Estrus Gets the Best of Us

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Comments ( 8 )

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Keyboard with Hooves

Keyboard with Hooves #1 · Apr 24th, 2019 · 6 · ·

Did anyone else laugh at the scene with rarity?

appledasher2104

appledasher2104 #2 · Apr 24th, 2019 · 3 · ·

9586111
Yes but not out loud.

Nekon

Nekon #3 · Apr 26th, 2019 · 3 · ·

This was very hot and well written. Ez like and follow

Black--Soul

Black--Soul #4 · May 4th, 2019 · · ·

Makes sence that with more mares than stallions ratio,safe Sex incest would be a thing if one thinks about it. Good story

xRei

xRei #5 · May 9th, 2019 · 5 · ·

Contest Judge, leaving some thoughts.

I'll just say up front that I really loved the first half of this fic. Not that the second half was bad, but the first half had me gripped to the page. It got me laughing at points. The dialogue was just great. It was snappy, well-paced and had excellent use of action beats to keep things spicy. Great usage of context clues and action beats to reduce unneeded attribution.

So the second half.. It was also good. There's some good writing and nice action. No serious complaints.

But I do have one major criticism... Well, two, but the second is technical and largely unimportant.

First the technical. The phrase 'couldn't help but (to)':

She couldn't help but notice, however, that Macintosh was holding back.

She noticed, however, that Macintosh was holding back.

She noticed Macintosh was holding back.

also

Despite all, Applejack couldn't help but smile at his answer.

Despite it all, Applejack smiled at his answer.

I bring these up because just today I was talking with another author about this very specific phrase so it was on my mind.
I really do think it's word junk in the vast majority of cases.

So what about the more serious thing?

Well, put simply, it's how the topic of incest was handled by the story. It's totally valid for it to be normalized in your story if that's what you want to do, and I greatly commend you for taking so much time to show that normalization rather than just take it for granted or hand wave it with a few sentences. The first half of the fic does a great job of showing us the pony attitude toward the subject(among many other useful things that scene is doing) in a way that was amusing and thorough.

But uh.. the thing is.. I like that incest is taboo and scary. For me, that's a large part of the appeal. So as an incest story, this one doesn't fully scratch the itch for me. I talked about this at more length in a recent blog post I made if you want to get a better idea of why I think that. We can probably conclude that this is all highly subjective criticism, but I do genuinely believe I'd be speaking for a lot of fans of incest with regards to the kink appeal.

Putting that aside however, what's left is still a really nice fic that I enjoyed reading just the same. Thanks for writing it.

WhispersInTheDark