Starlight Glimmer is quitting her job as school counselor to travel Equestria performing magic shows with Trixie. She really wasn't expecting to have such a big going away party, but she's thrilled to see how many people are there to support her. Twilight invites members of the audience to talk about Starlight... and then the fun really begins.
Featured on 07 August 2018! Thank you so much!
I also did a reading of it on YouTube! Here!
This is part of the Like Fireworks in the Sky universe but that fic is not required reading for this.
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Chapters (1)
*rushes onto stage and pulls out list*
Ok, let’s see umm... poor reasons for hating cutie marks, should have just tried to keep in touch with friend instead of going off the rails on a coo coo choo choo, rushed ass transition from villain to ally and all around a failure of a complete and believable character that further pushed me away from liking the actual MLP series as opposed to just sticking purely to fanfiction.
Ok that’s about it. SEE YA!
*runs out exit*
9094181
I like Glim Glam but yeah that's a pretty good assessment.
AND THE "THEY WENT THERE" AWARD GOES TO: DISCORD!!!! I thought Tempest was the one without the filter!
And somehow that wasn't the worst one!
9094238
Tempest probably just wanted to get Starlight to let her guard down. :') Of course Tempest's lack of filter is more about her swearing. Meanwhile Discord doesn't swear as much but he will absolutely rip you a new one if he wants. I love Discord.
That cover art cracks me the hell up.
HOLY SHIT, FLUTTERS! DAYUM!
This was fucking priceless! I loved this!
9094289
Thank you! I had so much fun drawing the cover art. Wheezing Trixie is my fav. And yeah it's always the sweet ones you gotta watch out for. Fluttershy takes no prisoners.
This is a brilliant concept that really should be utilized more!
9094206
Thanks. And thanks for not being one of the people to just hate on it because I don’t like the character. Because I really DO want to. It’s just those points I mentioned that keep me from doing so.
Perfect cover art, I love it xD
Very funny and cleverly written fanfiction, I was entertained all the way through (and of course Trixie x Starlight is always nice).
Keep up the good work :)
This was lots of fun. Discord and Tempest were my personal favorites. Although Spike and Twilight were hysterical too.
Too bad they didn't get Sunburst up there, y'know?
9095259
Ohh no I forgot to include Sunburst! Oh man I'm sure he would have had some good jabs. Ah well. Thanks for reading. I loved all those roasts too. Definitely my favorites to write.
This is probably the only story that has Starlight Glimmer that I will favorite!!! This was too funny! Starlight really deserved that roast! Good story, dude!
I came here for Starlight on a spit over a fire!
WHERE'S THE TRUTH IN ADVERTISING?!
9095482
Yeah that's fair. I wasn't able to think of good ones for Rarity, but attempts were made. My excuse is uhh (spins wheel) she just wasn't having a very creative day. But thank you! I really loved Fluttershy's, just because I love the idea of such a sweet pony being so savage. I mean never forget, "I can't believe that the two most frivolous ponies in Ponyville are trying to tell new Fluttershy how to live her life, when they are throwing their own lives away on pointless pursuits that nopony else gives a flying feather about!"
9095474
Discord was all for it tbh but ponies don't tend to approve of such things. sad
Spike smirked, "Careful what you wish for." He blew a gout of flame. "We dragons CAN actually do that." He then waggled his eyebrows, "But then, if that's ANOTHER kink you're into..."
Starlight looked for a short sword with which to commit seppuku.
And that right there is a joke in and of itself. But was it deliberate?
I'm sure you are.
You forgot about the other half of a roast where the guest of honor roasts the ones who roasted her.
9095615 Pinkie likely roasts ponies frequently. Once she's done making cupcakes.
9095649
Valid point. Watch out, y'all, Glim Glam's gonna get revenge one day.
Lame. Have you ever actually watched a roast? They're actually funny.
9094206
Not really.
