One-Shot
Sunset's POV
You want the honest truth! Ah always knew you were a rotten apple!
I should never have been so generous with you!
You took away everyone's smiles!
I showed you kindness and this is how you repay us!
Maybe our lives would have been better off without you in it!
Those thoughts continued to play in my head like a gramophone stuck on repeat, as I ran out of Sugarcube Corner in tears. In all honesty, I did not know where I was running off to, but I didn't care. As I ran, I opened up the journal that Princess Twilight gave me to keep in touch with her.
As I suspected, there was no reply from her, maybe those girls got to her before I did and she believed them. Since they were doppelgängers of her own friends back in Equestria, she would most likely believe them over me, somepony who tried to kill her. Closing the book, I realised that my final avenue had slammed itself shut.
I don't know how long I was running, but by the time I stopped, I found myself on the outskirts of Canterlot City and I was running along Canter Bridge. I looked around and the stray people lingering around were at a fair distance away and minding their own business. The bridge was also mostly empty, save for the occasional car or bike zooming past. I subtly leaned over the railing and watched the Everfree River raging hundreds of feet below me.
I took a deep breath, and sat leaning against the railing. I opened the journal one last time and wrote a final message.
Dear Princess Twilight or whoever finds this.
I wanted to thank you for knocking some sense into me. I know you wanted the girls to teach me about friendship and help me turn over a new leaf. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. You told me about how many friends you've made and all the 'bad guys' you've redeemed. I guess I wanted to make it on that list, but somepony had to break that perfect streak (Hehe). If you do see this, then I have exhausted every last option and I am at my wit's end. I have nothing else to live for, so I guess this is goodbye then.
Your friend Failed Experiment
Sunset Shimmer
With that out of the way, I lazily tossed the book to the side and then proceeded to climb onto the railing.
Applebloom POV
I was just on my way back from some errands from Granny Smith when I spotted her. I quickly hid behind a nearby tree and peeked out, just observing her. She was writing something in some journal, when she stopped, tossed it to the ground, turned, and proceeded to climb on top of the railing!
My eyes widened and I quickly dug out my phone and snapped a picture. Without wasting a moment, I darted to Sugarcube Corner, texting Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo along the way. I sent the picture of Sunset and wrote below it, "Girls... Ah think we took it too far."
Their replies were instantaneous
Scootaloo: "WHAT!!!!!"
Sweetie Belle: "OH NO! WHAT DO WE DO?!"
I frantically texted back, "Ah dunno about you two but I'm gonna confess. Ah think this has gone on long enough. Ah know ah didn't want Applejack to spend most of her time with Sunset but ah don't want her to die."
They texted back, "Agreed/Agreed!"
??? POV
Ah... Canterlot City! It's been a while, ever since I went abroad to study for three years. But now I'm back! I rode my bike and took the exit off the interstate heading to Canterlot City. Just as I approached Canter Bridge, I saw something in the distance. I slowed down, parked and had a good long look at the figure a few hundred meters ahead of me.
Wait a minute... Is that me? Okay, three theories... I have a long-lost twin sister, in which case, Mom and Dad have a lot of explaining to do. Number 2, the Multiverse Theory is real and this is me from another dimension (I've been watching too much sci-fi). Number 3, She just happens to look like me, I mean, what are the odds of there being TWO Sunset Shimmers!
Then I realised what she was doing, I hopped off and my body went into autopilot mode. I sprinted towards her, hoping that I was not too late. I screamed out, "WAIT! DON'T!"
Sunset Shimmer POV
Just as I was about to step off this mortal realm, an oddly familiar voice startled me, "WAIT! DON'T!"
The next thing I knew, somebody pulled me away off the railing and tackled me to the ground. The dam broke and I bawled hysterically, "WHY DID YOU SAVE ME! THIS IS THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE! ANON-A-MISS AND SUNSET SHIMMER THE SHE-DEMON WON'T BOTHER ANYONE AGAIN! JUST LET ME GO DIE!"
Then, my biker saviour cracked open his/her visor by a centimetre, slapped me in the face and clutched my shoulders. The figure spoke, and she screamed at me, "DON'T YOU DARE! KILLING YOURSELF IS NOT THE ANSWER! WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU TO WARRANT THIS!"
