- Member Since 2nd Oct, 2011
- offline last seen Sep 5th, 2023
Lunafan1k
Navy Vet working IT, I usually write about whatever inspires me.
Lunafan1k
Joined 2nd Oct, 2011 ·
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Well, this isn't gore... nor is it clop. Random, I guess. The writing was good, but things happen so fast that you can't really feel bad for Lyra.
ill have to read this later; im reading the Green Mile from Steven King right know.
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Not Lyra
1225498
Took the words right out of my mouth.
This…this is disturbing
1225423 alright I will admit I was lacking in the writing style. Truth be told I never looked into them and play it by ear. Suggestions?
Also, I admit I may have gone too far with the details. I have a hyper active imagination and type what I "see." if I ever write another I will try to hold back and be more vague.
You submit to one part, not two. Read the rules before submitting to the group
This was just a mess. Unpleasant subject matter aside, the main character lacks any characterization other than being evil apparently because he likes being evil. There are just about no people like that, and such a blunt characterization makes him uninteresting. Everything is obvious; nothing is a surprise.
Secondly, you wrote a HiE story about a cartoonish criminal stereotype raping Lyra. Your time would have been better spent counting grains of sand.
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1226300 Ah I have seen the error of my ways and third time shall be the charm
1226653 Because cliche.
1226055 Goes to show I didn't do my homework on this, I meant it as an "oh fuck" type of fic, which I have failed.
I clopped to this..
...i feel like a sick bastard now......
It's fucked up... but it's kinda meant to be... so Not sure if dislike is... Ah fuck-it. I'm just gonna say it's not my thing and leave it be.
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I only gave you a like because you referanced Green Mile and John Coffee just died IRL.
I love Stephen King. But this, It needs to be killed. With fire.
1228422 well I don't like deleting stories that are bad because they serve as a reminder of what not to do. I did however remove it from the groups it was posted in except one shots. For some reason it won't let me remove it
1229050 cool. Now don't get me wrong, it was a "good" story, and well written, but it was a bit much on the gore.
1231072 BITCH YOU THINK I DON'T FEEL THE SAME WHY!!!...*CIRES*
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absentparachute.deviantart.com/art/Even-derpy-hates-you-283859414
http://absentparachute.deviantart.com/art/Even-derpy-hates-you-283859414
Hmm what to say Great fic loved it
just kidding but liked the green mile reference
good read
I enjoyed this dark fiction.
Even though, the antagonist really took the zoophilia/rape a little too quickly.
But hey! Crazy people are crazy, might switch their minds in a fraction of a second.
Keep up with the Tragedy one-shots. I look forward to them, as graphic as they can get, as long as it's rated Teen or Mature.