Twilight Writes a "Dear Seabiscuit" Letter

by InsufferableUnicorn

The Letter

Dear Fluttershy,

I wish I knew how to say this face-to-face, but whenever I try I just can't. Either you're happy—or are you?—and I don't want to spoil it, or you're sad and I feel like a bully, or we're fighting and I know I'll say things I'll regret if I let myself start.

I'm not the pony for you. I wanted to be; for a while I even convinced myself that I was. I'm not, though.

Or maybe you're not the pony for me... I'm not really sure. I handle feelings the way Applejack handles advanced mathematics and Rainbow Dash handles long-term planning.

Remember when we first met? You were so shy that you couldn't say your name; it took Spike to get you out of your shell.

I admit that I was weirded out—and I probably didn't hide it well—but I also felt an odd thrill. Here was somepony who was actually worse at socializing than I was!

My interest only grew that night, when you tamed the manticore. Such a kind heart!

You know how we met of course, but I mention it because I think I started to love you that night. I've never told you that.

I've loved you for so long... That's another reason this letter is so hard to write.

I can't go on like this.

I love you, and I always will—I suppose that's Rainbow Dash's Loyalty rubbing off on me—but I can't be your lover anymore.

When it's good between us, it's so good. You're the kind, sweet, beautiful Fluttershy that everypony loves—and trust me, a lot of ponies would do very questionable things to be your coltfriend or fillyfriend—and I feel like the luckiest mare alive. It's everything I wanted as a filly... though of course back then I thought I'd be with a stallion. Surprise!

But when it's bad...

I wish—dear sweet Celestia how I wish—you'd let me know when I annoyed you. Right when I annoyed you, I mean.

I know I don't have the best interpony skills, or the best sense of what other ponies are thinking. When I feel neutral others think I'm annoyed. When I think I'm being helpful others think I'm criticizing. I like to think I've grown over time thanks to you and the other girls, but it's clearly not enough because I keep stepping on your tail. When I think I'm mildly annoyed you say I'm yelling at you.

I think I'm sounding whiny now... I don't even know that for sure. Even with all the books I've read I still don't know how to convey emotion properly in writing.

Like I was saying, I step on your tail a lot. I suppose that's another thing I share with Rainbow Dash: we're both abrasive. Whether my abrasiveness through ignorance is better than her abrasiveness through not giving a darn I leave to history to decide.

But why won't you just tell me when I annoy you?

Never mind; I know. It's because you're Fluttershy.

It's because you try to ignore the things that make you mad. It's because you can't bring yourself to confront ponies... not even the ponies who love and understand you.

You can't ignore the things that make you mad. It just builds and builds until you explode at me and we have one of our fights. They were bad enough when they happened at your cottage where nopony else could hear, but you we made Spike cry last time.

I can't do that again. I won't. I can't keep your explosions secret anymore, either... although from what I've heard you gave Rarity and Pinkie a taste when I was out of town a couple of months ago. Right up until then, any time anypony knew things were less-than-perfect between us I played it up as my fault. Hay, I used to believe it was always my fault, too; I don't know if you noticed during that whole enchant-the-town-into-loving-Smarty-Pants thing, but I don't have the best self-esteem.

While I'm sure I'll sound like that awful griffon, another part of the problem between us is your worldview.

Last night at Pinkie's party you pulled me aside. I knew you were still upset by our fight yesterday morning, but I thought that if you had to pull me away and make the other girls wonder—which they did—it would be to lay the fight to rest.

Do you remember what you said? I do.

"It's not your fault I'm upset, Twilight; it's mine. I go out into the world and I try to be Kind, and there's a part of me that expects that other ponies will give Kindness back. I shouldn't place that expectation on others... that way I won't be disappointed when they don't treat me the way I'd like. I'm sorry that I expected that of you."

Like I said, I don't always read ponies the way that they intend. Maybe you really were trying to apologize for your part of the fight, the way I'd already apologized for mine. I wanted to be Generous, so I tried to believe that. That's why I just nodded and walked back inside.

But it didn't feel like you were apologizing. It may just be me but it sounded like you were saying, "I'm Kind and you're a jerk, but because I'm so Kind I won't expect you to behave like a civilized pony."

You kind of made it sound like you—a pony who has stared down dragons and cockatrices, challenged Discord and Night Mare Moon, and outflown Rainbow Dash—were the helpless victim of mean old Twilight Sparkle.

Maybe you spend too much time with Rarity; I don't know.

Of course, it's maybes that are the problem here.

Maybe someday I'll be better at reading ponies and not annoying them. Maybe someday you'll learn to address what bothers you when it does so, instead of saving it up letting it fester.

I hope so.

If that day ever comes, I would love to be your fillyfriend again.

But until then, we'll have to just be friends.

Assuming I ever work up the willpower to give you this letter, of course.

All of my foalish love,

Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[Zornia]

Ok.. who the hell would want to break up with fluttershy?

[neutralmilk]

I really liked this. It was very in character for Twilight and it makes one think about Fluttershy as a pony in general. Liked, faved and everything else. Have a moustache.
I hope you can revisit this idea some time in the future. I'd like to see a story based upon what happens during or after the letter.

[Zornia]

Twilight makes fluttershy heartbroke. My Pony Oc sweeps in.

[skysky2112]

..............well written and good story but........

anti-twishy?

[TwinkiePinkie]

A refreshing view of the pony that's usually portrayed as perfect in every way. W-wait, no! I didn't mean it Fluttershy! Come back!

This is great, though. Especially the "I'm sorry you're such a jerk" part. I can really see her doing that, because nopony's perfect and even adowable wittle Fwuttershy is perfectly capable of manipulation and emotional blackmail. But we love her anyway, because, well - she's Fluttershy!

