- Member Since 7th Aug, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 25th, 2021
Kizuna Tallis
Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge.
Kizuna Tallis
Joined 7th Aug, 2012 ·
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Kizuna Tallis · 9.7k words · 25 3 · 1.9k views
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Has potential, you may want to add a mature tag, if you're going to get all grity, bloody and gory. Plus the death of children turned into Newfoals, to be used as mere cannon fodder against Humanity.
Friggin sweet!
I'm so happy I've inspired this.... It's like a wonderful floaty feeling...
Good start. Was going to take a swing and add stuff, minor things so no worries. I will work in your story in a later chapter, for now on...
This is Canon.
Big seal approval.
3535865
Decent point. I'm not going to go all Killzone/Call of Duty/etc on this story, but I do want some grit. I guess mature probably will be better for this.
3535871 Thank you! Definitely check out the original "Other Side of the Spectrum" story! You won't regret it!
3536462 Heehee I bet.
3536550 Hey!
Well, I'm not opposed to maybe rewriting parts of this. Give me some pointers on skype or email for sure, and I'm more than happy to take your suggestions!
3537028
We need a Killzone/TCB crossover and with the way shadowfall ended it could work.
3537466 That's... that's brilliant.
3547995 Why thank you.
Good. Let the world building be complete!
Glad I can help!
3561716
Also, folks don't be afraid to add stuff about this on the TV Tropes article!
Hey, i swear those two deaths they talked about near the ending were from other stories.
3564095 The original TCB: The Other Side of the Spectrum story you mean?
3564394 Yeah something like that.
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9WqwFhX6Cqg]
This is epic!
What small town in Ohio? I live in a "small" town in Ohio if 20,000 people is small. Give 'em hell, good chapter again
Perfect.
Check in on my story, and your little fallout makes a scene!
3615228 Hmmm, haven't quite thought about it. Any suggestions?
Thank you BTW!!
3616278 Thank you!!
I saw the additions to the Google Docs chapter last night! Loved it all!!
An updort that I didn't notice?!
SACREBLEU
Also: I knew we had to make a Conquer The Stars reference sometime.
That was a good update. The insight of Humans from the HLF adds a nice shade of realism to this story.
Billions of Humans have died in this war, so many evacuation of civilians don't go smothy. I think in the original story stands 3 billion Humans been turned into Ponies.
I'm looking forward to the next update.
yay
Really!? So all those alien movies lied to me?
4142869 Hey they seemed nice at first, then later it turned out they were meanie aliens trying to destroy us with lasers.
Awesome. No prob in the helping. Now then! I must finish Multiverse.
Redskin away! Woosh!
This was so much fun to work on
Honestly, though? Khan Aitmatov, Melnik, and that mare that I really should have named later (She'll get one soon, folks!) are just more soldiers in the war, there to radio in other news, provide extra asskicking, and give other perspectives. Just do whatever feels right for them
4223584 Yeah, I'm thinking of having them be kinda "heroes of another story" type deal, but they're not really core characters. Still might be part of the "dragons" as a whole, maybe even cameo in the main Spectrum story.
4223654 I like the sound of THAT!
To whatever happens next!
*toasts*
Awesome.
4239245 We had so much fun with this
4246470
I can tell.
YOU ARE WELCOME
ETA on the next chapter?
I am thouroghly intrigued.
Don't forget minor knowledge of Russia, references, and guns!
I CAN do things besides murder, you know...
4614655 noooooo. No murder is your thing.
4614803 But is it the only thing?
Also i just realized this but I am totally not about to help my case.
I have a AK74 just an FYI, and 1080 rounds of 7n6 5.45x39.
4615442 Better hold onto that, since it sounds like there isn't going to be anymore surplus 5.45 brought into the US anymore
4616246 paid $180 last October for it.
