I love that show maybe because we had the same name. I thought it was cool that I was matched with generator Rex but then it got weird when a portal opened up and sucked me into it. Inside the portal these blue lines started to show up everywhere on my body I couldn’t handle all of it and I passed out. What will happen
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wow, imagine this being possible in real life.
A few things;
1. Do not use pictures in a story. It's lazy. Describe the characters instead and let the imagination do the work.
2. Don't keep swapping POV in a chapter, and don't denote it. It's also lazy writing, and it'll render the reader confused. If you're going to change from one character's perspective to another, do it via a chapter.
3. Avoid run on sentences. Many of the sentences in this story are far too long.
I think it's cool, and it looks like you took my advice
10727943
Thanks
You always would want to make a good impression in front of someone’s friends.
I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about the show.
I got confused reading this when trying to figure out, which sentence belongs to which character, but i managed it.
Ok few things, one: still confusing dialog in the begining but, better near the end with twi and the girls. Second: nice touch with Felix
You need to put quotation marks for when Rex is speaking. Also slow down your pace and describe/ go into more depth on certain things. The way it’s written now makes it feel rushed
This would suck if didn’t know anything about Generator Rex.
Here's No Face
So When's the next chapter?