Applejack was left reeling. She had expected crying, or freezing up, or running away; what she didn’t expect was a lecture on bullies from a filly half her age. Either the girl was incredibly quick witted, or she’d had this conversation before, multiple times. How many ponies had she poured her heart out to only to be shut down and ignored?
The calming tea Fluttershy had given her didn’t seem to be working, Green had given up holding her cup when she’d begun shaking with rage.
“What happened ta ya was wrong,” Applejack consoled, “But that don’t mean ya should rush to judge new ponies. Ah’m not sayin’ ya have ta trust Spoiled, but we should at least give her a chance ta explain herself. Sometimes all it takes fer a pony ta change is ta be told how much their behavior has hurt somepony else.”
Green groaned in frustration.
“She already knows.” The filly insisted. “That’s why she did it. Bullies aren’t like other ponies, they feel the need to exert power over others to prove their self-worth. They enjoy it, it makes them feel good for a while, but no matter how much power they gain, no matter how many ponies they hurt, they will never be satisfied.”
“It sounds like those ponies aren’t very happy.”
“Being unhappy is no excuse for hurting other ponies.” She said, “If I hurt somepony, even by accident, I would feel terrible. Any decent pony would. A selfish pony might not care about others feelings, but bullies are worse. When they hurt somepony they feel good.”
Dayglow had told Applejack that fillies Green’s age might have trouble understanding that ponies could have more than one motivation for their actions.
“Can’t ya think of any other reason why a pony might say something hurtful?” Asked Applejack, “Granny once told me that there’s more fools in this world than there are villains.”
Green rolled her eyes.
“Is Spoiled unable to read social cues? Oblivious to body language? Incapable of understanding how her words might affect other ponies?” Green asked without giving her a chance to answer. “Of course not. Somepony with that type of disability wouldn’t rise to the top of a social hierarchy like a school board. She knew damn well what she was doing and she chose her words deliberately to attack Pip’s insecurities by calling him a runt. She. Is. A. Bully.”
A blast of hot air vented from Green’s nose as she stood up on the couch, the blanket falling from her flank.
Applejack almost groaned in frustration. Why couldn’t she convince Green that Equestia wasn’t some nightmare where any cruelty had to be either silently endured or brutally erased? If she gave up arguing would she be teaching Green that compromise was possible, or just confirming that her worldview was sound? And if she continued to push, would Green be left feeling that nopony would ever take her side?
“Ah’m so sorry Sweetpea,” Applejack sighed, “Ah wanted ta help ya feel better, but Ah’m just making it worse. Ah’m a terrible foster parent.”
Green stopped breathing for a moment as her whole demeanor changed.
“No!” Green said. “No, you’re really good! Please don’t feel bad because of me!”
The pivot from furious lecturing to panicked pleading seemed to come out of nowhere. Green was breathing faster, her pupils were expanding. Applejack knew what to do. Well, at least in theory.
“Sweetpea, Ah’m right here.” Said Applejack, “Ah’m not going anywhere. Yer safe. This will pass. Just do yer breathin’ exercises an’ Ah’ll still be right here when yer done.”
“I’m sorry!” Green sobbed, “I’m sorry, please don’t stop talking to me. I-I shouldn’t have been so aggressive. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad! Please don’t hate me!”
Applejack felt a pang of sympathy but at the same time a slow burning anger for the ponies that made Green this way. The farm pony could remember a time when she’d given Applebloom the silent treatment; she couldn’t remember why, no doubt some trivial thing, but she could remember the tears that had followed as her much younger sister convinced herself over the next half hour that she would be ignored forever.
As Dayglow had explained it, ponies used to live in herds, and being abandoned by your herd was a matter of life and death. Being ignored by the ponies they depended on triggered the most deeply rooted fear that every foal had; that they would be abandoned.
“Ah won’t abandon ya. Ah’m not goin’ ta stop talking to ya.” Applejack hugged the filly closer. “We can stay right here an’ talk about whatever ya like.”
“I’m sorry.” Green repeated. “I know I’m being stupid. I-”
Green trailed off - it seemed like she’d finally run out of things to say.
“Ah don’t think yer stupid.” Said Applejack. “Ya had a problem that was too big fer ya ta carry on yer own and yer asking fer help. That’s a very mature thing ta be doin’”
“That’s not what I mean,” said Green, “I said all those things about bullies and I talked over you, and now you probably think I’m crazy.”
Applejack struggled to think of what to say.
“Ah don’t think yer crazy neither.” She said.
Green had opened up to her in a new way, finally talking about how she had been hurt - so why did Applejack feel like she’d done something wrong?
