• Member Since 27th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen October 16th


“All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain”

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you had me at that suicide/self-harm tag. not a lot of HIE fics with something like that and upon reading the chapter there are clearly signs that things are going to go wrong.

Yep! But we gotta build to that first. Things are gonna get heavy....

Anyway constructive criticism is totally welcome and if somehow someone reads this and wants a prologue I’ll try to write something.

What’s the difference between the Introduction and Prologue?

Now I didn’t plan on living with anyon- Anypony, so stupid, but the higher ups or the ‘princesses’ suggested that I learn the “power of friendship” with Ponyvilles own friendship connoisseur Twilight. It was mainly the idea of the larger one Celestia who carries a white coat with golden attire/armor.

I don’t think she’s the friendship connoisseur at this point in time.

My ‘incident’ that brought me here was a little over a week ago and I’d be lying if I said that these ponies have been anything but wonderful to helping me adjust.

That means they were wonderful, right?

My eyebrows are my best feature in my opinion, with a bushy but, kept condition and are placed where they should be right above my grayish blue eyes. Usually they carry dark circles thanks to my insomnia but, that’s getting off topic.

Will that come up?

Now that you can see me in your head which I’m sorry for, we can move to the ponies I know currently.

Not that well, but I’ll try.

Besides the dragon I mentioned earlier which, I should provide you somewhat of a description of seeing how he lives in the same tree as me, I’m quite the outsider.

I don’t think there was a mention of a dragon.

I’m getting off topic however, so let’s go back to the little drake living with me. Frighting as a dragon sounds, he’s anything but. Firstly he goes by just Spike, and is a purple dragon with green spikes running along his body. He roughly reaches my waist in height and is a fellow biped like your boy here. Besides his appearance, he’s a pretty cool kid, I mean he’s like the only male I really know right now so bros have to look out for each other you know?

So, spike is the same height as the ponies?

Her tree home which has a chimney by the way, not sure how that doesn’t kill us all but, doubles as the town library. The main room is lined with several bookshelves along each wall with one of those ladders with the wheels, you know the one, for each side of bookshelves. A set of main stairs leads up into the living quarters of the home separated by a door at the top step. It’s a lovely home and surprisingly doesn't really smell of oak at all.

Is that actually what it looks like?

Moving on from my roommates and my current living quarters, the other few ponies I know are Twilights closest friends. I’ve practically been added to their little friend circle much to my demise, so I know roughly 5-10 peop- Ponies, I will get that down.

Why is that bad?

The next member of the ‘elements’ and member of Twilights circle would be Rainbow Dash. Even though I struggle with names, this ponies wasn’t hard to remember. She’s literally covered with a rainbow mane and tail, yea it sounds as gay as it looks. Her coat is cyan which contrasts well with her pink eyes and, she’s the most athletic of the group. She claims to be the fastest flyer in Equestria and has the biggest tomboy personality I’ve ever met. Besides pissing me off with her pranks, she always tries to get me to compete against her in random shit. Annoying as she can be, she is trying to help me fit in with her own way which I can appreciate. She’s like a second bro beside Spike but, without a dick and I’d say she understands me the most out of the rest of Twilight and the gang.

How does she understand him the most?

I don’t hold a grudge as Pinkie only wants people to be happy and I feel like doesn’t spend enough time for herself. Also I know I said people in the previous sentence but, sometimes you just gotta fail to learn, that being said Pinkies failure to understand me caused that little mishap and we’ve smoothed over the issue since.

Is this being written in a diary or something?

She’s precious and I’d fight to protect the innocence of that pony for the greater good, not that I’m a hero or anything.

Is that foreshadowing?

Now that we have our introductions finally out the way and I’ve bored you to sleep let’s get into how the fuck my story came to be.

You mean how he got there?

“Oh sorry” I run my hand against the back of my neck. “I didn’t realize that wasn’t a phrase around here, with you ponies being all PG and what not”

Does he know he’s in a tv show?

“Well that’s a weird phrase anyway, how was I to expect anyone to openly reference their..., bits” Twilight attempts to compose herself drawing another chuckle out of me and Spike.

Are they saying “anyone” because they have a human living there, now?

“Well” Twilight interrupts. “The idea is I want to see if you have any magic residing within you. Every creature in Equestria has some form of magic so why should you be any different? It won’t be dangerous either! So don’t worry.” She ends with a reassuring smile.

To answer twilight’s question, maybe it’s because he’s not from equestria?

I’m surprised however, to feel a light pressure against my left shoulder, almost like a finger. I raise my arm accordingly.

“That’s good! So you can feel magic interacting with you, and you feel fine right?”

What is she’s touching him with?

Drawing it out? I scuff “Your going to be disappointed Twilight, most you’ll draw out is an aneurysm trying to make something happ-“

He has aneurysms?

I’m freeze my speech as almost instantly in that moment my body turns to a cold sweat. I can feel something crawling up from inside me, sickly and depressing. After a few seconds it begins to feel like my own guts are being vacuumed into the black hole that remains of my core. It begins to become to much physically as I open my eyes suddenly and rush toward the bathroom emptying whatever contents were left in my stomach.

What the fuck was that?!? Am I cursed or some shit?! I lay exhausted leaning against the tub next to the toilet after several dry heaves. My body feels drained of any energy and I notice my own skin has turned pale. I feel cold and tired like a bad fever.

What was that?

“We should get you something to drink and in bed, I’ll write a letter to Celestia and see if she can help or knows anything about this” Twilight was holding back however, she discovered something during the experiment, she wasn’t just scared of his reaction rather what she had felt residing within him.

Why didn’t she tell him?

Twilight made it clear to Celestia in the letter that she wished to keep this secret concealed to only her and the princesses until they could solve this new issue. Surely they could figure this out I mean she has defeated Nightmare Moon and Discord! With the help of her friends of course but, there are ways to conceal magic, if need be it.

Why not tell the others? they might help.

Finally, somewhere around 8 pm, a stirring occurred within the dining room as Princess Celestia appeared through a vail of white smoke.

White smoke?

“I believe we might have an issue, you see I also could feel our friend here’s magic however, it was... unpleasant? No, that’s putting it very lightly. He is leaking magic unknowingly to you and others, almost corrosive to ones well being. You and the other elements have been unaware of this right?” She asked with an inquisitive look upon her muzzle.

What does that mean?

“Okay, okay.... I’ll.... I’ll try to convince him it’s for the best, but please find another way princess he’s already been through enough and walking around with something as shameful as a collar is not going to help”

What has he been through?

“Do not fret my little pony, things will work out in due time. Help Joe find peace here and show him the wonders of Equestria and the kindness of it’s ponies. I’m sure he will cheer up” She finished her sentence while fading away into a wistful smoke leaving Twilight alone with her thoughts.

Is she dreaming?

I glance at object in Spikes hand then back to him. “What the fuck does a collar have to do with me having magic?” Why does he have a collar? “Spike I don’t care about your weird sex ideas with Rarity, now do I have magic or not?”

We need a comedy tag after that.

Sorry about the long comment, this usually happens when I read a long chapters.

