Epilogue
The next day found Citrine and I back at Fancy Pants’ office. She remained by the door as I crossed the room. Mr Pants jumped from his chair as I walked over to his desk.
“My dear Mr Steel.” He shook my hoof vigorously for several seconds. “Congratulations on solving the case. I hear the perpetrator is in custody and Quicksilver has been released.”
I nodded. “Yes, all true. And thank you.”
“I read the article in this morning’s paper. I have to say I was a little disappointed that the police took all the credit for solving the case. Their only mention of you was that they received some investigative assistance from Discrete Discovery Private Investigators. They didn’t even mention your name. I don’t think that’s appropriate.”
“I requested it.”
His head jerked back. “What? Why?”
“Well, in my line of work, it’s actually better to not have everypony recognize you.” I reached up and tilted my fedora forward just a bit to obscure part of my face as I smiled.
“Ah, I see. That makes sense. Still, being named as the pony who solved such a case would also have been great advertising for your business.”
“It’s okay. Just having the business name mentioned gave us visibility. It’s generated a lot more inquiries than we are able to take on as new clients.”
“As long as business is growing. So, to what do I owe the honor of your visit today?”
I tapped the floor with a hoof. “First, I wanted to thank you again for your help yesterday. That quite literally saved my life.”
He waved a hoof. “Pssh, think nothing of it. It was a tiny investment towards solving the case and restoring Quicksilver’s credibility.”
I tapped the floor again. “Second, the other day you talked about how important knowledge is to you. I may have some knowledge you have yet to acquire by your own methods.”
His eyebrows went up. “I am intrigued. Please, go on.”
“Well, you know the guilty pony was caught, and that his name is Astral Rune.” He nodded. “There’s some additional information that hasn’t been released yet. Something that affects you. You see, Astral had a pseudonym he used for some of his illegal activity… Kaafe Mane.”
His eyes went wide as he whispered, “Message Fire.”
I nodded. “Yes. I’m afraid that mixture was fraudulently filed. You will be visited later today or tomorrow and given an injunction to cease all development and sales of the Message Fire mixture as the license is invalid.”
He slumped into his chair as small beads of sweat started to form on his forehead. “Oh, this is bad. We have wagons of bits invested in development. And the contract negotiations…” I could hear the grinding of the gears in his head as he calculated the losses piling up.
“I may have a solution to your problem… if you’re interested.”
His head snapped up. “Interested? Are you kidding? I’ll take anything I can get.”
“It just so happens that I know the inventor of the original mixture: Dragon’s Fire. I also know he has yet to make any licensing deals on what is clearly an extremely valuable mixture. I suspect that if somepony were to move fast enough, with a sufficiently generous offer, they just might be able to secure exclusive rights.”
I turned and nodded to Citrine who opened the door. Quicksilver and Misty confidently entered the office and walked forward. Fancy immediately put on his best salesman smile and stepped over to greet the couple. “Quicksilver, Misty, so wonderful to see you both again.”
I walked around them and headed for the door. As I went past, I caught Quicksilver’s eye, and we both nodded once. Yes, he’s going to be just fine.
Citrine and I left the office and strolled down the hallway.
“That was a nice thing you did for Quicksilver and Misty back there.”
“He’s too invested to lose that license. He’ll do right by them.”
After a few moments, she looked at me with a sly grin. “By the way, your mane today looks totally... fabulous. What’s your secret?”
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Wow, what an excellent story, my brain was burning to figure out that who is the real murder. You are a good writer of the detective-type story. Here I see more characters are joining this chronicle. There are Opal, Legal Eagle, Shadow Hunter, and Long Shot. Each one of them is good. Can't wait to see them return. My favorite point is that Dark Steel and Citrine are married! There is no flaw to me in this story, so the only thing I can say is...I want more Dark Steel!
11079933
As mentioned in the Backstory blog for this story, I have another tale written, edited, and scheduled to publish in January. Just hang on, it's coming.
11079933
Agreed, I really enjoyed these new characters when editing. Truth be told, they don't appear in the next DS story--I bet you'll still like that one a lot though--but I think that if we plead hard enough, bkc will eventually get another idea for a DS story that might feature these characters.
11081218
But no pressure, right?
11081382
No, never!
11103306
Did you pre-read Little Filly Lost (I can't remember). If not, it just may knock this one down a notch. It starts publishing in two weeks.
And thanks for your comments. I look forward to any more you might have.
11103337
Yes, I did pre-read that story. I remember it being a rather well told tale, which was also one of my favorites. I look forward to checking it out.
11128953
Looks like an editing artifact. I took the path of least resistance with a fix. Thanks.
You may find it interesting that I'm in pre-development on another Dark Steel story, and Long Shot is, in fact, a minor, but important character.
This is easily one of your best stories. I'm sure I said this when I pre-read it for you, but there isn't a lot to critique on this story. You have a very solid beginning, in fact I'd say it reminded me a lot of the older Scooby Doo movies I used to watch growing up. The middle of the story works, there isn't anything I could suggest you add, or take away, so again you did well there. And the ending is really good, I can tell where there were some edits this time, but they all helped iron out your story in some way or another, and overall makes the reading experience a smooth ride to enjoy.
This still makes me laugh. This name is never not going to be funny to me, I could read this a few times every year, and it will still make me laugh. I've seen a lot of fake names in stories before, but this one is hands down the best of the bunch, and I'm not talking about fake names I've seen in stories on FIM, I'm also talking about movies, games, and other stories where an alias is used.
I'd also like to say that the way you developed this story was fantastic. A lot of new writers make a mistake when writing a story where a character is framed for a crime. Usually things don't line up well, or the dots aren't connecting right, but you avoided all of those pitfalls here.
Using Quicksilver's occupation as a way to frame him is an excellent choice, and one that is very believable. I think I also said that after I pre-read this story, but I wanted to say it again because it just works well. It also helps the main character find the culprit because Quicksilver, at least in theory, would know whether or not his mixture was lethal to others, and if it is, he'd know just how much mixture would be needed to make a lethal dose. Once again, this is just a really great choice to anchor your crime story around because there is a certain sense of logic that can be followed throughout the story.
I was hoping to give you a more detailed review, but life, and work, have really left me exhausted these past few days, and I wanted to get this review out to you sooner rather than later. I will say that there is a lot more I wanted to say about the opening to your story, but the words escape me right now, but just know that the beginning of the story was my favorite portion as it drew me in right away. You did a fantastic job on this before your editor got it, and with those edits you made an even sharper, more refined story. Keep up the good work!
11144735
Thanks for the positive comments. Pacing can be hard so I'm glad it worked. The villain monologue is kind of a tired troupe, but sometimes it's the best way to fill in those missing details that are needed to fully explain everything.
Your Review is done:
My little Reviews & Feedback
11236296
Thanks.
That was a really good story. Its been awhile since I've seen such a entertaining mystery story.