The situation was backwards. All those days I’d spent laying on the couch with mom, holding her hand while she went through another panic attack - now I was the one being comforted. I was so weak. Instead of sharing my strength with others, I was sapping theirs. There were probably so many other things Applejack would rather be doing, but I was clinging to her, holding her back because I was terrified that when I let her go she’d finally realize I was a waste of her time because I’d never get better.
I felt nauseated as I realized what I was doing, and I shuddered, pulling away from AJ and rolling off the couch. She should give up on me. That way I could finally stop hurting her.
“I’m going to go lie down.” I spoke without looking at Applejack.
I climbed the stairs to my bedroom and shut the door.
Applejack could have gone to see Dayglow, but getting an appointment again so soon didn’t seem likely. Fluttershy was actually still in the house after meeting Applejack for tea but she’d suggested it would be best if Applejack spoke with Green by herself.
“How did it go?” Asked Fluttershy, “I mean, if you don’t mind talking about it.”
“It weren’t quite what Ah expected.” Said Applejack, “She’s - Ah don’t even know. She has an answer for everythin’ but it’s making her miserable.”
“Oh dear.”
“She told me more than she has before, but she’s still holding back.” Said Applejack, “And this whole Spoiled situation. If she really did say those things ta Pipsqueak somethin’ needs ta be said - but Green seems ta think Spoiled is one step away from Sombra.”
“What did she say?” Asked Fluttershy.
“Green says she called Pipsqueak a runt and refused to fix the broken playground.”
Fluttershy visibly tensed at the word ‘runt’.
“How could she say that!”
“It’s horrible,” Applejack agreed, “but Green - well she thinks Spoiled will come after her too.”
“Come after her?”
“She thinks Spoiled is gonna get her taken away unless we ‘destroy’ her first.”
“How would she -” Fluttershy began, “Oh the poor thing, she must be so frightened.”
“What can Ah do?” Asked Applejack, “Ah’m sorry ta ask, but- ya were bullied, right? How did ya move past it?”
Fluttershy took a breath and exhaled deeply, not meeting Applejack’s eyes.
“I didn’t.” Fluttershy’s shoulders slumped. “Not until- well having friends like you girls has helped, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be over it completely.”
“Ah’m so sorry Flutters,” said Applejack, “Ah didn’t think.”
“No, it’s okay,” Said Fluttershy, “I just- I’m not the right pony to ask. I moved into that cabin in Ponyville as soon as I could and hardly even spoke to other ponies for years. Well, except for Rainbow. I feel guilty sometimes that she moved to Ponyville to watch over me but she’s a loyal friend over anything else.”
Applejack remembered what Fluttershy had told her at Green’s party, about how bad the anxiety got. To the point where Rainbow was bringing her food because she would hardly get out of bed.
A lump had formed in Applejack’s throat. “So, Green then, she’s going ta-”
Applejack aborted the sentence.
“Going to end up like me?” Fluttershy asked.
“Ah didn’t say that.” Applejack countered, “It’s just... Ah don’t want her ta have ta go through all that.”
“I hope not,” said Fluttershy, “It sounds like she’s still ready to stand up for herself, at least a little.”
“So what would ya do if you were looking after Green?” Applejack asked.
“I couldn’t.” Said Fluttershy, “I’d ruin her. I’d keep her safe, and we’d stay home drinking tea and helping animals, and I’d never force her to do anything she found scary and, well, she’d end up just like... me.”
Applejack didn’t know what to say, so she embraced Fluttershy in a hug.
Applejack found Twilight in her crystal library and after a short explanation found herself sitting with Twilight in one of the castle’s many sitting rooms. Green may want to go straight to Luna with her problems, but Applejack knew a princess who was closer by, who could hopefully deal with the situation with less overkill.
“Twilight, what do ya know about bullies?” Applejack asked.
“Oh no,” said Twilight, “Is Green being bullied at school?”
“Well, yes, but that’s not really what this is about,” said Applejack, “Ah was having a talk with Green and it sounds like she had a really bad experience with bullies, an’ now - well frankly Ah don’t know how ta talk ta her about it. She’s read some books or somethin’ an’ now she’s got herself convinced that bullies are irredeemable and Ah can’t talk her out of it.”
Twilight’s ears drooped “Oh, that’s... If she was coming to you with it then I’m not sure that’s what she was asking for.”
“What do ya mean?” Asked Applejack.
“I’m not a parent,” said Twilight, “Obviously, but I have read some books about it, and even just as a friendship thing, if a friend is telling you how mean somepony was to them they probably don’t want to be told that they’re overreacting.”