4616323 Nice, I'm stuck in Canada so we can still get surplus 5.45 but nothing to shoot it out of, because lol AK ban.
4616332 what about this then? fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t31.0-8/856931_523785001059025_2014271174412667850_o.jpg
4616438 :That an AR15 chambered in 5.45? I would expect them to be available but hard to find. Considering the only the that would be any popular around here would be an AK74 or variant that fires 5.45 is banned nobody bothers to import it. Too much of a niche market to import surplus ammo for the 5 people with an AR15 in 5.45
nope it is 7.62x39
Ahhh, Borz machine pistol. Scrap metal, crude wooden grip, and bare minimum of machining, cranked out in underground workshops and bombed-out warehouses. And wallahi, does it show. Good luck to hit anything out beyond seven or eight meters, and forget about swapping mags. Then again, we were only meant to use them until we could get something better. Cheap, easy, disposable. Just like the teenage conscripts made to carry them. Ojalla ya Marsho...
Now that is out of the way, I am enjoying this story very much, waiting eagerly to see more.
4624194
Thank you!
The thing about the fridge is that it's based on a true story - my uncle John somehow got on top of the fridge when he was younger. Nobody knows how.
You know, considering how Marcus dealt with the HLF, I don't think he and Porter get along too well.
Out of all The Other Side of the Spectrum's side stories, I believe this to be my favourite.
I love the Spectrumverse dearly, but in my opinion, yours here just gets so much right. If I had to sum it up in one phrase, I'd say this story's big strength lies in how it uses a "less is more" approach, in contrast with other Spectrum stories' tendency of getting a bit too over-the-top and moralizing for their own good at times.
Plus, this may be my fav chapter in this series, next to the main's story's chapter 'Trust'. The narration and pacing are very well-done throughout, making rather elegant use of the little details to build character and setting. Even though I read these fics where war is a central element, I am not and have never been interested in military hardware, meaning I tend to usually skip past the passages explaining firearms and so forth. Here, however, you managed to integrate the mention of the Borz pistol with such seamlessness that I legitimately felt worried about whether the weapon's unreliability was going to "blow up" in our heroes' faces. No idea if that was meant to be a red herring or not, but it worked nicely for me.
I also feel the chapter had just enough violence and gore to remind readers that yes, being a soldier is a nasty business and will cost a person, while also balancing it with the more uplifting elements. Helping matters is that we've got to know these characters by now, and although each of them fits into a familiar archetype, I find you made them engaging enough for me to fully buy that the people on this team include a former North Korean and two pastel-coloured talking horses.
It's nice to remember that despite its brutality, this is still a My Little Pony story at heart, and silly moments such as the "tickle torture" scene or the diabetes-inducing cuteness of Comet Tail are what readers need more of than yet another fanfic which prides itself on its juvenile grimdarkness.
... Though, by the same token, since one of your characters is named after somebody from Metro 2033, the Solar Empire would be wise to remember that while they are jackals, humans can be wolves when the need arises.
Yeah, forgive me, I just had to work in that phrase somehow. 
And as no VoxAdam review would be complete without some Lyra fanboyism, let me say that I loved how you highlighted her role... by keeping her out of the spotlight. One of the few times it's wiser to go against the "show, don't tell" rule is when the narrative treats a secondary character as superlatively awe-inspiring. Unless you're really confident in your capability to write a person as one of the greatest leaders or speakers or idealists who ever lived, it's more convincing for readers to see how the main characters act based on how they've been motivated by said person. So good job there, and I await the inevitable scene where the Dragons of the East hear of her execution...
By the way, I noticed your latest edit on TVtropes about Ambassador Lyra's orientation.
Well, I'm glad you thought to deal with the issue of Canon!Lyra asking Marcus about his relationship with her counterpart. That initially rubbed me the wrong way, because I dislike it when male action heroes are so manly they can even attract homosexual women, but now... Heh, I guess now we know just what Lyra was spending her energy on when she should have been studying and going to sleep at a decent time, amirite? 
Looking forward to the next chapter!
4885520 Why thank you very much!
Of course, still gotta give credit to the others for their input. I'm admittedly not the best at writing action sequences, so they've been a good help with that and the weapons tech.
Heee, Comet is fun to write. And oh yes, their reaction to Lyra's death will be a massive feels trip.