• Member Since 8th May, 2019
  • offline last seen 18 hours ago

dystopia8


Comments ( 68 )

Is hope going to be a major theme in this story?

9629911
This story will probably focus more on overcoming self doubt, but as you would expect in the Equestrian wasteland, hope is still a very rare and valuable motive and necessity for a majority of the characters throughout the story.

Comment posted by JOEBLACK deleted Jan 25th, 2020

9668124
Thank you, I'm glad you are enjoying it.

oh, poor Cheese Sandwich. i can't be the only one who figured him out because of the yellow shirt and twitch though, to be fair, i probably wouldn't have had Amber not found that holotape. i also saw the alicorn coming. muahahahahahahahaha. can't wait to see how they get out of this one though it will probably heavily feature that new toy of hers.

This chapter actually made me cry! Oh my god the feels! This is really good, keep up the work

How many chapters long will this story be?

9963729
Crazy as it sounds, I've planned for 35 chapters and an epilogue. I might end up combining chapters or splitting chapters in two depending on their length, but that is the current plan.

It's kind of reminds me of the original Fallout Equestria. Aura is Littlepip: confused mechanic, Brisk is Velvet Remedy: a tortured soul that wants to be free. Stole override password.

For some reason 10 mm pistol just lost 5mm of thickness in this chapter. I hope it was just a mistake.

9971195
I totally missed that. Thank you for pointing this out to me.

Black Widow is my favorite perk :twilightsmile:

To be fair, Manehattan is the worst place to be spawned in for the level 1... player.

“This is Radigator meat. It comes from a town called Arbu up by Bucklyn Cross.”

Uh-oh :rainbowderp:

Comment posted by dystopia8 deleted Dec 6th, 2019

“Yes you can! You can just walk away. A filly and her parents are not more important that everypony in Stable 25. I can't believe that I of all ponies needs to remind you of that!”

Well, it's not that, it's just this is a common trap in the wasteland.

I feel like they are celebrating a bit too soon. Those two cyberponies + Red Eye army are going to be the next boss battle.

Healing potions are a bit strange with how they work, I feel like Xayah should have been dead without the help of Auto-doc or a military surgeon bag.

9978721
My thoughts were that Xayah kinda lucked out in that the only real damage done to her was a particularly nasty knife wound. The rest of the damage to be was stopped before it could become something truely serious.
That said, I'll definitely take that into account for future injuries down the road. Thank you.

9973152
oh poopsie...I remember that place

MEATS BACK ON THE MENU, BOYZ

10077091
Originally, chapter 13 and 14 were going to be one long chapter, but when I realized exactly how long it was going to be I decided to break it up into two completely separate chapters altogether.
Memoirs of Twilight Sparkle was around 46K upon completion, and shortly before posting it I decided that it was a little to long for one sitting. I still wanted it to be 'one chapter' though, so I chose to make it a part one/two thing instead.

I guess, if worst come to worst they would have to use balefire ordinance to seal caves with tentacle monsters.

Usually at this point some secondary character presses the nuclear button, so the main protagonist could escape.

10122499
Yeah... Amber Aura is many things, but lucky isn't really one of them. She doesn't get such luxuries.

How many chapters long will this story be?

10183228
The original plan was 35 chapters. However, I've had to break up the last couple chapters into smaller chapters because they were getting too long. I currently predict it to end at around 38 chapters, but only time will tell for sure. This should be roughly the halfway point of the story though.

There is that 5 mm Remington Rimfire Magnum (RFM) round mentioned again. Or something similar to it.

10195318
For someone that is keeping track of how much ammo all the characters actually have, I'm apparently terrible at keeping track of what type of ammo Brisk uses. Thanks for pointing this out. I'll do a sweep of the whole story to make sure it stays consistently as a 10mm pistol like its supposed to be.

Update: All pistol ammo has been corrected to the proper ammunition type.

Hm, I have mixed feelings about the Friendship Express.

Why did you make the chapters so long?

10245768
I try to keep my chapters generally between 10 and 20k words. I've noticed that my chapters have been getting longer as the story progresses though, so lately they've all been closer 20 to 25k. I never mean for them to get so long, it just kinda happens.
I won't however, have a chapter surpass 40k words, as I feel that is just too long to read in one sitting. If that happens, I will usually split the chapter up into two or even three parts.

Holy shit can’t wait for more this is getting good

10287157
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

I'm getting a SOMA vibe where the memory orb is going to be a giant, perfect world simulation that I'm going to laugh if it turns out to be just the tv show where everything is friendship and magic

Great, the director is a computer. Azar still isn't sucked into the trash pile somewhere, shame.

To be completely honest with you, I kinda wish my horn would just blow up and get off my head.

Well now. Killing joke "joke" material right there.

10615983
They do say to be careful what you wish for.

I don't know how this hadn't gotten featured?!
It's an amazing story almost the likes of the original and it needs more views!
I'll help how I can.
Also, you need an editor and to work on personal pronouns.
"He, she, I, they, them" you either mix them up or default everypone to "they" and "their".
Something a good editor would catch.

10741421
Thank you! I'm beyond happy to hear that you are enjoying the story so far.
As for editors, I try my best to catch all the mistakes, but I'm well aware that I do miss a good chunk of them, especially in some of the earlier chapters. Once the story has reached its conclusion, I intend to do a large sweep of the whole story to try and remove as many missed mistakes as possible, hopefully with the assistance of some editors. I will definitely keep personal pronouns in mind for my writings going forward and for my future revisions. Thank you.

Wow, compared to the others this chapter was quick! Had to do a double take at this one.

Loving the story so far!

10897369
Hehe, I felt readers would want a bit of a breather after the odessey that was the previous chapter.

I'm glad you're liking the story so far:twilightsmile:

The references to the other books was nice and not over the top. Well done.

Ahhhhhh finally read up to the latest. Cannot wait for the next chapters. Keep up the great work!

Some weird feeling? For a long time I glimpsed this story, but for some reason I did not dare to start reading.
Perhaps because of the not very high rating, in general a strange thing.
After reading the first chapter, well, honestly speaking, I began to doubt even more why I even tried to judge by statistics.
Everything is written well, an initial understanding of the character of both the main character of the story and the second companion is given.
(since I didn’t read further than this chapter, I judge purely by it)

11126932
I'm glad the first chapter managed to surpass your initial expectations! Hopefully the story can continue to surprise you as it goes along.

Wow so many references. Probably, as soon as I read about the green Pegasus with broken wings, I immediately remembered Murky Number Seven.
A pony born with a destiny to be free. This is a very short but good mention.
An interesting ending... to the Kamari story arc. True, her survival with the help of the "mysterious stranger" is very similar to the plot armor which seems to be stronger than the MAC tower itself :trollestia:] Let's see what happens next.

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