- Member Since 7th Jun, 2017
- offline last seen 29 minutes ago
Dr Sharaz Jek
Cynically Pretentious Hedonistic Nihilist...and those are my nicer qualities!
Dr Sharaz Jek
Joined 7th Jun, 2017 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Dr Sharaz Jek · 1000 words · 2.7k views
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I thought Feather Bangs was with those 3 mares?
Limestone got laid before Marble? Who is it?
10017397
Those three mares are just his side dish!
Didn't have anypony in particular in mind for Limestone, but I figured it was some nerdy guy she intimidated like Sunburst!
10017957
Perhaps it was somepony even more intimidating than she is. That's plausible, right?
10018526
Certainly possible, I think she'd respect that!
10018534
And it's all about respect, isn't it?
10018567
Certainly in Limestone's case!
This was adorable
10018776
Glad you thought so!
10018608
Is a sequel at all possible?
Possibly one with Limestone?
10018834
I'll consider it, would have to come up with a good idea as I admittedly don't have one offhand!
10017957
Or Troubleshoes.
10018861
Excellent.
This is cute. Feather Bangs has been a potental candidate for Marble Pie and I like how it was handled.
10076290
Thank you!
Very fine read. Well done. Would mind another couple of rounds.
10077293
Thank you, admittedly no plans for another sequel.
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Does an okay job of trying to get all the characters in one place ... though it's still transparently for porn purposes.
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She'd quiet make her money-- quietly?-Cursing from Marble seems out of character.
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had her card punchedthe spatters of splooge, the ribbons of twat release that tethered her most intimate region-- the wording in parts like is ... questionable.-A bit rushed after Marble's first filling. Maybe a switch of POV could have slowed things down?
-And POV switches a lot in the beginning anyway. There are multiple POV in the beginning, but only one in the end.
-It's crazy -- but also sexy -- that they all just end up in a big threesome like this.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 92/100
Allure: 65/100
Enticement: 69/100
Immersion: 80/100
Prose Quality: 80/100
Total Score: 386/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
But just think about what you could do with all those ribbons... of twat!
That's so kinky.
11346666
Thanks!