Alright this is a lot to unpack but, I really appreciate the comment, must have taken you a while so I’ll try my best to answer it! I’m going to label each questions you give numerically to make this easier to follow.
1. I didn’t do a good job really separating the intro from really being a prologue and that’s on me, what I visioned the prologue to be is his day of transition to Equestria from Earth. I still did end up explaining however the cast and my version of Equestria while giving the setting as well so it’s really not all that different. What I should have said was, “if anyone wants a chapter on his arrival, I’d be willing to do that”
2. Not exactly however this takes place somewhere around season 2 when I stopped watching. They’re going to be some things that don’t add up and that’s my memory failing me so if anything doesn’t add up to the actual show take it as this is a unique universe with a few changes. Twilight isn’t an alicorn however is likely well known in town as a figure to seek guidance from. It’s really just the main characters opinion in the long run based on what he already knows.
3. Yes, lol like I said I quickly run over these chapters on my phone in bed at roughly 1-4 am. There’s going to be some sentences I miss that sound weird. I’ll look into rewording that line.
4. Yes, it’ll mainly be the reason for the narcotics tag
5. You low key roasted me but, I deserve it :( hopefully as I write some more, I’ll get better with my descriptions
6. Very briefly, I mention him when speaking on the town being full of ponies besides one dragon.
7. No he’s slightly shorter, I described it has the ponies were at his lower chest while spike was around his waist, I feel like I should add a line around there to compare him to ponies.
8. In the show? Fuck if I know, that was like 9 years ago for me feels like. Also our main character leaves out a lot of details on the interior and that’s on me. Also I didn’t describe how the library’s living quarters is a dining room and kitchen all in one room, another set of stairs leads to the bedrooms. I will fix this as I really need this to be more accurate then what I wrote. Also, I’m making the interior completely up from scratch with a small relation to the show, as you read more you’ll realize I will be doing this for a lot of settings.
9. He’s being sarcastic
10. The main character doesn’t explain this as he doesn’t like getting all sappy. I’d rather it show through actions in the story on how she understands him the most just based on how well he gets along with everyone
11. Yea, scenes without our character will be written jumping from character to character however, only ones with close relationships to the MC will be sometimes in first person, we won’t know the thoughts of characters like Celestia.
12. Maybe? I’m coming up with this as I go. I have a few scenes in my head I want played out and a general plot oh what occurs but getting there is the challenge.
13. How he gets to the point where he’s at currently, writing in the journal
14. No he uses PG as a way to describe ponies as very innocent, they are not as strong minded or inappropriate as humans and you will see how in future chapters.
15. No missed that, thank you!
16. For real twilight what the fuck! Can u believe her? I wanted to show that Twilight is very curious when it comes to magic even to a point of checking things that seem like they already have an answer.
17. Her penis, nah magic, she confirms it with the next sentence, he can be touched by others magic without any complications
18. Worded weird, he telling twilight she’s more likely to pop a vessel trying to make something happen then something actually happening.
19. His magic consumes, it takes over others magic and sickens the one who is inflicted. If he were to let someone get attached to his magic, it would work like a virus and eventually do stuff that I can’t say without spoiling stuff. It’s pretty much a virus
20. Next chapter, lot more gets answered
21. I explain in next chapter a little, mainly to avoid unwanted ears from hearing about it’s contagious abilities. She wants to prevent panic and certain ponies can’t keep their mouths shut friend or no friend.
22. In this universe teleportation magic requires a reaction like Newton’s third law, something has to happen in order for her to arrive there and the smoke is a indicator that some sort of energy was spent to bring her there rather then just appearing suddenly.
23. Celestia originally thought his magic has been leaking out of him like radioactive waves, she doesn’t know at this point that Twilights actions are what causes his shit to start pouring out. Think of it like radiation, waves of dangerous magic
24. Well this takes place less than 2 weeks from his arrival! That’s a lot for someone to handle, being ripped away from your life and knowing you can’t go back? That’s a lot if you ask me.
25. Nah smoke teleportation shit like previous question, number 22
26. Yeaaa your right, that one good for ya? There’s definitely more coming
Alright, this cut into my writing time but, it was necessary, I hope I answered all your questions good enough and thank you for taking your time to read this, I’ll make some changes right after I post this reply. Expect the next chapter to be somewhere around 5-10 k, I’d like to be consistently above 5k at least per chapter

Wow, I need to watch how I comment. That was a lot, and I’m the one that commented it.

“When we, when I tried to draw out your magic, I felt something blocking me s-so I j-just, you know, forced it out of the w-way... I didn’t know it was holding your magic back! I swear!” Her eyes meeting mine now, wide with fear. She knows she fucked up, I know she fucked up, why wouldn’t she just stop when there’s something stopping her or even ask me for permission first?

Did this happen when he was a sleep?

She shakes her head no, “the elements and princesses seem unfazed by its affects, not sure why but, your okay not wearing it when it’s just me or the others around”

It’s because of the elements of harmony, isn’t it?

“Dragons are generally magic resistant so he should be fine however, if he tells Rarity because you know he tells her everything, she will tell the whole town! Listen, I love Rarity, she’s a great friend, buts she’s a terrible gossiper”

If she’s telling everyone, then she’s not a terrible gossiper. It means she’s too good at it.

I look back at the collar, he’s going to ask why I’m not wearing it if it’s for my safety so shits pretty much on always no matter what huh.

What does he mean by that?

Personally I prefer the moon and the stars but, ever so often you need some sunshine to give you energy otherwise your crusin for a brusin when your missing out on that sweet vitamin D, emphasis on the D.

Was that a sex joke?

She’s taken aback from my outburst as her usually pranks never get me this riled up, at least not this quick. Her ears go flat against her head and as she runs her forleg with her other hoof. “Sorry, I just wanted to get you back for the other day..”

What happened the other day?

“Well I can’t imagine you’ll do anything like that for me seeing how your gay and all”

Rainbows face turns beat red as she punches my arm. “I’m not gay! Stop saying that!” That one seems to always get her. I laugh to myself pleased with my success at making her lose her cool.

Yea, she’s technically a lesbian.

She looks at me with disbelief, “Um, you know the city of Prance?”

Ohh, I see what you did there.

“Whatever, do they got got chocolate chip cookie dough?” If you don’t think that’s the best ice cream than you need a new tongue.

Anything with cookie in it, I’m probably eating.

This new popularity I have causes me to always be on guard, trying not to give any misinterpreted actions or any mistake that could cause me difficulty fitting in.

What misinterpreted actions can he make?

“Ow... jeez okay okay” I use my off hand to motion settle down, if your confused on what I mean by that, imagine I’m pushing something down with a flat hand away from me.

Still can’t imagine it, but I’ll try.

My words clearly seem to hit home as Rainbow refrains from any snarky comment and instead settles for holding out her hoof toward me.

Ah yes, nonverbal communication. I meet Rainbows hoof with my clenched fist, a ‘hoofbump’ if you will.

Oh, I thought it was a high five at first.

Not only does that make no sense seeing how humans and ponies are completely different species but, wow he’s incredibly stereotypical, like incredibly similar to any racist farmer troupe.

I didn’t know that was a troupe.

Now I said before, most of the ponies I’ve met have been wonderful however, every society still seems to have its heros no matter where you go. I try to ignore the other stares from ponies as I hustle back, it begins to make me very uncomfortable without a distraction.


Oh I remember! Feeling suspiciously well suddenly! “That reminds me, I’ve actually been feeling really good lately, I haven’t even had trouble sleeping. Plus today I was full of energy after a little nap, like more than normal” I say starting with a tone of excitement only to develop into confusion. The realization starting to sink in, maybe this isn’t a good thing, especially coming right after my incident. “Do you think I should be worried or something? Just seems kinda weird after... you know”

Maybe his depression got transferred to someone.

