The name is marquis Smith and I'm the evo hero of Equestria, and this is my story on how I came to Equestria and help the Equestrian fight the caribou.
Also did I mention that I died and I meet god who sent me there.
Chapters (4)
Jayelms43
Joined 8th Aug, 2019 ·
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I love that show. I was thinking about doing something similar but put him in Equestrian girls universe
You still can it's just my is dealing with the caribou
Have you considered trying to use narrative devices to make the point of view obvious instead of announcing it?
10722209
Jayelms43 my dude... please listen to this ‘man’.
That and you should probably get an editor or an editing software like ‘Grammarly’ because there are... (takes a breath) a (quote unquote)
’FEW’
grammatical errors here and there.
Mainly small things like not having Capitalised Word at the start of your sentences (or sometimes when someone’s speaking), with the main culprit’s being whenever someone’s talking or thinking about something.
However if there’s one thing I highly recommend you do, it’s read the “Writing Guide” (which can be found there or here), which can also be found in the ‘Help’ tab at the top of your screen.
Or (if your using mobile) it’s the third last tab on the pop out on the left side of your screen. I would recommend using it as a guideline of sorts when it comes to writing.
So only minor errors so far, good job!
You should have asked about the five nanites that basically made Generator Rex a God but it's your story
werent they called evo's?
Auto correct keeps making me write the wrong thing
Dude you ruined the surprise, but yes it's Van Kleiss.
10763381
sorry
10763381
not realy a supprise since there are only 2 villens in the show that can be genuinly be terrifying and those being Van Kleiss and Zag RS.
soloquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Motivational-Quotes-Stay-Amazing.jpg
10763381
You cannot start the story all saying round 2 without a round 1 and makes no sense
That's because the first chapter was round 1
10769930
Okay I just went through chapter one again and I did not see him threatening King Dane like not at all. So in chapter 3 when he said he threatened King Dane when did that happen?
I want mean by the threat is the he destroyed his army that was the threat
10776166
😑
I'm honestly enjoying this I really hope it is still continuing
Kind of wonder what happens next.
Where's Spike though?
when is the next chapter coming out?
You reply to comments by moving your mouse over to the right hand side of the comment you want to reply to and clicking on the >> that appears. What is that thing in the cover art?
Can't wait for the next chapter
And why didn't he take the nanites out of all three of them?
More good