“Ah wasn’t -” Applejack began before sighing, “Ahh shoot. I keep putting my hoof in it, don't ah?”
“You’re doing your best.” Twilight assured, “And I’m sure Green won’t be angry with you forever.”
“She’s not angry with me,” Applejack said, “but - Ah gave her a panic attack Twi. Ah thought Ah could help her feel better by getting her ta open up about her past, but - Ah don’t know what Ah’m doin’.”
“It’s not your fault.” Said Twilight, “You didn’t make her this way.”
“Speaking of which,” said Applejack, “We need ta talk about somepony Green has pegged as a bully; Spoiled Rich.”
I was laying on top of my bed covers, staring at the wall when I heard a knock at my bedroom door. I sighed and turned over. To my surprise, the pony I saw was Fluttershy. My first time seeing her outside the dream realm.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Fluttershy, “I didn’t mean to bother you. I just thought you might like some food, if that’s alright.”
“No!” I said quickly, “I mean yes- I mean- sorry.”
“Would you like a hug?” Asked Fluttershy.
My throat was closing up so I just nodded.
With my eyes squeezed shut to fight back tears I felt the bed move as Fluttershy sat down on the bed and draped a wing over me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked.
“About what?” I asked.
“Your bullying.” She replied.
“Applejack told you?” I asked.
Fluttershy nodded, “I just thought, I mean if you don’t mind, well- I was bullied too, when I was a filly, so...”
I took a breath and tried to collect my thoughts.
“Did you ever forgive them?” I asked.
“Forgive them?”
“For what they did to you.” I said.
Fluttershy froze up, and I had my answer. My ears flattened against my head.
“Oh.” I said, “I was hoping you could tell me how.”
Fluttershy hugged me tighter.
My first therapist, back in grade school, told me that holding onto a grudge was like drinking poison expecting your enemy to die. The best way to spite your enemies, she’d said, was to live well. Were it so easy.
If the element of kindness couldn’t forgive her childhood bullies, then what hope did I have?
(Oh Green... and Applejack... and Fluttershy. Still, at least the word is getting around. If Twilight can engineer a method of 'finding out', or simply find a way of recording Spoiled Rich while she's engaging in her behavior and thinks nopony of importance or power is watching... well, then that will potentially solve a lot of problems. At least, if they don't wind up ignoring her, or just 'dismissing' like it felt like Applejack was doing to Green, at least to Green. Tentative hope for an effective solution... tentative.)
I’ve always taken great comfort as the years have gone on that I have never had to think about any of the bullies I did deal with in my school years since. I have been fortunate enough not to have ever dealt with them after graduating, and so I just let them drift away in a sense. I can remember a few faces, one or two names, but for the most part they now have the same degree of import as anyone else in class that I didn’t really speak with. Not something I would have found particularly helpful at the time, but there is a degree of satisfaction to be had in knowing what enraged me so much back then is nothing more than pointless trivia now.
Thanks again G-H for another awesome chapter. I'm really loving this bully arc of the story and I'm interested to see how it's resolved. Good luck with your next chapter, and as always have fun writing.
Yeesh... This was some lateral reasoning. What's scary, it was sound reasoning.
Applejack is the wrong pony to help Green, well i can't think of any one the main Six i would allow her to stay with.
and as for spoiled milk. there is only one that that will ever stop her.
strip her of every thing make her a pulpier so she has to beg to just live.
and back to Applejack i would drag that ass out behind a barn and beat her for days.
she needs broken.
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i.postimg.cc/WzZ13WSt/812410056766521364.webp
Damn... I am glad for the update but my feelings... I can only hope Spoiled Rich gets caught in the act.
In any case, fantastic chapter Greenhorne, I look forward to the next chapter and I hope you are doing well yourself.
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how edgy of you
Adults who were never bullied be like: "just move on lmao"
Applejack's heart is in the right place but yeesh.
Sad to say but until everyone is on the same page Green will not be able to move forward and heal. Green needs to confide about their past and how they where instructed to deal with bullies and how they coped. Then she needs to be taught how Equestria handles it. Because unfortunately after talking to Fluttershy, Green has taken several steps back in her progress. Green needs to talk to Luna in her dreams soon and probably have her secret known to far more ponies because keeping all these secrets is not helping Green in any way.
This kind of manipulation from a parental figure is a pretty strong signifier that the figure is not yet qualified to be raising somebody / somepony. I get that AJ is feeling depressingly frustrated, but saying that to somebody who's looking to you as their anchor of guidance only depresses them and causes them to recede from initiating additional conversation.