I looked to Twi, her face in a frown but distracted from her previous thoughts. Well that wasn’t cheerful at all what the fuck am I doing? “I’ve never told anyone that before, that I’m scared of being alone. I didn’t mean to make you more sad Twilight but know that since I’ve been here I haven’t felt that fear at all. You girls have been more than helpful, and I feel like I should do something in return”

Then why was he still depressed?

RD picked my favorite ice cream

Alright alright Let’s tackle this again the same way as before and thanks again for reading this.
1. No, same time as the incident just Twilights perspective a little
2. Yep
3. Fuck your right, will change
4. If spike sees him not wearing it and it’s for his safety, he likely will suspect something else is up or that it’s not actually for his safety
5. Perhaps
6. Not important but I can add something the next time our human meets rainbow to hint toward what he did just for you Pete
7. Is she really? Is that confirmed? I don’t know much about the show now
8. Terrible pun
9. Agreeable
10. Idk look scary? Think of people that have prejudice views and imagine he’s almost seen like a monster currently, so anything he might do could be taken in the worst way possible, like him approaching a filly to help tie her shoe might first come off like he’s gonna eat her or something stupid. Ponies are naturally herbivores so they are easily startled
11. I try, trust me I try
12. Never seen a racist hick in a movie?
13. Sarcasm
14. I can’t answer this question without spoiling
15. He’s grateful for their friendship however, there’s more he’s holding back. That was him revealing something about himself that he wouldn’t normally and maybe in the future we will discover the rest of his problems (wink)
I hate to fill the whole chat up with my response so sorry for that, hope I was able to answer your questions and thanks for pointing out that slip up.

2nd fav, can’t go wrong

Thanks for answering my questions. I can’t believe you responded to them.

Lol why wouldn’t I? You took the time to read and ask questions, I should take the time to answer them! :twilightsmile:

I do have one more question. That thing that she was drawing out of him. Was that his magic or what was it something blocking his magic?

Twilight wanted to draw out his magic assuming he had some however once she attempted to there was something unusual. That’s where the blocking part comes into play, although we don’t know what it is that blocks his magic from coming out, Twilight removes it to get to his magic and in doing so has removed the only thing keeping it back. It’s pouring out of him now

Also I’m calling it for tonight’s session, currently at 2,100 words and I feel like I just started the chapter lol

I get dressed and head down the hall toward the dining room to see some waffles and cinnamon rolls wrapped up in a saran wrap type cover. I fucking love cinnamon rolls, I’ll have to thank Spike or Twilight whoever left this for me later.

That’s literally what I had for breakfast this morning.

“Sorry, I just don’t like to complain” By now I feel normal for being awake this long, my fatigue becoming a fleeting thought. What changed to make me lose all that energy I had?

Is it that stuff in his body?

This gets her to turn that frown upside down and giggle, “It wouldn’t make sense to go to the doctor every night just to get your sleep now wouldn’t it? Plus the medication ponies use is magic concealed in tablets, it’s the same thing as going to the doctor and getting a spell treatment” enjoying teaching her lesson as she speaks.


Holy shit Spikes strong if he can lift all of those on his own, the few I got are heavy as hell

Well, he does have more experience.

After a few minutes of helping Spike I wave my goodbyes to the treehouse fellowship and began my journey just like Frodo with a single step however, mine takes place in a much kinder world without the one ring. Yes that’s a lord of the rings reference, and yes Sam was the true hero.

If he knows about lord of the right, then that would mean he’s from the same as us, right?

I start my walk through ponyville before quickly noticing the increased frequency of stares pointed my way. The fuck is going o- oh yeah the collar. My face turns a shade of crimson as I look down, speeding up my walk. This fucking blows, like really fucking blows. I feel sick, and I really don’t want to be outside much longer. A few ponies snicker and laugh, whispering something while looking my way. I even received a few whistles, pervy mares.

Just ignore it and go about your business.

One thing that separates my world from this is the complete flip of gender stereotypes. While mares don’t like things males like, they have completely flipped ideology of social norms. In this world, mares outnumber stallions somewhere around 6 to 1, and mares are seen as the more dominant partner in relationships, more often seen as the one to pay for dinner or to pop the question. They are also a lot more horny too, which I find disturbing given my current circumstance right now. I would enjoy being the one courted though in a relationship, that sounds way less work.


Well I made it, that’s something to be proud about. I pull a little at my collar to give myself some comfort, making it looser as well so now it rest around the bottom of my neck like a short necklace. It was getting a little stuffy plus why was I wearing it tight before, it’s not like I’m going to choke myself to death like some dumb animal. A few snickers come from a few booths over as two mates giggle while pointing my way, shame immediately filling me up like a full glass right to the brim only I’m not sure what it would look like if I spilled over, maybe tears?

Just act a little hostile.

What? I never told her that I speak English, actually I never had to seeing how all these ponies already spoke the same language I did. Twilight told me whatever their language was but I can’t think of it’s name right now, all I can think about is how the fuck she knows about English?!?

It’s pinkie pie, just go with it.

My confusion clearly enough evidence to know my next words before Pinkie beats me to the punch. “I know lots of things I can’t tell you about! You’ll have to earn my secrets another way than just asking” she finishes while winking at me.


“I suggested to Twilight that I could help each of her friends for making my adjustment here easier so I’m here today to ask if I could help you with anything, if that’s okay?”

Pinkie smiles, “Twilights friends are YOUR friends too! That includes me, so let’s get that straight Mr. hooman!”

I like how she corrected him.

“Of course I didn’t! It rhymes with low, flow, row, toe, yo-“

How does Joey rhyme with any of those?

I cover her muzzle with my hand, her tongue sticking out the side. “Okay I get it Pinkster, no need to go rap god on me” I remove my hand from her muzzle.

He has to be from our world, right?

I laugh, “HA, I’m kidding Pinkie, it’s cause of some accident the other night when Twilight was testing to see if I have magic. I gott-“

When he says the other day does he mean two days ago?

“Alliteration isn’t always an answer Joey”

What does that mean?

“Sometimes saying something silly so... ah shit” I concede Pinkie the win, maybe next time.

Was they playing a game?

“Thanks, I’m just not used to all this.... attention. Plus I’m not very good with talking too much, takes a lot out of me”


“Okie dokie Joey, but if things get to be too much I won’t blame you for heading out” She says with a concerned smile.

What does that look like?

“Well it’s just like a promise! Buuttt, I can’t break it no matter what! That includes you too if we had, no matter what” She stomps her hoof into the ground as she finishes her statement. No matter what? That sounds useful, maybe I can tell her about why I’m really wearing this.

Smart. Pinkie promises could come in handy.

The job doesn’t take long as we finish Pinkies last task with the sun still up but, nearing the horizon. “Thanks Joey! You were a huge help!” Pinkie jumps up forcing me to catch her as she hugs me. She jumps off of me smiling brightly “You smell really nice!”

My face becomes flushed with crimson, “Pinkie thats an awfully awkward thing to say” I say facing her.

Depends on who it is.

She giggles, “Well it’s true! Not my fault for noticing!” She jokes. “It’s lavender right?”

I entertain her question, “Yea, it’s the only scent Twilight owns so...”

So, he’s wearing perfume.

