- Member Since 23rd May, 2013
- offline last seen 13 minutes ago
Holocron
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Holocron
Joined 23rd May, 2013 ·
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I fell very sad for Barbra Dragoness
This is sad yet erotic, I hope for a sequel that isn't part of a 1k contest.
Barbara needs a hug and she needs to run and not look back
right in the feels!!
I want to see a sequel about her confronting one of the guys about it.
9747055
Or, y'know, using that fire that dragons are able to breath and burn their dicks off.
This is quite dark. The thing is, it feels odd how little emotion there is. I suppose it can be explained as her having been forced to endure it for so long that she's just gone emotionally numb, but the lack of emotion prevents how horrible it is from being truly conveyed.
I do believe you meant "bent" here.
To further talk about it, the story is portrayed as sad, basically tragic. It's tagged with "sad" and the start of the story (and the author's not) make it abundantly clear that what's going on in it is shitty. So it feels like the story is supposed to be about how horrible what's being done to her is. But it's also tagged with "porn," and there are moments in the story which feel like they were written to be porn-like. The contradiction between the tragic aspects and the porn aspects, in addition to the relative lack of emotion, takes away from the story: it's hard to enjoy it for the porn, since her situation is shitty, but it's also hard to appreciate it for the portrayal of the tragic aspects, since there's pornographic aspects. At the same time, I don't think that those aspects, by necessity, would have to clash in a manner that lessens both, but it's the lack of emotion that causes it. And that is unfortunately caused by it being limited to 1k words. If it was longer, there'd probably be more detail, which could enhance the emotional aspects of the story.
9751079
1. Thank you for the notice with the “pent” where “bent” should be. I always appreciate when my readers point out what I overlooked.
2. Yes, if this story was longer, or I gave Barb more emotions regarding it, then the story may be of better quality. But it is because I set the 1,000 Exact Word Limit is to see if I can do it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But that is why I call it the “1K Challenge”.
3. I do agree that the “sad” and “porn” aspects clash with each other but it was kinda the purpose. I wanted this story to have readers feel sorry for Barb and, like you noted(thank you by the way), to notice that her somewhat lack of emotional response as she’s writing all this down, because she has been forced to do this for so long. I intentionally leave out at what exact point in time, as well as any coherent reason why she is abused like so, more to get the reader to speculate or imagine what could’ve driven the males to do this to her. If I had her begin this diary more when her abuse was fresher and more a shock, she would be more emotional, but I doubt writing it down would be within her first thoughts; as it would be somewhat sudden, as well as so shocking that she wouldn’t know how to process the series of events. So by the time she does write this down, she is all but emotionally dead inside and is now reaching a sad but common psychological step in abusive situations; self blame and eventual acceptance to her situation.
4. As a side note, this story unfortunately cannot have a sequel as there is no where for her to go. Seemingly no male sees her as anything more than a sex toy, and she has been abused far too long to develop any form of resistance naturally. So the only course I could see would be a character helping her, rescuing her so to speak from her abusers. But I personally could not think of any who would fit that mold.
Thank you for you analysis of this story, as well as your honest opinions and I wish only the best for you my friend.
9751312
In a weird way, this is perfect. It's been made in a way that the male characters fall into the trope of "complete monster." Complete monsters are pure in a way. They aren't meant to have backstories, to have sensible motivations or get sympathy from the audience. They're there to be bad. They make heroes look more heroic and victims look more sympathetic. Overly Sarcastic Productions on YouTube did a pretty good breakdown of the complete monster trope relatively recently. Ill just say you capured that well and it makes this short work quite effective.
9751312
Well, you could explore the world more and how other females are seen there. Or you could delve more into Barb's past. And what about Eris (female Discord), Thorax (female version who's name I don't know),or Prince Ash (male Princess Ember), they might be more sympathetic towards her.
9771136
I’d read that, so feel free. Just send me a link
9751312
maybe someone reads the diary and realizes they're being terrible
9787149
It’s possible.
i feel like this has serious sequel potential. maybe like a super dark post suicide story about everyone's reactions to knowing they caused it. or a story where she finally snaps and runs away, or a slightly different run away story where she actually gets pregnant and runs away fearing for what could happen to her child.
Idk i cant write worth a shit so i just thought i could throw some ideas out there for anyone who might want to try continuing this.
9849731
They’re not bad ideas. But I can’t see much in terms of sequel. A prequel of this and how it all started may be more possible. But I can’t really say for certain.
9771452
can I get a link too?
bit late but, y'know.
9902427
Understandable, I’m still eager to see what more you make.
9771136
Sounds like quite the fun comic!
Also, this is a nice little story. Probably would make for a nice larger smut chapter too. I certainly wouldn't mind a sequel if that is ever on the table.
9771136
you ever do it?
10441109
oh, cool
10441109
Oh very good! I was considering a possible sequel to this, maybe even with the Student Six more. So I'd love to see a comic for inspiration.
10442664
Looking over, i was considering reposting this story, making it much longer, with more details and other smaller scenes. All told through the words of the poor dragoness as she's used by all the men she knows and hated by all the women.
Looks like that school needs a nice american school shooting
10762313
So far, no. I have not received any updates regarding any comics being done. But I didn't want to pressure anyone, so if it happens, it happens.
There is always a solution. One Raping bastard at a time...
Is this gonna get a sequel?
11593958
Unless someone commissioned one, it'll take a long time due to my need for commissions.