AJ is not the best choice for helping Green, but she's already been selected for the task. Hopefully she'll learn not to use that kind of manipulation in the future. Maybe she and Fluttters can help Green together, which would likely help AJ and Flutters as well.
that hits kinda hard from the element of kindness
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What in the ever loving fuck?
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AJ didn't even mean it as a manipulation. She just needs to learn the balance between honestly and tact. This was a very bad time to be honest with Green about feeling inadequate as a parent.
Okay, props for not having a bully victim push for forgiveness. Its true what the therapist said about grudges. They only hurt you. But that doesnt mean you HAVE to forgive to move on with your life. And im happy that Flutters is that way. She has great friends now, and Im sure she is happy.
Thats not to say you cant forgive. Im just saying that it must be your choice and im sick of people trying to force the issue. Especially those who were never bullied.
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Unfortunately aj never was a great parent to begin with considering the episode where she was supposed be on a business trip and didn't want to leave her sister alone because she couldn't accept that her sister was growing up and didn't need her like before. Instead doing what she was supposed to be doing she went back home to look after her sister only for her sister to be so fed up with her that she decided to do her sister's job for her. All Applejack thought about what was her sister getting well when what she going to do when the bills need paying and because the order was never delivered no payment which means no money.
nice, always manage to ruffle my feels, keep on the good work
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Oh, I didn't think she was using the method maliciously. That'd make her worse than Spoiled. I believe AJ can learn from this, and Green and AJ can grow to have a healthy foal / parent relationship.
11397525
I agree completely. I never forgave my bullies unless they earned that forgiveness. That said, I also learned to not let my anger/hate for them consume me.
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True, AJ hasn't been a great parent, but then she never was really a parent to begin with. Granny Smith would have taken on the parenting roll with Bloom after their parents passed. Green would be the first time she's really had to take on a full parenting roll. The dynamics are likely a bit different than a sibling roll.
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True, however some mental tweaks actually state that being able to be "level" and accepting if faults actually grounds them more reliable as such.
Its why psychiatry and psychology are so fking hard, and "one look" assessments don't exist. The brain and people are complex. Hell, spite trumps logic if they're prideful enough, and all itd take is a quote from a passing conversation, or a TV show or song lyric and bam. Entirely different outcome.
Hayooman brain complex. Me stoopyhed.
Another great chapter. AJ still has a ways to go but she's trying her best.
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That's the best part, really.
Imperfect
peopleponies meaning well and doing their best, only to fail (but succeed later, one hopes), makes for compelling drama.Of course Applejack would fall back on honesty when in doubt. And of course that would only feed Green's insecurity in this case.
It's marvelous writing.
Okay.
I held it back for as long as I can but I can't any more.
Applejack doesn't use "sweetpea" she uses "Sugarcube"
Please use the correct phrase.
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Applejack calls Green (and only Green) Sweetpea, because peas are green, and small. It's a nickname.
(It's also has some subtext to it; since 'Green' doesn't have a real name and Applejack gives her one. In this story ponies who come to the hospital unidentified get called by their coat color; 'Green' is Equestria's equivalent of 'Jane Doe'.)
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Applejack isn't manipulating here. Not intentionally. She's just a VERY honest pony who has no filter for that honesty and hasn't learned that sometimes you have to keep your thoughts to yourself.
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True I think she and her brother as soon they could took over a lot of the parenting but because her only example has been her grandmother and she trying to be too many things a farmer an element bearer and a parent. But the fact is they never even handle applebloom right. She wouldn't have care as much about her cutie mark if she wasn't being bullied over not having one and the fact she was a late bloomer in that area wasn't helping her feel better. Plus when rarity bad advice on what to write for the school paper came to life she didn't even care till it bit them sometimes I wonder who is the older sibling in that relationship because bloom acts way more mature than her sister most of the time.
The Return of the King.
Great as always. Hopefully we get a chance to see a happier green soon.
It's remarkable how much trouble emotions cause. Green went from a normal functional adult with a good job to a mess just by having her emotional control stripped away. It's almost like River Tam of FireFly meets MLP...
Many commenters are measuring progress forward or back, but wouldn't progress for Green and River Tam look the same? Restore emotional control and you have a functioning adult again.
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The reduced emotional control is only part of it. Being forced back into the same situation, the same stage in life that she faced the first of these bullies makes it hard to achieve any sort of emotional distance that she may have had on Earth.
It's a question of whether she needs to "deal with it" by confronting it, or if she can simply "get over it" by distancing herself from it.
Can she, with the right support, resolve her trauma in a healthier way than she did the first time, or will reopening these old wounds just retraumatize her.