[Arkensaw Pinkerton]

So, so solid, and very true-to-life of the difficulties that can arise when one is dating someone particularly meek. Well done!

[Lenora Goff]

I have to say, the lack of "and everyone lived happily ever after" with a pairing seems... nice.

Is that wrong of me?

[Harwick]

I think anyone who has been in a relationship that ended in resignation that things just wouldn't work instead of anger and/or betrayal can relate to this. Good people who honestly love each other don't always work out, and it's usually because of communication problems caused by the ways their personalities simply don't mesh together. The arguments outlined here are very old, and I can totally see each pony taking the sides you've given them.

[TheRomanCat]

1075024 nope.

[Dusty Sage]

Spend enough time in the Shipping Capital of the Universe, and eventually you forget that most relationships eventually founder: "And they all lived happily ever after" is, after all, the ending to a fairy tale.

So I appreciate the reminder that sometimes it just doesn't work out.

[Dark Lightning]

I would have broken up with Fluttershy :D

[Desideratium]

This is a stark contrast to most of the other shipping fics out there. The vast majority of them entail the impossible relationships going over smoothly, never ending in harsh breakups. This is very well-written, and original. You've earned my hard-to-come-by green thumb, so good on you!

[ALIS]

You have to write a Flutterbitchy response chapter.

Please.

[Fanayvea]

yo, whats a dear seabiscuit letter?

[InsufferableUnicorn]

Thank you all very much for your kind words!

This fic was somewhat painful to write--it's a little too close to home--but I'm glad it's been a good read for you all.

1079523
I hope I'm never inspired to, but if I am I'll post it here.

1079841
It's my pony-name for a "Dear John" letter; in other words, a break-up in letter form.

[ColdGoldLazarus]

Well, as a Twishy fan, I wasn't expecting to be too fond of this story, but I gave it a shot anyway, and I'm glad I did, because it was well-worth it. It is very much in-character, outlined the potential problems in such a pairing, took a much more nuanced view of Fluttershy's character, and as this 1075024 guy said, averted the usual 'happily ever after' ending. Well done all around.

[Hodgepodge]

I absolutely loved this, and, to a lesser extent, the previous Flutters fic you wrote. I think you capture her personality wonderfully, as other people have said, it's a relief to see her written with flaws rather than 'poor widdle helpless fwuttershy'. I love the concept of Twilight's (mild) inability to read people keeping her even more confused by Flutters' passive-aggressiveness, of her worrying that she's the one making a fuss and causing all the problems.

[InsufferableUnicorn]

1339153
1427112
Thank you both; I'm glad you liked it.

Twilight and Fluttershy have always fascinated me. All of the Six have their issues, but Twi and 'Shy are two of the more--hn--damaged ponies (or "less healthy," if you prefer). It's interesting to poke around in their thoughts and put the story's "camera" behind their eyes, and see how that colors things.

I also find those two the easiest to write because I have a lot of the same issues for some reason...

[ColdGoldLazarus]

1433497

[iisaw]

You know what is the best thing about being a pessimist and a cynic? It's when stuff like this story crops up and proves me utterly and delightfully wrong. I only read this because of your other bit of weirdness that just appeared on EQD. Even though I knew I was going to hate it. Even though I knew it was going to be shallow and cliche.

Silly me. Thumbs up.

[InsufferableUnicorn]

1469483
Heh, thank you!

It's fun to be wrong sometimes--if being right is "winning", I aim to be the Dwarf Fortress of ponyfics!

[TrackingTarget]

1075024

Hardly. This is a lot more believable (to me, at least) than the usual "we have barely anything in common but we're so perfect together" that shipping falls into so often. That and Fluttershy always gets depicted as having no real flaws, aside from her anxiety issues, so it's good to see a more realistic take on her character for once.

Also, I'd love to see one like this for RariJack.

[YayFlutters]

This makes me sad

[Hodgepodge]

1474352

Can't imagine AJ writing a letter, or appreciating the sending of one (rather than Rarity just telling her to her face).

[TrackingTarget]

1487501
True. A letter still seems like something Rarity would do, though.

[Casca]

Horrible full-on italics which made it kinda hard to read aside, this was actually pretty good. You took a believable conflict, grew it, and then showed us the end result, rather than going through the rigamarole of a dragged relationship - short, sweet, with punch.

[InsufferableUnicorn]

1474352
Thank you very much! If my muses compel me to do a RariJack version you'll be the first to know!

1480963
Um... Sorry?

1537154
Hmmm... You're not the first to dislike the italics. I like them myself because it seems more "letter-y" to me, but I think I'll bow to the public on this one and edit it shortly. Anyway, I'm very glad that you liked the story itself!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Happy Night Mare Night, everypony!

[YayFlutters]

1538751

It's fine... This ship is my favorite and seeing something like this....

[Titanium Dragon]

I wrote a review of this story as part of Read It Later Reviews #55.

My review can be found here.

[wlam]

7519775
"Four years later" is "reading it later" alright. And I thought my backlog was massive.

[Titanium Dragon]

7522354
Presently sitting at over 2000 stories.

Though I only found out this writer existed the other day.

[wlam]

7522607
And here I thought that sitting at a comfortable 3000 chapters in 209 stories was unrealistically "I'll never be able to actually read all that" much.

[Titanium Dragon]

7523045
To be fair, I've read at least 2086 stories on FIMFiction according to my bookshelves, probably more than that, as I only could start marking stories as up/no/downvoted after bookshelves were implemented in 2014 and I've probably not marked every story I read in 2013 and most of 2014.

[wlam]

7523453
Well, only 99251 to go then. You can do it!

[Earthen Forge]

Thanks to the read it later review, I was able to read it later, as in now that i found out about it.

[thinglet247]

This is a dear John Letter isn't it?