9127854
I can certainly tell you've seen roasts because damn. But I personally found this funny as did plenty of others apparently. But hey everyone's entitled to their opinions. I'm actually pretty bad at insulting people, roast-style anyway, unless they give me a good set-up. Ah well, I tried
As for the assessment of Starlight, I guess it just comes down to perspective. I like her, but that wasn't the first person I've seen describe her that way so there's something to it. I'm just happy she's developed beyond that though. She's an interesting character for sure.
9127944
That's not the first person you've seen, because the fandom is populated by sheep and parrots. Very few people actually have their own opinions and thoughts, and the rest just copy them.
9127967
Interesting, the bulk of the criticisms I've heard of her are from a particular person I PM on Discord who certainly doesn't pay attention to majority fandom opinion and has a lot of unique things to say otherwise. But I guess anyone who dislikes a character is just parroting talking points from other people. Makes sense
H u h. Didn’t see that one coming.
Now, this is a well-written story with an interesting premise, but there's two problems I see with it:
1) Of all characters in the show, Starlight is the absolute last character, I'm sure, who would take a roasting session lying down. If we're talking Season 6 Starlight, sure, but not the one in the newer seasons. She's got some sass recently – she sassed Starswirl in Shadow Play and Twilight in School Raze (which, to be fair, comes after this fanfic), so it's pretty OOC that she won't be shittalking them back! This is a pony who runs on emotions, lest we forget.
2) While the other roasts are true or may have some merit, Pinkie saying Starlight can't cook is canonically false, mate! We've seen her making food several times in the show; in Road To Friendship she had her "famous campfire spices" with her; and Pinkie's literally the first character to say that her cooking is delicious in No Second Prances. Starlight may be a lot of things, but she's not a shit cook.
Otherwise, this is a curious format. I got second-hand embarrasment just reading it. Good work!
9327503
Good points. Guess I didn't realize Starlight's shown cooking ability, I really need to pay more attention. As for her tolerating the roasting, yeah it probably would have been better if she fired back at them, but I figured it was funnier for her to just listen in embarrassment. Maybe she doesn't want to make a scene? Idk, I can get pretty snarky with people but if I was at a roast entirely for me I'd just let them have their fun.
Maybe Starlight writes personalized roasts for everyone later on :'D it'd make a fun sequel if I was actually good at roasts
9094238
Favorite part, XD
I loved Flurry Heart's scene where she's eating grass off the ground and bites Twilight's horn.
I'm surprised that Rarity didn't say anything about Starlight's God awful mane back when was a cult leader.
Those bangs. Those terrible bangs.
Tempest's roast takes no prisoners.
Discord's roast hunts down survivors, targets civilian populations, and carries out Scorched Earth attacks.
Twilight's roast uses nuclear missiles.
10312276
omg you're right, I didn't even think about that. Honestly I'm not good at thinking up roasts anyway, if I do come up with a good insult for someone it's kinda a spur of the moment thing. I'll just imagine Rarity roasted her enough about her bangs prior to this that bringing them up again would have been a cheap shot :')
I'm hardly a prude, but I think this might have been funnier without all the swearing. Or maybe with more? If Tempest had been the only one, that would have just been her style, but as it is, it was jarring to see her bust that out. And like, "Trixie lost her shit" in the narrative is considerably funnier than Discord saying "fuckery" or "bastardry". Then again, so is Fluttershy's burn ward joke.
10359436
I'm just personally amused by ponies casually using language that they don't in the show, so I hardly thought about the amount of swearing I was including in this. Especially when it comes to Tempest and Discord, I see both of them using strong language. But yea you're probably right, I probably did overdo it anyway.
10359825
I can't say I'm not also amused by it. :)
So this is a great fic and all, but it has a fatal, criminal mistake:
No reference of Starlight's snoring.
Oh well, that didn't exist then I'm pretty sure. You may be spared just this once.
starlight should keep her sex life like her reformation...off-camera!
10521458
lmao yea
I imagine Starlight and Trixie like to play around and get kinky with each other, and there's something real thrilling about doing the nasty where they could potentially be found. It's all fun and games until someone actually DOES walk in and then things get very, very awkward. yet they never learn
i’m disappointed this wasn’t one of the burns
i don't think starlight even noticed this diss