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I feel like the only pony in Equestria who remembers that magic's not safe.
Some ponies would tell me that ain’t fair, and they could be right. We live in a world where everything but death can be cured, in cities that could stand on sunbeams and alongside creatures that defied explaining.
I don’t want to take wonder away from folks.
I just wish they’d stop forgetting curses were real too.
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I'd never thought about it being a challenge to tell everything from Applejack's point of view and trying to make it sound like her. It's good here though; some people go overboard. And I like that you used "I" instead of "Ah".
Can't wait to see where this goes!
9230079
Thanks! I hate 'ah' so much too.
This is very interesting, and I’m not sure what to make of it yet. It seems to take place in the future, or an alternate present... I think? Either way, the storytelling is good, and is drawing me in.
Oh, this is fascinating. You've painted a most compelling picture of both setting and character. This is a far more fantastic and dangerous Equestria than we're used to, and Applejack paradoxing a sketch golem to death was an excellent establishing moment. "The Everfree Forest kept existing at us" is an almost criminally brilliant line.
That said, the time-based ticket tattoo seems like a terrible idea. I know this is a magical supertrain, but I've spent enough years commuting by rail to know that delays are inevitable.
Eagerly looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
9240693
I've only traveled by train twice, and both of those were at this event up north where you can ride a full-sized Thomas the Tank Engine. Most of my knowledge comes from those old Lionel Train books.
This is an exceptionally interesting start! I'm keen to see what comes next.
Wow, this has been quite a ride. Can't wait to see what happens next!
Was pleasantly surprised to see Fluttershy here, especially what thier backstory is.
Spoiling just in case:
Funny thing, when I saw that this chapter was posted, I was thinking, "cool an update!" . But I was also surprised to see that the story was added under Fluttershy groups like "Fluttershy" and "Bad*** Fluttershy" . Now I was curious, wondering just what is Fluttershy doing here?
Having now seen that Fluttershy still has her compassionate spirit, but also having her on little company. Plus having a rather supposed tragic and mysterious past behind her has me really excited and concerned. The fact that she was nonchalant about the golems potentially killing ponies makes me wonder just what had Fluttershy seen all those years ago.
9242768
Care to prove it?
9351870
I don't have any pictures of me right now, but the event is called A Day Out with Thomas, so if there's one nearby you oughta check it out.
9351735
Thanks for faveing Under Her Iron Skin!
Fluttershy appearing isn't supposed to be a spoiler, so don't sweat it. I'm glad you're enjoying her.
9231108
No, it's an AU.
Thanks for the praise.
9274737
Thanks!
9351992
You're welcome!
Well that's good. I guess its just how unexpected it is. Expecting her to suddenly meet Fluttershy in that circumstances was quite surprising. And I do indeed enjoy what she had brought in just one chapter. You really have did well in making her intriguing in one chapter. She seems both the same and different from the canon-verse. The fact that she calmly and loudly (that is at a proper volume.) state her name is a far cry of how one would first meet Fluttershy back at Season 1.
Can't wait to see what future business Applejack will have with her.
Yeahhh.
Your totally going to meet her Applejack.
From now on, I'm writing my stories out in advance before publishing them, because I'm suddenly not sure how many of the characters introduced here I strictly needed.
Well now. Some fascinating further insights into this universe, to say nothing of the rampaging graphite golem. (Also, major kudos for working in the sentence "The sun landings were a hoax!" and making it work in context.) Eagerly looking forward to more.
9354739
I'm glad it didn't feel too exposition-y. Thanks for the Watch!
9353884
Oh, I didn't mean for the surprise character to be a bad thing mind you. I did like the surprise of seeing Fluttershy and Zephyr.
9364830
That wasn't the surprise characters. It's literally everyone else.
I think it’s a shame this story appears to have gotten such little attention. It is filled to the brim with intricate details and fresh ideas and massive worldbuilding, all the while managing a reasonable pace. The tension is also kept high despite nothing terrifying happens through most of these two chapters—but AJ’s worries, the strange magical devices everywhere (Icy Firelessworks and Shades included) and the backstories of the characters make for a great feeling of something going very wrong in the next moment.
Grammar and spelling-wise I couldn’t complain either, there were no glaring or recurring issues. You style reads well too, and while the characters have been twisted by the AU, it is clear it’s still them. My only complaint would be the occasional link to more lore in your blogs, as going to read that broke me out of the story’s atmosphere every time, plus I think a lot of the information can be conveyed by the story itself. But that’s just a minor complication.
Thank you for these two chapters, they were already very entertaining. I’m looking forward to more!
This continues to be very interesting indeed, and I very much like your Fluttershy. Sounds like she's a bit more fey in this Equestrian than in most!
9441782
I hadn't thought of comparing her to the fey before, but that's pretty on point.
M8 you know your story is exceptionally well written as far as you went with it. did you ever get the features box?
9851051
It did not, but that sorta happens. Thanks for your interest, I should work on this more.