• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2020
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

PoneFluff


Newbie writer, Luna/Fluttershy Best ponies

Comments ( 37 )

Interesting story so far, would like to see where this story is going, but I really think this story would need at least a prologue to get a clear idea of who they where before they arrive in Equestria, or have a hint at how they arrive there unless the that mystery is important for the plot. So far the writing is top notch so I hope you will keep it up.


Also, if you are ever interested in commissioning for a cover art for your story you can PM me about it. If you want look at some of my work you can look up at my Youtube Channel and my DeviantArt gallery I wish you good luck on your story.

10628206
If i'm honest I wasn't entirely sure how to handle a prologue whilst maintaining a bit of the mystery as to why they arrived there.
I do have a plan for their arrival, just not one I want to reveal yet

Really happy to hear you're enjoying the fic though!

I added the story in several group, this should help getting more attention on your story, I was surprised that you only added it in one group. For the chapter itself, new we are getting some plot going with that voice and strongly suggest that there is a reason for them to be there. Keep it up

10631961
Don't worry, I've got a plan behind the voice, she's gonna be a bit of a plot motivator for a few events

Also if I'm honest I didn't know if there was much of a taboo about adding your own stories to groups, kinda new to the site

I'll be tracking this, since it looks like it has potential.

Tibbs is gonna have to change his name. That's not a griffon name; it doesn't start with a G.

Well, things has gotten interesting.

Nice to see an update so soon, but I have to warn you I lose quickly interest in a story if it is updated to often, I just can't keep up with all the stories I follow. As for the chapter it was good, I hope they will make a full recover or at least have a fully functional prosthesis if they actually lose a limb. I wonder if the guards will also be part of the cast. At the moment seeing that they are four arriving in Equestria, and are now in contact with the native I think the lack of distinctive personalities between them might start to become a problem for the story if they don't each have their own unique personnel struggles to go thought because at the moment they all feel interchangeable at the moment. Still i do like the way you go into detail. Keep it up.

10633900
If I'm honest I did rush a little to get ch4 out, I've got university resuming tomorrow so I don't know what my schedule will be like, so updates will slow down.

As for the cast, I do plan to give them some breathing room now that they're out of the life or death situation in the forest. Some more calm slice of life stuff, adapting to equestria, learning about the place, introducing some side Characters in hoofington and such.

As for the guards I shan't spoil too much for them yet, as I do have plans for them.

"I don't know where we are, as to what happened? The last I remember we were in Tibbs' car headed to London. We can deal with that later though, priority needs to be survival." I announced, training taking over as I tried to locate the sun, finding hovering at what either was 7 am or 7 pm.

Interesting, was he a human scout or just knew this type of stuff?

Strange name, Tibbs.

Yes, the wait was worth it.

Interesting chapter, looks like their outworld origins is out of the bag and this magic being. From the looks of it Celestia does exude an aura of submission to her of some sort and is suspicious of them to a degree. The magic might actually be related to NMM and the pony of shadow, maybe. And it looks like the four of them will be separated, and will settled by different handlers, and any idea of getting them back home soon crushed. The idea that they are now foals is interesting, through I am surprised they they didn't notice their juvenile traits. I will be looking forward to see where it will lead them and how they will manage to reunite together again.

10645921
Glad to hear you're looking forward to the next part!
as for their juvenile traits the way it made sense to me was that they would have no frame of reference until they encountered other ponies, so just assumed they were still similar ages (admittedly the timberwolves and survival took precedent over philosophical pondering on what they turned into)


10645218
That's a relief to hear!

it good chapter. is the dark magic being helping him?

10654528

Minor spoiler, for the fight in the forest.
In the forest yes, Shadow realised they were wounded and so sealed their wounds using dark magic crystals

Was trying to leave it vague but I apologize if it was just unclear

10655230
i mean i kinda assumed he just healed them for that but i was asking about lunas name popping into his head

10655236
Don't worry that's gonna be explained soon, I've got a plan for that in ch7-8

Good thing they don't have alcohol, kids shouldn't be drinking.

Well, would you look at that, we finally got a chronology. Now things are getting more interesting.

The inconsistent (or just plain missing) capitalization of names and places in this story is driving me nuts. :facehoof:

10664827
I'll make sure to try catch those for ch8. I'm sorry about the capitalisation errors.

i like the idea that maby luna is the one who got kicked out her body and nightmare is the one in it now but doesnt relise it. if anyone has seen a story like that can you send it to me i think i saw one a while ago but forgot

Sorry dude been having a lot of complications with work couldn't comment on the chapter until now

10665510
Hope work calms down for you, uni's been kicking me ass the past few days with assignments being dumped on.

Interesting, so it looks like the thing that tainted the four foals might be remnant of Nightmare Moon and they might just be able to link the dotes together, hope fully. I wonder if they will starting being pidgin holed in their current tribes with the griffin getting roped into being acquainted with his 'heritage' and such. I wonder when, why and how Prince Blueblood is going to get involved in the story sense they aren't anywhere Canterlot sense there is a tag of him in the story?

10665802
with regards to Blueblood I do have a plan for him to be fairly majorly involved, it's just taking slightly longer to actually get to canterlot than I'd initially expected, Might need to remove him from the tags for the time being.

10666013
Well you could bring him to them in happenstance like at a important public event or that so state secret investigation that he is sent to look after personally.

Fun chapter nice to see what that spirit was. Not much happening in the chapter but I hope there will be some build up to something soon

10675964
Aye, next chapter should hopefully be more exciting

10632745
I've just realised why that name sounds familiar
Mr. Gibbs is the first mate from pirates of the Carribean

Author's Note:

Minor revisions made as of 14/01/2021

Posting from the fourteenth month of the Year of our Lord 2021? That is some weird-ass time travelling.

10684948
with the magic of friendship and a day/month/year calendar anything is possible

Interesting, I wonder what triggered that sudden rage? I wonder when they will be doing field trips around the area and if these rumors and historical reference have anything to do with NMM and the foal or if the banal reason obvious are just that?

10698070
I have some plans for the history, although I don't wanna give too much away.

Mystic trotted to the front of the class, floating two bags up into the air, before lifting what looked like small barbels out of them and placing one on each desk.

Missing an 'L' there, huh? I don't think you mean the fish with that... :D

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