I fired back, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you!"
Then she took off her helmet and my face stared back at me, smirking "Try me..."
She continued, "Well... that's theory number 3 debunked"
"Umm... what?"
"Yeah I have no idea what's going on and why I'm talking to someone who looks just like me. So, I narrowed it down to, a) I have a long-lost twin sister, in which case, Mom and Dad have a lot of explaining to do. b) the Multiverse Theory is real and this is me from another dimension, though I'm willing to bet that I've been watching too much sci-fi."
Finally I chuckled, the first real laugh I had in a long time, "Actually, theory number 2 is closer to the truth."
Then I realised where I was and how cold it was, especially since it was close to Christmas/Hearth's Warming.
"Can we go back to some place warmer? I'll take you to where I live. It's not much, but I manage somehow."
My twin, who picked up my journal, shrugged, "Sure, I have a spare suit and helmet, suit up."
I guided her to an old decrepit shack, which I called home for the past few years. She backed off immediately, "Oh no! No way! You are not living in this dump any more, you're lucky I have an old house in the city, you're bunking at my place pronto, capisce? Come on, I'll get your things."
It didn't take long to gather my stuff because I had hardly any possessions when I ran away from Equestria. Soon, my look-alike pulled into a modest-looking house and ushered me inside. After placing me on the couch and fixing some hot cocoa for the two of us, she plonked herself next to me, "Okay, spill!"
Knowing I could trust her, I told her everything, Equestria, my little tantrum when I ran away from Princess Celestia, my Queen B phase, Princess Twilight's arrival and how she set me straight. I even spoke of the Dazzlings and that mess.
She pumped her fist, "YES! THE MULTIVERSE THEORY IS TRUE! AND MAGIC IS REAL!" *blushes* "Sorry... continue"
Finally, I got to the sleepovers and the onset of Anon-A-Miss and I even showed her the page.
She made a face, "Ughhh.... This is why I detest social media. Also, if the whole point was to be anonymous (Sorry bad pun), the idiot who created this should have done a better job. Now I barely know you, but if this really was you, you would have been far more subtle, this has the subtlety of me riding my bike through a library."
Suddenly, my phone buzzed with frantic messages.
I sighed, "Let me guess, Anon-A-Miss posted again and I'm getting fresh abuse?"
Applejack: Howdy Sunset, Ah guess ah should apologise. We found out the truth of Anon-A-Miss. It was Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, they came and confessed. It all makes sense now, Ah guess we were so hung up on trying to blame you for spilling our secrets that we never thought that the culprits were our own family. Applebloom saw you at Canter Bridge and you were about to jump, Ah hope I'm not too late, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry
Pinkie: SUNNY!!!!! I'M SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A MEANIE-MEANIEPANTS!
Rarity: Sunset... Darling, I just want you to know that I am terribly sorry for just accusing you without investigating. I truly behaved very un lady-like. Rest assured, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo will get the appropriate punishment.
Fluttershy: Umm... Sunset? I know you have every reason to hate us and I don't blame you. I should have been more kind and been there for you. I am so sorry, please don't die!
Rainbow: Sunset... out of all the girls, I feel like I owe you the biggest apology. When the girls confessed, I got mad, but when Applebloom showed the picture of you at Canter Bridge, I only felt guilty because I guess my words drove you to this drastic step. Please don't die! I'll never forgive myself if you did.
Then the journal buzzed AT LAST.
Sunset the biker looked at me with wide eyes, "Am I crazy or did that journal buzz and glow?"
I nodded, "Magic"
I picked up the journal,
"Dear Sunset, This is Spike, Twilight's Number 1 Assistant. SWEET CELESTIA! PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT TOO LATE! TWILIGHT WAS CAUGHT UP WITH SOME TIME-TRAVELING DRAMA WITH THIS MARE CALLED STARLIGHT GLIMMER (We won by the way). She's currently resting because she's really exhausted after that ordeal. But don't worry, I'm here, because I happened to notice the journal glowing while cleaning the castle. Anyway, I'm rambling... SUNSET! PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE OKAY!?"