We continue our walk back to Sugar Cube Corner walking past the same ice cream cart from yesterday, it’s owner looking much rougher than the previous day. His mane unkept with bags under his eyes yet he continued onward with his work.

Yikes, looks like somepony had a tough night

I called it.

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye” As she motions her hoof to cross against her chest in an x followed by placing her hoof directly over her eye.

Isn’t she supposed to flap her hooves?

Her English clearly old fashioned however, bits and pieces seemed to be poking through of a more modern version of speaking. She seems to be adjusting to modern English if I was to guess but why?

Maybe to fit in?

“I guess... I should say my name first” I hesitantly state. “My names Joe, Joe Marshall, you can call me Joey and... well you know I’m a human” I place my hand to my chest while giving a nervous smile. I sit there for a few seconds thinking of what to say next.

Wait, which one is his real name and which one is his nickname?

Oh god this is awkward, please just ask me a question

The large pony almost as if she could read my mind breaks the silence. “Tell us about this Earth my sister speaks of, it intrigues us”

Can she hear his thoughts?

“Yea, sentient” Really proved the intelligence of humans there didn’t we. “Anyway, humans cover most of the planet and we have different races too, just like how there are different types of ponies”

No, he proved the intelligence of himself.

‘Joey, I know your going to be be late given that your helping Pinkie, she’s likely going to try and keep you all day and night. Don’t be mad at her she’s just a little possessive... and touchy, it’s how she copes with things. She’s been really busy lately helping around town with preparations for the running with leaves so she probably needs a recharge and your the perfect candidate! Anyway thank you and help yourself to leftover dinner in the fridge. Signed Twilight’

Wow, she knows pinkie well.

Pete! Toooo much my friend, but I’ll try to comment on what ya gotta say
1. Yep I totally knew that
2. Yea it’s his magic, even though it comes out of him forcibly, it’s still within him just not as potent when it’s constantly released.
5. Yep! Same Earth
7. In this universe yes
8. Not his personality, very insecure
12. His names legally Joe, Joeys his nickname
15-16. Alliteration is the occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words. It was a game
17. Yes, I myself actually struggle with public communication, while you wouldn’t be able to tell it’s rather exhausting for me to keep up with conversation. I don’t know why, maybe because I overthink? I don’t know but if I can avoid large groups or talking a lot I sure as fuck will.
18. https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0128/9515/8336/products/IMG-20191006-145437_1024x.jpg?v=1570398898
That face ^
21. I’m not going to lie, that just made me laugh out loud. No silly her shampoo and body soap is lavender lol
28. Yea, I don’t think it’s ridiculous for her to know about her close friends personal issues especially in this universe where ponies care for one another much more than humans, I know some of my close friends problems and they know mine, there’s certain things we keep to ourselves of course but things like what bothers us and makes us feel better are generally more acceptable to know about each other.

I enjoy the comments you did and for questions I didn’t know the answer or they didn’t really matter if you knew them or not I skipped. Thanks for the read as always!

So if he’s from the same earth as us, shouldn’t he know he’s in a cartoon?

My bad forgot to clarify, everything the same but My little Pony never existed. Think of it that way ;)

Ok, got it. I’ll be sure to try and make my comments shorter.

More. Maybe have a chapter with Joey at the worst?

At the worst? Well currently he’s just kinda going through the motions but I got something planned to happen and I don’t like making it occur so suddenly, I want to slowly build to it, maybe even rise things up to bring them down harder in the future. Trust me, we got some sad boy times ahead

“Hey Joey, you sleeping? I’m coming in” It’s Twilights voice clearly as she opens the door after a few seconds, stepping into the room. Well my bet hit, where’s my money punk? Yea I’m talking to you reader, cough it up.

I don’t remember betting, but if I did I would have bet twilight, too.

Hmm, she’s probably right but, still it pisses me off she’d set me up like that. I look to Twilights face to see her in anticipation to my response and also.... embarrassment? I look to see the situation we find ourselves in, me in my pajamas over the unicorn as she’s pinned under the covers beneath. My face reaches a similar color as Twilights, I sit back allowing her to get up. We both look away from each other in silence.

I’m so stupid to not have realized what that looked like until now.

“Nothing big, also I couldn’t sleep last night like before, to be honest I think it’s the collar, ever since I put it on I started feeling shitty again. Does that make sense at all?”

Actually, it makes a lot of sense.

“Well it’s likely the magic within you is the reason you feel so sick, and wearing that collar keeps it all bottled up. We should find a way to safely release your magic in case it becomes too much”

I may have figured out how his magic works.

How am I supposed to live like this? I’m going to be a ticking time bomb if a don’t blow my magic load every so often or else who the fuck knows what happens!

I have a dirty mind.

“Nothing right now but you are a different species so maybe you’ll be fine? The only other pony to suffer with this type of magic was just that, a pony” She says while shrugging her shoulders.

There were others with the same magic?

“Rare?! You can’t call her that! She’s a sophisticated mare, she deserves more respect!” Spike clearly getting angry.

If that’s how rarity thinks of herself as well, then she needs to get off her high HORSE. (I’m bad at jokes.)

This stops him for a second, before he jumps off the table and faces me. “Your not allowed to call her rare or hit on her or do anything that you know I won’t like!” He puffs out his chest with his stubby arms crossed.

What’s the worst spike can do?

“HEYA YA FREAK! YA OUGHTA LIVE IN THE EVERFREE WERE YA BALONG” He bellows toward me, standing some 20 feet away. His yells draw attention toward himself and then to his focus. I feel myself grow small as a large majority of the ponies around find themselves looking at me, some with pity due to his insult, few with agreement of the hick, and the rest not sure what to make of the situation. I know what to make of it as I start to feel sick, wanting to be anywhere but where I am now. Me and Spike hurry our pace away from the ponies, his yelling still audible, “YER A MONSTER! JUS LOOK AT YERSELF!”

Just punch him once, I promise he’ll leave you alone, or use spike as a flamethrower.

“Fucking prick is what he is, I’m sick of this attention, I’m sick of the fucking collar, and I’m FUCKING SICK OF FEELING SICK!” I let my anger get the best of me completely losing my composure. My outburst draws a few looks from around but the reaction that impacts me is Spikes, fear ridden across his features of such anger from me. It’s the first time I’ve lost myself here, also first time anypony has seen it as well. Spike turns his head away from me, his mood changed to a timid version of before.

Ok, so twilight was right, if he doesn’t release his magic it builds up, and based on what I’m seeing leaks out of him.

Before she can pour mine I stop her, “I’m sorry I don’t like tea, could you get me some water?” She nods and takes my cup to the kitchen pouring me a glass before coming back and setting it down on the table between us. I guess she isn’t so shy when she sees someone struggling, what a nice gal.

Fluttershy is definitely that grandmother that would bake you some chocolate chip cookies.

“Joey?” I stop just before the entrance still not looking her way. “I meant what I said earlier, you don’t owe us anything. Me and the girls are here for you and your our friend, we care about you” Her last words hitting home. If I stayed and talked I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from breaking down, today’s earlier fuck ups evidence of my fragile state.

“I’ll remember that Shy.... and thanks-“ I turn toward her closing my eyes to hide the tears brimming in my eyes, “-for p-putting up with me” and I give my best smile.

Aw man, I wish he would have stayed to talk to fluttershy.

