- Member Since 17th Jul, 2016
- offline last seen 10 hours ago
Akataja
Just one of many MLP Fans out there :) also german writer, taking small commissions for stories and art
Akataja
Joined 17th Jul, 2016 ·
Offline
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh, HELL YEAH!
9057602
Thanks.... i guess?
9058020 Well, if I might be a bit wordier, I think the fic is a nice character study and you're really giving some good descriptions. Grammar was all over the place and you would benefit from reading some guides on writing for internet. Pacing is also a huge issue. You could easily slow the tempo down to make the scenes feel less rushed. On the whole, watersports like that aren't really my thing, but I always welcome more foalcon on the site, especeially if it involves Rumble and Scoots.
Also, you might wanna fix: 'It was an unwritten rule to look at others using the urinal...' -> NOT to look at others.
9058289
hey, thanks man, productive critics are always welcome :)
9058736 That's how I started to improve, so I just wanna pay it forward. I know writing in a foreign language can be a challenge, so fight on!
So basically the teacher has a lot of experimenting to do
9410474
I think so, yes
You misspelled button's name.
On the title
9725290
Stupid question what anime if your profile pic from?
10035941
None that's fanart of Vergil from Devil May Cry.
Or it could be from the anime adaptation they made I'm not sure. I just looked for pics of Vergil.
10035976
oh damn thanks
10035991
You're welcome
This feels incomplete. Will you be doing a sequel?
10660398
I do, but i dont know when
10660614
Okay. Whenever you do, I'll try to be one of the first set of persons to read it.