Just Rut me!

Raphtalia

Raphtalia #1 · Jul 26th, 2019 · 1 · · Chapter 2 ·

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horse wangs in unexpected horse places

Yeah, like that rare breed of horse that reproduces with their knees.

Raphtalia

Raphtalia #2 · Jul 26th, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 ·

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9751723
A kneefukarian. Very rare.

Fabian Corcair

Fabian Corcair #3 · Jul 27th, 2019 · 1 · · Chapter 2 ·

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Sweetie belle: Can you rut me?
Big mac: I'll consider it

CMC: Cutie mark Crusader underage fuckbuddies, yeah!

Big mac and Sweetie Belle: Used fuck!

My conscience:

It's very effective

Shakespearicles

Shakespearicles #4 · Jul 27th, 2019 · 4 · · Chapter 2 ·

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9751976
They have their cutie marks.
So they are legal.
pbs.twimg.com/media/CHfYGV6WIAAGthK.jpg

Sean66067

Sean66067 #5 · Jul 27th, 2019 · 5 · · Chapter 2 ·

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Macintosh speaking a lot? You sick fuck we can't have this nasty stuff on this website. SHAME I SAY GO SIT IN A CORNER I SHALL NOT PARTAKE IN THIS FILTH.

Sunny Starscout

Sunny Starscout #6 · Jul 27th, 2019 · 1 · · Chapter 2 ·

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Ay ay ay

GloomyFace

GloomyFace #7 · Jul 27th, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 ·

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"An ah can't promise ah'll have th' peace o' mind t' stop once we get started," he warned.

It should be "presence".

SGDragon

SGDragon #8 · Jul 29th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 ·

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You aren't supposed to start a new paragraph when it's the same character talking. It makes it difficult to figure out who is talking since a new paragraph is supposed to indicate a different character speaking. As it is, you often can't tell who said what until several lines of dialogue later.

TotallynotanAlt

TotallynotanAlt #9 · Jul 30th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 ·

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9756176
I'm all for constructive criticism but I don't see what you are talking about.

SGDragon

SGDragon #10 · Jul 30th, 2019 · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

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9757888

A new paragraph indicates a new speaker, for example this:

"Tell ya what. Ya'll tell me what this is about an ah'll consider it," Macintosh offered. That seemed to get her attention. She hopped back up to her hooves and marched up beside him, leaning against his side and affectionately nuzzling into him.
"Now now, ah ain't caved jus' yet lil filly. Why do ya want me so badly? Yer Heat ain't even kicked in," he argued as they made their way towards the Barn.

Makes it look like Apple Bloom is saying "Now now..." at first. It should be written like this:

"Tell ya what. Ya'll tell me what this is about an ah'll consider it," Macintosh offered. That seemed to get her attention. She hopped back up to her hooves and marched up beside him, leaning against his side and affectionately nuzzling into him. "Now now, ah ain't caved jus' yet lil filly. Why do ya want me so badly? Yer Heat ain't even kicked in," he argued as they made their way towards the Barn.

So there is no confusion at who is speaking.

An exception is when the dialogue is interrupted with narration that is multiple paragraphs. In that case the subject of the narration should be the character that is speaking in the next paragraph. So taking that whole string of Mac's dialogue should go from this:

"If this is another one of yer crazy schemes fer a cutie mark, count me out o' it. Ah ain't gonna get messed up in yer shenanigans again. Or did ya'll fergit about that potion incident? Ah sure didn't," he glanced at her over his shoulder, finding the filly with her rear in the air and her tail flagged.
She shook her plump flanks back and forth and even gave a convincing whimper of need. A weaker stallion would've been easily swayed in that moment. Surely.
"Tell ya what. Ya'll tell me what this is about an ah'll consider it," Macintosh offered. That seemed to get her attention. She hopped back up to her hooves and marched up beside him, leaning against his side and affectionately nuzzling into him.
"Now now, ah ain't caved jus' yet lil filly. Why do ya want me so badly? Yer Heat ain't even kicked in," he argued as they made their way towards the Barn.

to something like this:

"If this is another one of yer crazy schemes fer a cutie mark, count me out o' it. Ah ain't gonna get messed up in yer shenanigans again. Or did ya'll fergit about that potion incident? Ah sure didn't," he glanced at her over his shoulder, finding the filly with her rear in the air and her tail flagged. She shook her plump flanks back and forth and even gave a convincing whimper of need. A weaker stallion would've been easily swayed in that moment. Surely.
Macintosh wasn't so easily swayed. "Tell ya what. Ya'll tell me what this is about an' ah'll consider it," he offered. That seemed to get her attention. She hopped back up to her hooves and marched up beside him, leaning against his side and affectionately nuzzling into him. "Now now, ah ain't caved jus' yet lil filly. Why do ya want me so badly? Yer Heat ain't even kicked in," he argued as they made their way towards the Barn.

Isseus

Isseus #11 · Aug 5th, 2019 · 3 · · Chapter 2 ·

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If youre going to change a characters genitals, like yo did with scoots, you really should mention it in your fic, not just your spolered synopsis. You should also change the character focused on when you change the paragraph, because it got really confusin a few times.

9752040
Except the first chapet mentions they dont in this fic. Big MC is wondering if this is one of the CMC Mark attempts.

Shakespearicles