This story is a sequel to Putting the Luna in Lunatic
Three months since /Pon-E/ and its namesake had appeared online. For Freddy it was life-changing, bringing him new friends and creating the closest friendships he's ever known. Although after two months of near-daily usage, his entire group's supply of Pon-E had run out.
For Freddy's father, the changes he's seen in his son are a source of worry. From a quiet introvert to suddenly going out for parties every other day. Fearing the worst, He'll have to investigate whilst his son is out.
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This is a remastering of a Greentext originally written for the wonderful folks over at /PTFG/ on 4chan. If you'd like to read the original version Click here!
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All stories in this continuity use the Prose version as their definitive version, so changes from green to prose should be expected.
It'll be interesting to see how his dad reacts afterwords.
With a title like that, all I can think about is the song by Rush.
Riiiiight... because parents usually don't care about their kids hiding illegal drugs in their home. :P
10788154
I'll admit I was a little on the nose for the title, but I still like her name and the song it's based on
10788023
Don't worry, you'll see that in the future
Wait... complete? Where's the rest of it? The inevitable crash? The realization it wasn't a trip? Why's Limelight more hyper than a caffeinated Pinkie? It can't be over already, I need a conclusion, dang it!
10790227
I'm working on the next part already, I'm just trying to take it a bit slower to get it right
A fun little story, liked it all. You need an editor, but it's all good.
10830968
I try my best but I do slip up a bit, what errors did I make editing on this?
10830986
I always say don't edit for yourself, because you'll only see what you want to see and read what you want to read.
Just common stuff; punctuation, a few uncapitalized letters to start a sentence or quote. Nothing big or glaring.
Good chapter, the next I'll wait on, because if I have to wait for months between chapters, I'd rather take them all at once than parse them out. :)
10830986
I edited a huge story for a guy who 'was the best editor he knew', but kept making the same mistakes, glaring ones. Like avoiding punctuation for paragraphs at a time and using weird wordings like throwing the word 'some' in at random. "I looked up some." "I walked some." "I stood some."
You're not that bad, or bad at all, to be honest.
10831046
Thanks man, I've been using grammarly to try and compensate for my lack of an editor but I suppose even then I'll still miss something
10831494
Grammarly is okay, but people rely on it too much. It doesn't catch everything and I got blocked by one of my favorite writers because I called him out on it.
10831046
That's... an interesting stylistic choice. But I guess there are worse ones out there. I don't know which 'dialect' it was that used the word 'like' in practically every other sentence, but this 'some' thing definitely takes the cake so far. I mainly use Grammarly because I'm not a native English speaker, but even I know completely relying on that little aide is a foolish thing to do.
10831894
THANK YOU, most people don't see it, but the number of times he uses "a bit" and "some" are crazy, and it's made worse that he'll reject my edits to keep some in there, like they have to be. Lol
"I'll let us in. My old man should be around so just act normal.”
"Like I’m not normal?” I deadpanned at Sam.
^ This threw me off - I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be Fred speaking in the first sentence, and they're going to Fred's house. So I'm guessing that the second sentence should read, "Like I'm not normal?" Sam deadpanned at me.
Neat story!