• Member Since 14th Oct, 2019
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AndwhatIseeisme


I write stories mainly featuring small horses having sex with one another, and that is probably all you really need to know about me.

Comments ( 13 )

Me: After reading description “Well if this author doesn’t write a ‘stack my pancakes’ pun this I am going to downvote on general principle.

Sees chapter title :pinkiehappy:

I still think that you could have gone with ‘A Double ‘fff’ for the Fuck’ as the title. Since that pun is just perfect.

I bring up the funny more than the smutty because I admittedly was giggling too much every time one of the characters said something. I want to wish with all the hope in the world that this is how actual midwesterners sound in the bedroom.

"Well, tough tomatoes, I'm afraid," Sunny said as he got ready to mount her, "that cute little butt is just asking for a rut".

Best line :rainbowlaugh:

If I could ask for one thing I think would have worked better. Would be to cut the big explaining paragraph in the beginning before the # signs and to write out the dinner itself. For instance, have Kerfuffle invited by Petunia for a dinner and have them gently question her in their folksy midwestern style slowly nudging her to open up and ask about her sex life until she admits her problem and then have them invite her up.

I know it’d make getting to the sex take a little longer, but I think the best part of the fic is the midwesterns being causal about sex thing and more opportunity for fun wholesome-but-sexy dialogue :raritywink:

In anycase. Thanks for writing the fic. Very enjoyable!

10047202

Thanks for commenting. I'm glad you liked the dialogue, I probably would have liked to put more in myself, but a lot of the funny quirks came when I was punching it up after it was written, so I didn't really have time to rewrite the hole story or add a lot more. I might revisit these characters again some time, there really isn't enough clop written about the Hope Hollow ponies. If I do, I'll probably let the humor run a little deeper.

10047270
All the best and you're very welcome! I share your sentiment at the end totally. Kerfuffle is super adorable and I love it when people write her. :heart:

This was a great and hot read. Like how you handled Petunia Petals and Sunny Skies in thier threesome with Kerfuffle.

Me seeing wholesome Kerfuffle lewdfics:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/7/26/2101502.gif

The truth was, she hadn't been able to get off since Rarity had left after the Rainbow Festival

Well, now I want to know just what sorts of wholesome lesbian lewdness Kerfuffle got up to with Rarara at the Rainbow Festival... :rainbowwild: :trollestia:

If Hasbro really wants G5 to succeed, it should just be nine straight seasons of Kerfuffle being adorable and doing adorable things.

I'm afraid I can only give this qualified agreement. As adorable as Fuffle is, there's only so much adorableness she can provide before everyone dies of Fufflebetes. :trollestia:

Great story! I read the whole thing in there voices and it felt like I was really watching the show! Great work!!

Ps. Kerfluffle is best pony!

What's next for future stories?

Great story! Could not help but picture a human porno with the characters talking like that.:rainbowlaugh:

"Jeepers, that's a biggun!"
"Suck my cock, dontchaknow."

What episode are Petunia Petals, Mayor Sunny Skies, and Kerfuffle from?

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Their accents were done cutely. You actually did a really nice job of that, despite disparaging yourself in the description.
-"Thank's so much for dinner Mayor Skies," Kerfuffle beamed at the two newly weds -- pretty atrocious grammar for the opening line. (Wrongly placed apostrophe, needs a comma before 'Mayor', improper dialog tag, 'newlyweds' is one word.)
-to find time to breath -- breathe.
-############### / ############ -- your section breaks don't match! This is a travesty! (Not really, but still.)
-first stream firing down the back of his throat. -- oops, went down the wrong throat. Happens to the best of us.
-A bit weird that Sunny 'likes it rough'. Even if he does, wouldn't he want to take it a bit easy on a mare who'd never been with him before and hadn't talked about it before? Going all 'I like it rough, so you're getting it rough!' to someone you're having sex with for the first time -- without warning -- is what's known in sexy circles as a 'dick move'. Even if she goes along with it willingly enough ... rude!
-Very hot threesome action.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 92/100
Allure: 84/100
Enticement: 80/100
Immersion: 85/100
Prose Quality: 58/100
Total Score: 399/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

10250986
If nothing else, I can say the shotgun method of posting to this contest has been thoroughly vindicated looking at the range of scores this user has racked up. If you ever do this contest again, so help me I'm cramming it in for all its worth.

10251075
I would warn you to be careful with that approach; if you look at the publish dates of my stories, there's a definite correlation between my lowest scores and the point I decided I was going to compete with Sharaz for the most stories entered prize. That said, the most fun I had with this contest is when I was banging all those out, so take that as you will.

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