I looked at my twin and she shrugged, "I'd answer the journal first."
I replied, "Hey Spike, don't worry, I'm alive and well, thanks to a guardian angel. The girls found out the truth, it was Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo."
His reply came immediately, "Yeesh! Another Gabby Gums eh? (long story) Anyway, I'm glad that you're okay. If you ever want to talk, Twi is always there, and so am I."
With that, I closed the journal and then replied to the girls that I'm alive. Then I realised something, what if something happened again and I became a scapegoat once more. Panic built up in my chest, and it must have shown on my face, because she looked at me, concerned.
"You okay?"
"I've been thinking, I want to give the girls a second chance, but I'm scared of getting my heart broken again. At the same time, I miss Equestria, but I'm not sure if Princess Celestia has forgiven me for my arrogance."
She shrugged again, "Only one way to find out,"
With that, she snatched the journal and pen and wrote, "Hey Spike, I've been wondering, has Princess Celestia ever spoken about me?"
Instantly, he replied, "Of course! when we first came back from your world, the first thing she asked was whether you were okay."
I teared up, she forgave me, even though I did little to deserve it.
Then I made up my mind and turned to my doppelganger, "I need you to do something for me. Are you planning to enrol into Canterlot High?"
She nodded, "Great! I was hoping that you could take my place and be friends with those girls. You don't have my history so you should be fine, though you many have to prepare for a lot of apologies. As for me, I think it's time I returned home to Equestria. Think of it this way, we both will be starting afresh."
She nodded, "I'm okay with it, but can you leave your journal with me so that we can stay in touch?"
I smiled, "Of course... pen pal"
She grinned.
Then, I called up the girls, and they bombarded me with apologies. I quickly forgave them, before laying out all my doubts and fears for the future if I stayed. Then, I explained about my doppelgänger and made them promise to treat her well.
Once that was all over, the two of us rode to CHS before I asked Spike if he knew how to operate the portal. Luckily, he did and he activated it for me. Before I could duck inside, I was buried under a five-girl glomp, led by none other than a blubbering Pinkie Pie.
She bawled out, "I'M GONNA MISS YOU SUNNY!!!!"
The other girls also gave me a tearful goodbye, before they finally notice my twin. Applejack mused, "Aw shoot! Ever since Princess Twilight told us that she had pony counterparts of us, ah always wondered where Sunset's human counterpart was. Come to think of it, ah wonder whether Princess Twilight has a human counterpart."
Pinkie pipped up, "She'll probably turn up in the next movie."
The new Sunset was puzzled, "Movie?"
We collectively said, "It's Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie, just roll with it."
Rainbow spoke up next, "Wait... I don't think anyone else aside from us knows that our sisters are Anon-A-Miss, they still think its, Sunset!"
My twin looked at me, and put on her helmet, "We'll deal with the fall out, you go!"
With that, I tumbled into the portal and crash-landed into a pile of books. Somewhere behind me, a voice groaned, "Aww man! I just organised those too!"
I quickly got up, "Sorry Spike, I'll help."
Together, we arranged the books neatly, and then I asked him to take me to Canterlot to beg Celestia for forgiveness. He tried to wave it off, saying that she already did, but I insisted on going there personally and apologising. Suffice to say, it was a heartfelt reunion between mentor and protege.
Soon, Twilight found out that I was back for good, and she apologised profusely for not being there for me. She then proceeded to give Spike a big hug for trying to help me. Later on, she introduced me to her friends, who were quite accepting.
I even met this new pony, Starlight Glimmer. Since I was still a bit new to friendship, Twilight took me and Starlight under her wing. With that, I gave a contented sigh, "I'm home and I'm starting this new life."
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I actually REALLY like this story and would love to see more if you ever decide tonwrite more about this AU
The idea of Sunset switching with the human Sunset after Anon-a-Miss isn't one that makes a whole lot of sense. Sunset rebuilding her life in the pony world isn't one that really works either, Twilight already took her place. Her friends are the girls at Canterlot High, not the Ponyville ponies. The two groups are very different, and this story felt both very rushed and didn't have a very good premise. The switching POV's is also something is despise.
