• Member Since 4th Dec, 2020
  • offline last seen Yesterday

MoonlitBeat


Just a nerd who is in most fandoms... yep

E

On an 'average' day in Equestria, (whatever that entails), the whole sky suddenly turns pitch black. Its also concentrating over the Everfree. But when the silhouette of a pony absorbs the whole thing, and falls from the sky, you would think its a new villain. Well... not exactly.

(I'm bad with descriptions, and this is my first fic, so constructive criticism is appreciated.)

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 4 )

Hey, just wanted to say great start so far in this story. Not to much info on the main characters so far on the first chapter. Maybe the only thing I would say would be a smoother transition into the character Blacklight if I remember correctly there at the start. Maybe set a mysterious area/room scene before, "He sighed. Who is this person you might wonder? Well, at this point, even he did not know truly." Unless you wanted the character left ominous and mysterious?

10691182
Yeah, that probably would have worked better, and more info on Blacklight will be put in as the Main 6/Princesses meet him.

Ok I see his problem but maybe he could try to not be so creepy and maybe be a bit more passive you know a lot of living things that can walk around would run away from something that is pitch black, far bigger than them and has the ability to bring up all your worst memories and feelings

10697289
Some things will be revealed next chapter, but I'll just say now, its not his choice.

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