I chuckle thinking of my return fire, the same attack that landed me my tackle the day after the incident. I had the help of Pinkie Pie who was kind enough to lend me some party steamers, balloons, and some colorful lettering for me to spell out the punchline. I’d left the trap in Twilights library after close one night and invited her over for a “gift” to show my appreciation. Her face was priceless as the words just below the ceiling hanging on a beam read ‘proud you came out!’ with me standing just below blowing my party horn, hands raised to the sky. I rub my upper arm thinking back to how much of a beating she put on it after.

That’s messed up, but funny at the same time.

She loses it now bawling as she leaps into my side crying. This is like the third time I’ve made this innocent pony cry, she didn’t do anything wrong this time!


“I’m really sorry Twi, I really really am” I say just above a whisper. “If somethings really wrong... I promise I’ll tell you” She looks up from my side to face me.

Something tells me he’s gonna break that promise.

‘In payment of the damages done upon the endangered human, he is hereby granted citizenship in Equestria and given the deed of one property along the outskirts of Ponyville, just along the Everfree. Included with these gifts, a steady payment of 700 bits per month shall also be provided’

What damages?

Also, the comment is a lot shorter believe it or not.

Lmao love your comment,
The magic load was meant to be dirty for you dirty boys and gals out there
Spike as a flamethrower is genius!
Fluttershy is that grandma, also I wanted the man to stay as well but he was cracking like an egg. That pony would have the tears flowing out of him if he didn’t bail, but we will get more shy later....
I don’t think it was actually the third time, our boy Joey was guessing
Damages were inflicted on him, he’s a leaky boy now cuz of Twi
It is shorter lol, thanks for reading Pete! Your this stories mvf, most valuable follower

Also I wanna add I’m really glad people seem to be enjoying this generally, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing yet it’s apparently okay

So far I'm really digging this. Keep up the good work! Can't wait to see how this story evolves.

Thank you and so far you are doing good. Although, it would be a good idea to plan what you are doing.

We’re going to need all the help we can get cause this home I’ve been gifted is, as you say, abandoned. Twi later in the night showed me a part of the letter that stated the last time it had residents living within was around a year and a half ago, its location being undesirable for ponies afraid of the Everfree. I however, don’t care if it’s near or even in the forest, I’m just grateful for having my own place now!

Who used to live there? Because, I’ve seen too many horror movies.

“Well I thought ahead! I managed to get a hold of Rainbow this morning before you woke up and had her scout out the place. You’ll love to hear this, Fluttershy is your neighbor! Well sort of, your homes are a small walk away from each other but she’s the closest to you!” Twilight says with a smile, her tail swooshing back and forth.

Does that count as neighbors?

heh, she’s like a dog

Throw a stick, see if she goes for it.

Spike smiles a bit, turning to me saying, “Hope you like animals though, Fluttershy loves to help animals out. Even bears...” His obvious attempt to worry me doesn’t work. Okay I’m lying, I’m terrified of bears, those things are built to destroy and even if this joyful ass world seems to defy all logic I’m not taking my chances.

When your in a different world, you gotta be cautious.

“He knows that Fluttershy can talk to animals right? He’s in no danger”

“Eh, some things are better left unsaid” He shrugs. Twi giggles at this yet she still feels obligated to tell me about Fluttershy’s unique ability.

Hasn’t he only encountered her twice?

“That’s great, we got a whole crew!” Some good news for once. “So what are we waiting for?”

Enjoy it while it last.

“Jeez, what happened to you tomb raider?” My use of an Earth reference goes straight over everyponys head.

How do they not know what a tomb raider is?

I should mention that while I use cuss words with large leeway around these ponies, they can usually make a assumption and figure out what they mean but for the word fuck I had to do some teaching.

I wish we had a chapter on that.

My use of the word or really the way all humans use it is really in any place, fuck this or that fucking rules or like I said yesterday, you fuck? Twilight, Spike and most of the others found my constant use of the word embarrassing at first after I explained its meaning, after awhile though they seemed to just ignore it.

I don’t remember him saying that.

“No, not at all. I actually don’t really like being around even one pers- pony that much either” Rainbows ears go against her head.

“Oh...” her stature deflates.

Aww, poor dashie.

“I like being around you girls though, and Spike. I don’t know why but, it’s different. Plus your a really good friend Rainbow, your lots of fun and you get my jokes” Saying this out loud is slightly embarrassing for me, talking all sappy makes my face heat up a bit.

Rainbows ears peek back up along with her figure, “Of course I-... I mean *ahem*” She looks away with a blush. “Thanks Joey, that’s pretty cool you think that”

Jesus Christ, just kiss already.

“Well *cough* beside all of the dust, dead animals, *cough* dirty windows, and rough paint job I’d say this is great” I wave my hand in front of my face battling against the spiderwebs and floating dust. “Dash *cough* open every window you can find please god”

Burn that thing to the damn ground.

I stick my upper half out the front window, “Hey your just in time, we need reinforcements in here!” I yell out to them waving my arm in a, come hither motion.

Yea, your gonna need help burning it.

“Holy shit! What happened!” My eyes frantically pace from face to face. That’s when I notice that I’m the only one freaking out drawing a confused look from me. “What are you guys doing? She just passed out, she could be having a stroke or something I don’t know? Why are you all so calm?”

Twilights the first to speak up, “She’s okay Joey, she passes out of fright all the time, as long as she didn’t bump her head she’ll be okay” Spike nods in agreement.

“Yea.. she’s been like this since as long as I can remember, even filly school. She always come to right away” Dash says walking over to my side.

This is one of the situations where you friends are tired of your bullsh*t.

Her serious tone makes me reconsider. “I.. I’m not” I pause thinking of the right words to say how I feel. “Twilight and Spike are wonderful roommates, so wonderful that I actually like their company but, I shouldn’t be around the library that much plus this collar has issues I haven’t told you” I need to come clean.

I’m honestly surprised he didn’t tell her before.

“Your a goofball. Anyway this collar isn’t to protect me” She looks in confusion.

Technically, it is, isn’t it?

“Because apparently I’m dangerous. I’m leaking dangerous magic that harms ponies that aren’t either one of the princesses or one of the elements. I can cause depression and other terrible things that are out of my control but, if I don’t take the collar off every so often it builds up and I can’t control myself from having a panic attack or at least that’s what I think happens”

So the color protects him, it’s just not it’s main function.

About 30 mins go by before I realize I forgot to take that medication, if my apparent awareness didn’t already give that away. The pony laying into me makes me unable to move, it’s not the worst situation to be in honestly. Deep inside me this is rather soothing, it’s almost healing to previous damages done to my heart from failed relationships. Although Twilight isn’t a lover or anything, it just feels like I’m not as empty, I feel... love. It’s a forgotten feeling, being loved that is, almost foreign but I can still recognize it. I’ve missed this.

This seems interesting.

My head remains active for what feels like hours, memories of my past coming and going, some good some bad, well mostly bad. Finally I find myself where I always do, wishing things worked out and that life was easier. It hurts my heart, making me feel ill as a tear runs down my face. My last relationship I tried so hard, I had done everything to make things work but in the end I knew it wasn’t going to work out and it wasn’t good for me. Now I’m afraid of trusting anyone that close again, her failure to hold her promises hurt me terribly so.

I remember you saying something about a prologue, is that still in the works or is there going to be a flashback or maybe a filler chapter?

