• Member Since 23rd May, 2013
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Holocron


Gaze within the Holocron and see what stories it has to tell.

Sequels1

E

Today is a special day and Pinkie Pie's mental state is in a bit of a Topsy-turvy state (I mean more so than usual). Surprise has been giddier and happier, and Pinkamena has been more angry and anti-social. They both know what's today. One of the best days for Surprise is the worst day for Pinkamena Diane Pie. As they debate how to celebrate "That Day", what will happen to Pinkie Pie?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 35 )

Oh Pinkie, it's always fun to look inside your brain

That was cute. :twilightsmile:

You know I can never see Pinkamena as a killer :pinkiesad2: it just does not click
I love it when stories give Pinkamena a happy story :pinkiehappy: she's cute with her mane down

I like this!:twilightsmile:

'Grumpimena' was good. 'Barely kept in check sociopathic murdermena' was a bit much.

The coloured text was hard to read, and since you attributed dialogue normallly, unncessary.

Still, not bad. 'twas cute.

3583230

Yeah, Pinkie never struck me as being really dangerous, either. I'd be a lot more worried about Fluttershy snapping and going berserk.

Still, it's a nice little story about the mind of a madmare.

I really liked the banter between the two inner Pinkies :pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:

*claps* Bravo, bravo! I especially like Pinkemena in this. (die kill hate die kill hate kill die!)

The color scheme was a bit off-putting, but all in all...

I liked it.

Well done.

~Skeeter The Lurker

kinda reminds me of starfire and raven

oooou gread I can't stop lathing :rainbowlaugh: :pinkiehappy:

Liked it but the colors kinda threw me off. Anyways here's a Favorite and a Pinkie Heart! :pinkiesad2::pinkiecrazy:

I wanna see more of Pinkie's inner mind now!Pws?:duck::applecry::pinkiehappy::heart:

good job with this, I like the fact you used three incarnations of Pinkie for this one.

Anyone else smile at the end?:applejackunsure:

I GOT 50TH LIKE OH YEA UH-HUH!:yay:

wonderful concept, but I'm sensing you're a bit new at this. A lot of this could be refined to be made smoother, and you're missing a few a lot of punctuation marks.

I feel like this could be expanded to be given more visceral depth. It feels empty and bland as is.

4433454
Granted that I wrote this roughly a year ago, I feel I have improved somewhere.

4433480
I suppose. I'd have to check your more recent work though. :scootangel:

You almost got me to smile, but not quite. STILL, a fine story, have one of those green thumbs, whatever you use them for.

is not bad, but also not good... the big fail is the color... yes, I know is to know who is talking but is too hard to see it

i quite enjoyed this, it shows an interesting start on the seperation between surprise and pinkamena. but, like with your other story that i read, its alittle short, and although it hints at complexity, it doesnt explore it enough. i will have to keep an eye on you though, from what i have read from you, your turning out to be quite interesting as a writer. :pinkiesmile:

That was pretty cute. :twilightsmile:
I especially like the way you handled to interactions between Pinkie, Pinkamena, and Surprise.

This really did make me smile i cant belive you wrote a story with surprise in it:pinkiehappy:

Surprise, Pinkie Pie, and Pinkamena. I guess this should be Teen, but surprisingly enjoyable for all ages. I enjoyed the part in the dream.

It was interesting.
It had my favorite pony, so that's automatically awesome, and it had Pinkamena? And Surprise?? Immediately got me in, because I wanted to see if you could pull this off.
It was interesting.

"Murder murder only fun when killing death insanity Pinkamena" was too over the top. We're forgetting about Pinkamena's origins here. She grew up on a rock farm, a place devoid of fun. Ever since she saw the Sonic Rainboom, her hair poofed and she was filled with sunlight and rainbows and joy and happiness, blah blah blah. The only time she's ever returned to her "Pinkamena" state was when she thought she was losing her friends, a big part of the fun in her life. She thought there was something wrong with her parties and the way she was trying to make others smile. Murderous versions of Pinkamena spawned from Cupcakes, and even then, Pinkie remained "poofy-maned" the whole time. I would've given it more credibility if Pinkamena was just a social downer and she didn't like having fun, but having dead ponies on spokes for half of Pinkie's brain?
...really?

Surprise, on the other hand, felt better. I suppose she was there to represent "Poofy Pinkie", and that she was supposed to be more hyper than the actual pony to counter Pinkamena's darkness. Honestly, she was portrayed as childish here. Exploding with excitement all the time, using puppy eyes when she wasn't a living bomb.. it was almost bipolar.

I don't know, that's just me. Take what I give and run with it. I know that this was made a few years ago, so this may not apply and you may've grown past this, but here's the critique still.

Good day and good health!

6268721
I am glad you enjoyed it. And I hope you humor the Sequels.

6268755

Oooh, sequels?
There are sequels??

Sorry headache, sorry midday nap, you guys are gonna have to wait.

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