especially one that was a family member, you know the awareness of dealing with the losses. And if you've never had to compromise with the notion, you have yet to experience the painfully upsetting and heart achingly insufferable experience the butter yellow Pegasus had to deal with all her life.
Eventually, things would pass, but Fluttershy never would be able to cope the traumatizing experience, but anytime she needed to cry about it, or required a friend to talk to, Rainbow would be there for her, like she's always been, and always will.
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Sad speed write. Wrote this in approximately 55 minutes and 46 seconds. Challenge presented by my SSP to write a sad story on the spot, edit and proof read said story under one hour. Challenge accepted and completed. Now I need ratings and comments.
Not bad for something written so fast. It's very sad.
Under an hour? I say, well done
I like Fluttershy. Will read later.
Whoa.... That story hit home for me. No joke, my father passed away 3 years back. Awesome story nonetheless!
I love it!
But, I can't help you with a critique, sadly.
If I had to say anything, it would be that the moral seemed constrained being forced in a single paragraph like it is. But again, for a quickly written thing, I love it.
I did notice these, however. Something simple and easy to fix, thankfully.
Not bad. I think Fluttershy came out to say it a little too fast, but it was a good read. Thumbs up
sad, sweet story. now i'm gonna check out the rest of your stories.
1326037 Thank you. It's been fixed.
1326127
No problem.
Sometimes, though, I wish I could feel the pain. I say this because I have lived with many foster families before finally being adopted. I will forever feel the hole of never having knew my parents, but sometimes I feel cold from never having had the chance to love them.
What can you do, though? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
I'm a Pegasus with acrophobia and that's perfectly fine...
But you have a good story in front of you. I don't really read teen stories, however.
Hey Art! That's a mighty fine story for under an hour.
I noticed this, though. "witness her won father's death" --> witness her own father's death
It does seem to lack a little bit of backbone. Understandable. There wasn't much introduction and setting before getting straight to your story, which made it a bit harder to connect to, and thus, less emotional. But knowing you, as a writer, it is easier to get. This story is definitely your style, and I say, thumbs up.
Rarely Used Popular Emoticons:
1326541 Thank you. It's been fixed!
Another quick fix I caught.
I think you mean "tale".
The story itself is alright, but I felt like it lacked resolution. Yes, Fluttershy's story is sad, but that's not necessarily enough to end on. What's more is that it feels kinda..."dumped" on you. Like, "Oh, by the way, sadness." I'd consider going back and expanding on the dialogue. Really make Rainbow have to work to get the story out of her, and then develop Fluttershy's emotional outbreak more. Also consider that maybe this secret SHOULD be brought to light, and that Rainbow might be able to (with the help of the others possibly) assist Fluttershy in overcoming her phobia and come to terms with her father's death. These are just my thoughts, and either way you have a solid foundation to build on here. Good job. :)
1326918 Thank you! It's fixed, and the story will actually stay the same due to it being a speed write. To change it in any way other than editing would still be messed up on my part, if any of that makes any sense.
Awww, poor fluttershy :( I've read stories about fluttershy and why she would rather live on the ground than in the skies, but this one was different than the rest. Great, but sad, story.
Very well written, i loved it and it explains a lot. I can't wait to read some more of your stuff.
Yeah, secrets should be kept in the dark sometimes...
But eventually they always come out.
I've been hiding my love for my best friend for... i have no clue how many years. And while venting to her about yet another trobulesome thing, i somehow let it all out. And i do believe i ruined our friendship.
And now, it's the only thing i can talk about......
I can see this was made rather quickly.
I really like the premise, and your writing is great. However, I wouldn't see Fluttershy cave into explaining her horrible memories and how they synch in with her flying. It came at us in a few paragraphs and that's it. I felt like this could have been brought out more, and I would have liked to feel more emotion for Fluttershy, because it's a traumatizing experience anyone can feel, but it was too short to really get anything out of her minus what happened to her father. Nothing seems to have happened minus us discovering this and Fluttershy coming out with it. Maybe we could have seen her come to terms with it rather than have it explained, I don't really know? But since you made this more as a speed challenge, I can tell this was made with not too much time to really bring it everything that I wanted to see. Still, it's good, despite my dislikes about it.
1328444 I'm considering making another version with more show rather than tell... but not right now. I'm very tired.
1328464 Ah. Well, should you do so, I'd be very interested.
1328550 Thanks.
Pretty good for a speed-write.
The only thing that makes this sadder is that I'm listening to fitting music.
1325982
Somthing tells me you light twilight as well.
1330879
What makes you think that?
1330966
Because latex is best pony
1337092
I like yer reasons!
Honestly.... It didn't make me fall into tears, but..... It was very nice
Thumbs up.
1327696 Dude that sucks... I hope everything turns out okay.
Needed a little more length and less author to reader kind of writing. You were telling in your own voice, not in Rainbow dash's or Fluttershy's voice. Good concept though.
I think we'd all know why Fluttershy's afraid of heights, the episode "Cutie Mark Chronicles" gave a perfectly good reason for that. She fell off a cloud, way up high in the air, leading to, presumably, her doom.