I go back into my room and pack up all of my clothing and things that were carried over with me. I was wearing my backpack when I was brought here, it’s contents were mainly school books and folders however, my phone was in there as well. It’s battery dead now and the service here was of course nonexistent so it’s purpose was really nothing at this point beside the few songs I had downloaded on there. Music wasn’t something I really cared about that much anyway so my phone is pretty much collecting dust at this point.

So he was either in school, on his way to school, or leaving school when he came to equestria.

I look at the clock and see it’s 10 am, rather early for this bird. I leave my stuff packed in my room and head downstairs, it’s dead silent. Spike isn’t up yet, it must be the weekend.

How does he know it’s a weekend?

I go outside for a moment to check the mailbox, probably the last time I’ll ever get mail for Twilight so why not. It’s the newspaper and a few bills that are labeled with Twilights name, nothing sticks out.

They have bills?

“Joey... you need to read this” Her face covered in worry. My heart sinks, what could possibly make her react like that? I walk over grabbing the paper from her hand, reading the headline.

‘Foreign Stallion found dead! First pony suicide in over 8 years’

My body fills with chills as I look to the image, it’s the same unicorn I met with Dash.

I think I’m starting to understand his magic. Also, only 8 years? Celestia must not be doing her job or something.

This chapter felt sloppy, I didn’t really like it looking back. I’ll answer your questions in order like normal,
5. He has met her a handful of times, it’s a stupid question by Twilight
16. Yes it is, it just doesn’t worry about himself enough to mention that
19. I said I would if you wanted one, it seems like I should given how many questions are caused by lack of background
21. Spoke would be up early if the library was open, it seems stoopid but it’s closed during weekends
22. Yea, there’s still rent and shit even in Equestrian, that’s why Joey is compensated with 800 bits a month

I love your notes, always get a laugh out of me! Also Celestia needs to step her game up for real right? Best thing you said tho was them all being fed up with Fluttershy passing out all the damn time. :rainbowlaugh:

Thanks for reading Pete! I’ll make a prologue along with the next chapter so you don’t feel cheated, just might take longer than usual but, ya never know I keep breaking my own rules on when I’m supposed to take nights off

The funny thing is that the comments just come from the top of my head, glad you enjoy them.

Hope to see it.

‘Foreign Stallion found dead! First pony suicide in over 8 years’

Uh oh

Hey you did this! Nah I’m playing, also been super busy so only have like 75% of the prologue done. The new chapter with it as well is going to be a very important ass chapter so I’m taking my time with it once I get going.

I would never. Or would I?

I look out the window at the campus grounds, fond memories come boiling up, time spent with someone close that I used to know, memories that would fill me with warmth once, now leave a different feeling of emptiness.

Who is he talking about?

I often contemplate switching to another school just for a fresh scenery, a change to help me move on yet here I still remain. Change can be a difficult thing and I know it’s often for the better but I simply cannot deal with the challenges it brings as of now. It’s a habit of mine, pushing problems away to deal with in the future, been so for 21 years.

Welp, he’s in for a big surprise.

I reach awkwardly around the room feeling for a wall, expecting to have reached at least the sink by now. As I lean over to touch where it was before, I fall having assumed there would be a ledge. Surprisingly as I lay on the disgusting bathroom floor I realize something strange. It’s not the same tile floor that I was standing on before rather it’s some sort of slippery surface, perhaps wood? I knock on the floor expecting a certain sound of tile only to hear an echoing thud, one you would get with a wooden object. My confusion grows, as I stand up noticing a certain creaking noise with each step, something that wasn’t there before.

Where is he?

A muffled sound from below startles me, it’s someone speaking. I get back down placing my ear to the floor listening. I still can’t make it out however the voices appear to be getting louder.

Who’s that?

I look up, shifting my head so that I can see who asked that question, my eyes still blurry from the added light. As my eyes adjust I see something that brings me to chills. It’s a large colorful horse, it’s facial features staggeringly different from what I’m familiar with. It stands on four legs with large colorful eyes, and... wearing a cowboy hat?

Damn, my man was just tryna take a piss and got isekai’d.

The horse seems to notice my change of behavior taking a step back. “Take a breath, your the one speaking Ponish. I should be askin’ you the same question seein’ how you done fell from... well nowhere”

Yup, definitely isekai’d.

“Well if this isn’t the strangest than I must be on a different planet cause this is the damndest thing I’ve ever heard of or experienced” I still remain on the floor as I speak, my back against the tree, my arms around my legs. “So where am I exactly? And what are you?”

“Well yur in Equestria of course an ima pony, names AppleJack” Pointing toward herself with her hat.

Aw man, if he got isekai’d he must’ve died in the bathroom. Damn, one of the worst ways to go.

This is fucking weird, I think the only reason I’m not completely freaking out is because of how overwhelmed I am, my brain unable to process the situation. I realized I missed what she said her name was but I feel like it would be rude to ask her to repeat herself seeing how I’m socially a coward and all.

If you’re a different world it would make sense to ask as many questions as you can to get as much information as you can, even if it’s a name. I’m socially a coward too, but I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna get as much information as I can. And if it means being ‘rude’ and asking them to repeat themselves, then so be it.

“Did you say Equestria? Where the hell is that? Is it a country or a continent?”

She chuckled to herself, “Nah sugar cube, that’s a planet”

A planet? I thought it was a country or continent.

I try again to speak, this time finding success. “H-hi, I’m J-Joe... my names Joe” She stares at me curiously.

“Well that’s an odd name, so Joe what exactly are you?”

First off your name is much weirder

Usually you say that AFTER you hear their name.

“I’m a human, it’s umm... the species name... scientific name is homo sapien” I keep my answers rather short and quick, my focus more on observing the strange pony creature up close.

That’s good. When dealing with aliens keep the answers quick and short.

“Magic? You ha- that... that’s magic?” I rub my now healed shoulder in confirmation as she nods proudly. “That doesn’t exist where I’m from. We use technology to solve our issues, electronics, things powered by batteries or electricity” The pony seems amazed by my words scribbling frantically onto her clipboard.

Don’t give her too much information, yet.

“Magic? You ha- that... that’s magic?” I rub my now healed shoulder in confirmation as she nods proudly. “That doesn’t exist where I’m from. We use technology to solve our issues, electronics, things powered by batteries or electricity” The pony seems amazed by my words scribbling frantically onto her clipboard.

“Oh we do too, it’s just the most complicated issues we use magic”

How does that work?

The door opens revealing a large white pony, much larger than any of the others I’d seen previously. Her mane flowed sideways almost weightless, it sparkled with a rainbow like pattern however, only carried 4 shades of various teal like colors, along with a large pink streak.

I think there are only three.

Stunned by her elegance, I shake my head in order to regain my focus. “Marshall, but I’d prefer if you called me by my first name, Joe or Joey” She lights up at my response likely due to the intrigue of meeting an alien, one that you can communicate with at that.

That explains why when twilight experimented on him he used his nickname.

I gulp, now realizing the situation I’m in. A ruler of the land, the PLANET in the same room as me now! If I have anything to go off of in history, she’s more than likely brutal, egotistical, cunning and deceiving. I need to be careful with my words if I want to keep my head.

Who knows? Celestia night have a bad side to her.

“I’m incredibly sorry!” I say while lowering my head. “I didn’t know the social hierarchy of Equestria, I ask for your forgiveness” I try and give my best impression of a humble servant, squirming under the watchful eye of the matriarch. Giggles fill the room.