All in all, the story was fine. Defiantly not a favorite.
10331849
This was just an idea that was running through my mind for a long time. Didn't really have plans for expanding beyond this
I really like this story. It's okay if you don't write more, this is great as a one-shot, though I wouldn't object to seeing more of this AU
nice work.
I like how the CMC’s realize their mistake and decided to confess of being Anon a miss, but I don’t like the way that the equestrian Sunset Shimmer is going back to Equestria and her human counterpart is staying to look after her friends after she forgives them. This is a very sad story that I should’ve not been reading before!
It's an interesting concept and I did like it, but it doesn't really have a lot of impact as just a one-shot. It went by REALLY fast. This concept in my eyes would work a lot better if it was a full fleshed-out story.
First things first. Let me say that I’m always glad to see more Anon-a-Miss fits. They are a favorite of mine. Also, there are some good ideas here I’ve never seen before. So, thank you for that.
However, I think a little criticism is always due. It helps us develop and grow. I real see only two major issues I’d like to address. The rest comes with experience.
First, the POV indications are utterly unnecessary and very distracting. At best, they’re a handicap for writers who can’t express a character’s voice when writing in the third person. Just because a professional writer or two might use them, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
They are appalling. Drop it.
Second,
This isn’t a text based RP. A character’s actions should never be described with asterisks in the narrative. Doing so breaks the flow of dialogue more than simply writing, “She blushed, ‘Sorry... continue.’”
You could use that if you want; I don’t care. The point is that asterisks do not work there.
Other than that I haven’t any major issues. I never like to see a plot go, ‘you drove me to kill myself, but said you were sorry, so I forgive you.’ That is a matter of personal taste however. Also, the pacing is a bit rushed.
I hope to see more of your work in the future.
I understand that this is a one-shot but it's incredibly rushed, the Rainbooms apologizing via text comes off as insulting and incredibly disrespectful, it's way too soon for Starlight to show up and the POV made it difficult to get into the story. Sunset's sudden departure and leaving her human counterpart to clean up the mess not only doesn't makes sense but is kind of a dick move.
Overall I liked it.
Apple Bloom taking a picture of Sunset and then taking off needs more. Maybe something about her going into a panic? I mean, who takes a picture of someone about to jump off a bridge and then runs off so they can talk to their friends about whether or not they should confess?
Sunset going home works so long as she can carve out a nitch for herself. In my opinion, Sunset was never meant to be the leader of the element bearers. Even in the EQGs world, she is not the bearer of the element of magic.
Her friends texting her on the phone instead of actually calling and racing out to the bridge... seriously should of let them stew for a while. This is also a good place for Sunset to agonize over whether she wants to forgive them. Going back to Equestria would come at the realization that the girls were never trully her freinds.
Human Sunset should seriously think about going to a different school. Why go to a school where she's going to immediately pick up all of Sunset's old baggage and hate? Heck, that's a whole new chapter right there.
Honestly it's. Nice story but too rushed. The girls feel out of character too I mean if I got a Pic of my friend about to jump the bridge I'd be calling them or something.
Still a nice story just needs to slow down lol
thumbs.gfycat.com/GentleSickBird-size_restricted.gif
DOG FREAKIN' GONE IT, PINKIE! THESE FOURTH WALLS DON'T COME CHEAP, YOU KNOW!!!
Can we get a sequel of sunset living in equestria?
Since when do you freaks care?
To Applejack: *Dom Toretto bringing the FBI be like* FBI OPEN UP!!
To Pinke: Oh shut it you pink Spinel wannabe.
To Rarity: *immitating the lAdYLikE style of "accent", no offense* Hm, yes, they will, after you asses get yours first you ingrate.
To Fluttershy: Bitch is this some sort of an underhand tactic for pity and empathy and "kINdNesS"? Well, guess what, you aren't worthy of a friend like her!
Oh wait- you never had any true friends, right? Haha-
To Rainbow Dash: Ya Sunset, stop, she's gonna cwy. (FNaF reference)
Sorry, but I felt like I had to do that. Hate this all you want, but I don't care LOL.