Oh, what delicious drama! The struggle to be a good, successful parent is real, even for those who aren't dealing with a hot, anxious, fuzzy mess like Green.
I love all the interactions here, and it's gratifying to see that the filly does in fact possess a spine. I hope that our viridescent protagonist soon gets the help that she needs. Really, all that's stopping that process is her understandable refusal to open up. This means that it's the other ponies' (though, to be sure, mostly Applejack's) responsibility to make her feel safe and secure enough to confess things. I feel that such a talk must be coming in the near future, as Green is surrounded by friendly, eager-to-help individuals, barring the odd Spoiled Rich and Diamond Tiara.
Thus far, the filly is a remarkable individual whom I crave reading about. It is incredibly refreshing to see such a pragmatic main character, when so often these HiE fics have the human just freaking out or being a jerk to everyone. I love how the first thing Green does when she wakes up is question everything she thought she knew, and immediately after build a new understanding of reality. I think it admirable that she continues this logical thinking all throughout her time in Equestria, and I find that that trait combined with her anxious demeanor makes for a genuinely original and delightful personality, one that I've not encountered in any other media thus far.
One of my main hopes for this narrative is that Green receives the assistance she requires, without fully revealing her human origin. Green has clearly been through the wringer quite a few times, pony or no, and I would love to watch her continue to get advice and healing even despite not opening up completely. Truly, thus far this story has been invigoratingly creative, and entirely aberrant compared to others of its kind. Really, I'm just eager to witness this trend endure, and I know for a fact that I shall not be disappointed.
Good sir, your writing is impeccable and your narrative as captivating as a good debate (which is to say, extremely engaging to a nigh alarming degree.) It is of my humble opinion that you deserve every bit of positive attention you've received, as you're an inspiration to us all, myself especially.
You should also put some (not all, obviously, since calling a child "runt" when they are insecure about their height is a terrible thing to do) focus on the "refused to fix the broken playground" part of that sentence, as that also puts all the foals of the school in physical danger, and they should have been fixed long ago
Yes... you also need to talk about how she is refusing to fix the the broken playground equipment and hasn't even bothered to have it removed from the schoolgrounds
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I share your desire for swift retribuition.
But, ultimately, this would be worse for Green. Once she got her "fix" on revenge, it won´t stop...it will look like an easy way out of the pain.
I know that feeling.
I think it's called "cutting off your nose to spite your face".
Wear the grudge like a crown, of negativity
Calculate what we will, and will not tolerate
Desperate to control all and everything
Unable to forgive your scarlet letterman
Nice
If an adult is bullying a child then there really is a BIG problem and it MUST be dealt with as harshly as possible. No mercy, only justice.
Fluttershy forgave DISCORD for mind-graping her.
I find it hard to believe she didn't forgive foal bullies without god-like powers...
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Discord said he was sorry. Childhood bullies that you ran away from and never saw again and tried to repress the memories of? Not so much.
It's not that she wouldn't forgive them, it's that she hasn't.
Fluttershy has good backstory!
11397945 Discord said he was sorry AFTER planning to use Fluttershy's refusal to use the EoH as an opportunity to run wild, but finding out he liked having a friend. She had forgiven him BEFORE the apology for what he'd done in "Return of Harmony".
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Lets Tar & Feather her.
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I would Get Twilight Velvet & Nightlight. They have Experience as parents.
Good to see that AJ didn't come to the worst conclusions from that.
If anypony can keep an eye on Spoiled, it's Twilight. Spoiled may have wealth, but nothing beats a princess's influence...
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Unfortunately aj didn't exactly do anything either. She thinks that spoiled can't really hurt anyone so she isn't worried.
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I don't think without the whole truth it will be possible to help. Though I still can't understand why with discord around her story is so impossible. The guy turned equestria inside out and upside-down in a day and did stuff that for ponies would have been impossible. So why is her story impossible?
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Maybe Luna should have been chosen. She gets magic and knows the truth and being a princess she can swear anyone to secrecy concerning greenie and get her real help. They think she is a rape victim and they are going try to help with that even though it didn't happen and that damages trust because if they don't believe the truth when they hear it how they actually help.
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Give her to spike he the most mature of the group and understands to a degree about bullies. Twilight might mean well but she was so wrapped up with her studies most of the time she didn't think about the world around her. Spike is more mature and works for a princess and has helped her with many things.
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Yeah, if it was DT I could see AJ having this response, but knowing that it's Spoiled this seems like an odd response. There's one thing when a kid bullies another, you can brush it off as, "they don't know any better"...but an ADULT bullying a child is a horse of a different color.
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It's out of character for her. I suspect she'd call green "Sugarcube" more out of habit than anything else.