Ok, that’s doing too much. I’ll be damned if I’m about to do that.

Both Celestia and Twilight look to each other frowning. This doesn’t seem good. “Are you capable of any magic?” I shake my head no again, seemingly putting a weight on the Princess. “I figured as much given how I feel none coming from you. Oh dear, this is very unfortunate” My body gets chills, worry filling my gut.

Wait, I thought they could.

Bile rises to the back of my throat, as I become nauseous and lightheaded. “This is a fucking nightmare...there has to be something you can do right?” The princess shakes her head no, sadness displayed across her face. Twilight looks away, tears brimming in her eyes.

I wonder what the others reaction would have been?

This was my first day on Equestria.

There was a timeskip after this chapter, so is there going to be a filler chapter going over day two and all that?

For your censored question, they don’t know til the incident, I’m trying to keep my answer from spoiling lol

Also no to your last question, this story will have time skips occasionally

Also I forgot to to write about where he currently is in relation to the story but I think it could ruin what I have planned potentially so I’m keeping it from being added, like I said before though he is writing in a journal, each chapter he writes taking place in the present with the occasional narration which is him in the future.

Thanks for reading ;p

I don’t think you pushed the reply button so i didn’t see this until now. Also, what do you mean by that last part?

The main character isn’t currently where he is in the story, he’s in the future writing this story your reading now. I was stating that I forgot to mention this in the prologue but thinking about it more, I would prefer I didn’t as I could spoil how things turn out.

But, how will we be able to tell if he’s in the past, present, or future?

The story is mainly told in past and honestly might stay in the past the entire time. Also the story is like opening a book and being dragged into the chapter, experiencing it as if it was the present. If we have moments where things are described like me talking about the logistics of the world then we are hearing the voice of current Joey, narrating during the moment. If the story is taking place in the current time you’ll know because I’ll write saying so. To avoid confusion, just assume every chapter is the present.

So there’s going to be chapters of past, present, and future Joey?

No future, always present or past. I use the term future to explain where he currently is in relation to the chapters time line. Might catch up to him currently or might not depends on how I feel things should go

Ohh. So if/when we do catch up to him will you transition back and forth between past and current or on eve we catch up to current it’ll stay there?

not bad but I really wonder why this collar situation is as tough as it is. At this point I guess he refuses to remove the collar out of obligation, but seems everyone else has a point, just remove it when alone or with an element and put it back on later. It was easier about 3-4 chapters ago when he didnt NEED to feel so guilty. In fact Im surprised he didn't remove it just to have a single night of sleep.

Well our stupid pal Joey here has a terrible issue of hating himself to the point where he purposely seems to make things difficult. He feels like he deserves suffering, it’s the root to most of his problems

“Twilight I touched that ponies magic, I probably made him sick! I fucking killed him...” I sink to the floor with my head in my hands. “I’m a murderer, I knew better then to not wear the stupid collar but I was too selfish about being uncomfortable” My voice is barely above a whisper.

We don’t know that, yet.

“Spike I think you should go to Rarity’s today” She shoos him off away from the bathroom door.

Why can’t spike be there?

“Joey, Pinkie planned a moving out party for you today, it was supposed to be a surprise. If your not feeling well enough I cou-“

If it was supposed to be a surprise, then why tell him?

Complain, fuck up, and make everything worse for all these ponies... and now to top it all off, I go and get somepony killed

I need to see more evidence. Innocent until proven guilty.

The Princesses... Im not that important but I selfishly want to meet Luna in person. Her presence in my dream brought up so many more questions than answers.

When did he meet her in his dreams?

“Joey... if y-you’d like... um” I look back to Twi, her face still flushed as she stumbles over her words. “Y-You can lay y-your head in my lap...” Her gaze away from me. These ponies sure do like to cuddle.

Ok, I don’t care if she’s a pony, human, or whatever, if I get the opportunity to do this with a girl, I’m taking it.

“I don’t think I’ve been a good enough friend to you honestly... it’s my fault everything has gone so wrong” Twi responds. My eyes remain shut.

She’s not 100% wrong, but she’s also not 100% right.

“That’s a terrible nickname” She whispers right next to my head, her voice tickles my ear. I defend my ear with my hand.

Deal with it, purple.

“Please, if I wanted to bully you I’d do something like... kissing you” She says with a blush.

You know, all of a sudden I wouldn’t mind being bullied.

Twilight continues to scratch my head. “It’s okay to cry Joey” Her words so careful feel like the final blow to the dam holding back my emotions. I fight back not wanting her to see me at my worst. “No matter what happens, whenever you feel like you’ve fallen apart, me and the girls will be here to pick up the pieces, I promise Joey”

This right here, shows that he’s supposed to be in equestria.

I grin leaning in right next to her ear whispering, “I could rub you out” She blushes brightly pulling away. “What? I give great back massages! What were you thinking?” Grinning at her as I say this.

Me and twilight must have been thinking the same thing.

“Yes ma’am!” I salute while getting to work on the ponies back. I’ve had a little practice giving massages with my last relationship but never on a pony. I work away at her back as best I can, my efforts seemingly paying off as she coos against my hands.

Will we get more info on that relationship?

She moans a little as I work at her back, her slip up not really embarrassing but rather satisfying, knowing I’m successful with my efforts. The softness of her fur is wonderful, along with her squishy nerd body, she turns to dough in my hands. It’s somewhat fun working the kinks out of her back, also learning a little on pony anatomy on how her spine is shaped with the muscles in her back. It’s all new to me and entertaining for the moment. After a while she is barely awake, I settle for drawing shapes with her fur, its ability to somewhat hold shape allows for some fun.

Magic horses=Magic fur

Our faces are close, very close. I can feel her breath against my face, my nose almost brushing against her own. We stare into each others eyes for a moment, I feel us both closing the gap slowly. Our mouths almost touch before I move my head past her own to the side, pulling her into a hug. I’m not ready for something like that, I don’t think I ever will. Starting something the way I am now would be pulling someone into my own damnation, making them suffer with me.


“YA LIKE THAT VARMIT? I KNOW YA KILLED THAT PONY WIT YER VOODOO MAGIC. YUR LIKE THAT ZEBRA ARNT CHA?” The hick pony shouts, spit flying from his mouth as he shouts.

OMFG!!! Does he even live in ponyville?

“Easy! Your going to kill him! I know he’s an idiot but that was insane!” Some stallion with a black coat shouts at me.

WHAT!? He started it.

Another steps in tending to the unconscious pony, it’s a mare, her features somewhat familiar to the hick I had just beaten “You were the reason that pony killed himself I bet, everything was okay round here til you showed up! It’s no coincidence”


‘Locals say he seemed to have high spirits in his first day in Ponyville but others say there were signs of something going on after a few days. The stallion Crème Glacée was 28 years old, and has family back in Prance, still not knowing of the news’

Ok, this may be useful.

I get up and head back to the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. My hair is wild and unkept, a frown adorn my face surrounded by a scraggly beard, dark bags around my eyes and defeat ridden across my slumped form. I punch the mirror where my face resides cracking it, a chunk of glass falling into the sink.

I hope twilight has a spell for that.

You deserve pain for the suffering you’ve caused

Great, now his magic has a voice.

