• Member Since 17th May, 2016
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Moonking


Praise the moon and the princess https://www.patreon.com/Battlelord

Comments ( 21 )

You my dude are my hero for making this story because I was having trouble trying to make something similar to this story. :raritystarry:

Finally the really good but the loading sucks.

honestly, i'll give this a read. i've been waiting for a brave frontier fimfiction story for a while, but i was sorta hopin to find one where the MC gained the ability to summon, not actually becoming one of the units. and fencer vargas of all people... damn. i personally ran a mono light squad (sefia, krantz, atro, regil, and segrud . at least i think it was those 5, i could be mistaken, it's been a while.) figures it would be one of the six heroes though. i'll comment again when i get around to actually reading this. (sometime soon i hope, especially if it managed to get featured)

Before reading this gotta ask will you have Vargas become Ignis Halcyon Vargas also Vargas despite not using him anymore is still one of my favorites

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in short yes, Fencer Vargas will be evolving in this story.

Who is Fencer Vargas, and where is he from?

Twenty bits for five male cores

fifty bits for ten cores

Why is it that male and female cores are worth the same amount but they wand twice as many female cores before delivering payment?

I like your story dude but you could use an editor

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If you look at the numbers, male cores are 4 bits each, and females are 5 each. This may be due to differences in attack/defence capabilities between sexes, or something else completely. 1 bit discrepancy makes quite the difference as the number go up.
20/5 = 4
50/10 = 5
This could also be a combo thing where you earn a bonus for certain milestones of cores?

Hmmmmm... This has a lot of promise, I look forward to more of it!

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Promise but some shaky grammar. Overall not bad

10190762
It wasn’t when the chapter was originally posted.

This story is a good story

Hey pretty good story can't wait for the next chapter keep up the great work

Good story, I absolutely love the main character, and the way the world is. As it's designed like a MMO. But please for the love of god, either don't type so fast cause it screws your grammar. Or just learn how to spell. I can get you making mistakes here and there, such as misspellings or just general sentence fuck-ups. Cause I do that as well. But I'm seeing mistakes almost every other sentence mate.

Love the work and keep going cause all you work is good cause you are in my top ten authors of the site

Are you going to finish this story

Comment posted by Darth_krayt deleted Apr 2nd, 2023

Great chapter, though I noticed more than a few grammatical errors. I wouldn't mind editing for you.

Why didn't you respond to my comment?

You need a proofreader and an editor. The story is good but several words are just straight up wrong, like when Twilight said she wanted Vargas asserted, you meant to say arrested. Then there are parts were it is unclear what characters are performing what actions, like when Trixie ran up to hug Vargas and Gilda, it was pretty unclear that it was Trixie until Vargas called her name.

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