Hanging from the ceiling are balloon letters spelling out ‘we will miss you’ and ‘moving day’. Streamers hang at random from the ceiling support beams along with several balloons of different colors, shapes, and sizes. The kitchen table although small in size carried a large cake taking up most of its space, it’s color white with blue frosting spelling out ‘nice home’. I chuckle at the mild compliment looking to a pile of wrapped gifts just behind everypony near the fireplace. When I say everypony I should clarify, it’s true to Twilights word of the girls and Spike, sadly no Princess. It doesn’t bother me though as I didn’t expect a ruler of the damn world to find time for some aliens birthday.

Wait, do the badlands not exist here?

“S-since were n-neighbors now, d-don’t be afraid to a-ask for help sometimes... if you need to! Not saying that you would ever need help or anything I.. I just” I stop her with my hand.

Ok, he has one of the nicest neighbors in equestria telling him that he can come to her for help. If he doesn’t take advantage of that, and tell her everything that’s going on in that thick head of his, he just doesn’t want to be happy.

“Alright Dash we get it, you got the hots for me no need to yell it out loud. Just go take care of yourself in the bathroom and meet us when you’ve cooled off” She punches my shoulder staring at me with a death glare. The snort my joke draws from Twilight is enough to make it worth it. “Alright how about we break into that cake huh? It looks delicious!”

If she knows what that means, then he’s probably rubbed off them more than I thought.

Everypony grabs a slice and heads over to the living room talking with one another over the recent events in Ponyville or each other’s lives. Dash comes over to me as I sit there listening to Fluttershy talk about helping out her bear friend, sweat visibly leaking down my brow. “Hey” she whispers. I lean my head over to hear what she has to say.

Is he still scared of the bear?

“I heard about the fight that happened earlier, I’m not sure if the others have gotten wind of it but just know if that stallion messes with you again, just tell me and I’ll set him straight” Her voice carries an anger and threatening tone I didn’t think possible of a pony.

It wasn’t even a fight. It was a flawless victory.

The time passes as I enjoy a few glasses from a punch bowl Pinkie brought, it’s light kick telling me she spiked it, what a trouble maker.

Yup, definitely rubbed off on them.

It’s somewhere around 8 o clock where we start to play some card games or tell funny stories of our past, AppleJack, who’s name I now know told an especially interesting story on how she beat Rainbow in their last “running of the leaves” competition.

He didn’t know her name before? Didn’t she introduce herself when they first met?

I continue to open each gift noticing a recurring pattern, each one being helpful with my new home. Fluttershy got me a tool to mow my lawn and other gardening equipment, I explained to her I had no idea how to take care of a garden so she volunteered to help me out one day. Rarity, like she had said earlier did in fact make me another set of clothes, it’s colors more consistent with blacks, grays, and whites. It’ll be nice not to walk around looking so flamboyant for a change. Twilight and Spike got me a bunch of books they knew I’d like based on the genres I would be caught reading, along with a small bookshelf I can put up in my room. Rainbow got me some gym equipment, things like weights, battle rope, and a yoga mat which I had to explain I’ve never done before. Well that’s a lie but it was in high school, she promised me she would teach me some positions another time. Lastly AppleJack got me my very own Stetson, she knew I would come help sometime and had one made with Rarity’s help for when I do.

If I have to die in order to get friends like this, tell them I’m on the way.

She chuckles, “Yes, cake would be her undoing” I laugh along side her. “So what is it that bothers you so? Don’t think you could out wit me Joe, I see your game” I frown.

He thought he was safe. Nice try though.

“You were sad and confused, your sister should have looked to help you rather than banish you. I’m sorry that I can’t understand what you went through but if I could go back in time to stop what happened I would”

No, sad and confused is YOUR situation. Hers was just anger and rage.

“Luna the way you speak is fine, just do what’s comfortable... and I don’t think it was too late” She looks at me confused. “It’s never too late to save anypony” It feels cheesy as it leaves my mouth but the moon princess seems to think otherwise.

Equestria must be rubbing off on him, too.

She places a hoof on my back getting my attention. “To feel beholden is only natural, worrying about trivial things such as this will only cause thou trouble. Learn to ignore this feeling Joey, it will bring nothing but conflict. Instead, know that the ones responsible for this feeling are only responsible for the way they wish to help”

What does that mean?

She cheers before running over and hugging me on two hooves. She holds on for more than a comfortable period of time, her grip pulling tighter when I go to move away. “Just a little more, I need this” I let her hug go a little longer before she pulls away. “Thanks Joey! Now I feel all recharged!” She bounces up and down to prove her point.

I wish my phone could charge that quick.

It’s true when I say that I wouldn’t want it any other way as I needed a change in my life but the people I was forced to leave behind will bother me for sometime, maybe until I die. I had friends I promised to be there for and others that cared about me, so disappearing from their lives without a trace makes me feel guilty even if it wasn’t my fault. I just wished there was a way for me to tell them I’m okay and apologize.


Time to unpack!
6. Although wasn’t a question, I will tell you that it’s not all what it’s cracked up to be, cuddling under some covers is the real deal
21. I don’t know anything about badlands, remember I haven’t watched past season 2 and this was when the show first launched
32. I have no idea what the fuck I wrote there lmao, that’s going to be fixed pronto

I skipped a ton of questions that either have an answer in the previous chapters or is answered in the future, or isn’t important to know like Joey still being a baby about bears. Thanks for reading, I always enjoy your notes!

Laying your head on a girls lap counts as cuddling?

I may have forgot.

You’re welcome

No silly, I said laying on a girls lap isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. What people should desire for is some hugs and cuddles under blankets, that’s what’s up

Ohh. I may have misread it. Also you didn’t hit the reply button so I didn’t see this until now.

Hey I just binge read your story, and noticed that even if he's trying to say things like "everypony", he still wonders why they say that. Well, why don't you have him point that out? I'm tired of every HIE story having the human accept using that word like it's no big deal.

Is Joe a pony? NO! Is spike a pony? NO! Are all the other native races ponies? NO! For them to keep on saying "everypony" is very xenophobic!!!

Moving on, what is the first half of the word personality? Person!!! So are they saying that they don't have a personality? Now the plural word for person is people. Easy right?

Moving on, does twilight have a body? Does spike have a body? Does Joe have a body? Do all the other sapient races have bodies? If the answer is yes to all of those than I think you can use the term everyBODY!!! Also each of them is one person, so you can say everyONE!!!

Sorry for the long rant, but I'm so sick and tired of every human that comes to Equestria bend over backwards to us the stupid word that is everypony!!!

I just for once I want the human to point out how stupid and xenophobic that word is, especially for the other native races on that planet!!!

Now it would be nice if you had this human decide to explain this to them, but you don't have to. After all, it is your story. I just needed to get his off my chest after seeing something like this for the Billionth time!!!

So if you read this entire thing, thanks for taking the time to read it.


I like your story so far. And if we do end up getting romance in this story my top three choices in order of most wanted to least are,

1. Twilight
2. Pinkie
3. Rainbow Dash

Lmao he does one time refer to the word as xenophobic but not even out loud. He’s sorta a pushover sadly and that’s just the character not because I missed that issue, it bothers him but he’s too much of a baby for conflict. As for the romance I’m gotta let ya know something....

I haven’t picked a gal yet, it’s completely up for grabs still based on how this story goes. I got some events I still want to happen and an ending but how we get there is very flexible so you never know... ya just might get your wish

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