After the repulsion of the Storm King's invasion, Tempest Shadow, being the only pony among the army, is not exiled from Equestria, but left behind to face the charge of treason. At Twilight's discretion, she is made an inhabitant of the Castle of Friendship, and the subject of the Princess' own tutelage on the subject of friendship, just as Starlight before her. In adjusting to her new life, friends, and drastically altered view of the world, Tempest must learn the true meaning of friendship, and the many forms in which it comes. With the support of Twilight Sparkle, Tempest works to develop the bonds of friendship, and find a new normal for herself, perhaps even one which accounts for her and Twilight's ever-strengthening bond.
Chapters (4)
I like this. It's a very good start.
I think this is exactly how a trial in Equestria would go. I liked how the princesses were more focused on a punishment that would be redemptive and reformative than retributive. It feels very in-character.
Too many other fics that have Tempest on trial are too focused on negative emotions and how someone wants retribution for what, really, amounts to nothing worse than we've already seen in the series with much less consequence.
Yup, this is looking really good.
I’ll be watching for the updates to this story.
A different kind of start from the other Tempest Shadow stories that I've read that begin with a trial. I like it! Excited to read more.
Wait. I don't understand. Why are they holding a trial? Isn't it standard procedure to immediately let villains go scot-free if they have a tragic backstory and say they're sorry? I mean, they didn't give Trixie a trial, or Sunset, or Starlight, or Discord...
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I probably could've explained my thoughts on that better, but I really didn't want to drag on about the legal proceedings, since it's already 5k words of just set-up.
My thought was, we never see any other reformed villains be punished for their actions, but just be reformed, and that makes sense, ponies are kind hearted and forgiving, especially Celestia. So, I figured, the way it would work is, the villains would go through some sort of trial as a formality, simply because that's what a monarch is supposed to do, but the punishments would be really small, just something to help reform them. Like how Discord was sent to be reformed by the Mane 6, and how Starlight became Twilight's friendship student. I figured, Tempest is a pony, she did technically commit treason, but I didn't think it'd fit in the world of equestria to give that a really serious punishment, but I still wanted to cover their society acknowledging that it was a crime, even if it was really just a formality.
That's just my view of Equestrian though, I can see how that wouldn't mesh for some other people. Thank you for pointing that out!
AWESome start. You have earned a favourite my friend 😎
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Relax, was just kidding. If you feel the need for a trial, go for it.
Hallo! It is I! The lord of unnecessary nitpicking that for some reason I and other authors actually appreciate! Though, I guess the first thing I have to comment on isn't really a nitpick... I also don't remember if I have commented on this story yet or not, and since I'm too lazy to check... I'm going to act like I never have.
Did you know that night terrors is a sleeping disorder that some humans have? It's actually kind of interesting. Often an individual with night terrors will sit up in the middle of the night and let out shrieks of terror, even if they aren't having a nightmare. Normally the individual with night terrors is still asleep while screaming, or has no recollection of the event, even if they were awake.
Now, I've been wrong before on this kind of stuff, but I'm fairly certain that Spike has his own room in the castle, and a bed... Actually I'm pretty sure there's an episode about that... Yeah... "Castle Sweet Castle" Season 5 Episode 3, Twilight can't get used to her new castle, and the girls try to make it more like the Golden Oaks Library, and need Spike to distract her, he comes up with the excuse that he needs a new bed for his room.
Anyway though... Great chapter besides, I really enjoy how well this is written, many of the other stories on this ship have weird grammar errors that make it less enjoyable to read. Another thing I love about this is the chapter size, so much to read, so little time! Except, no, I have way too much time, that's why about half my day is spent reading about tiny technicolor magic horses, usually the purple one with the wings and a horn, being a lesbian with... just about anyone... I need new hobbies. And apparently, a way to cut down on comment size.
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I'm honored to see someone taking so much attention to detail!
That's really interesting, I had no clue that night terrors were a specific condition of their own! I just thought it was a turn of phrase for nightmares. You learn something new every day, I guess
You're absolutely right about the rooms. I wasn't sure while I was writing, I thought I remembered something in the show about where Spike slept in the castle, but I don't have your memory for episodes, it seems. I just settled on having Spike sleep in Twilight's room, since I couldn't remember for the life of me
And don't worry, you aren't alone. Lesbian Twilight ships dominate a worrisome amount of my day, whether I'm writing them, or reading them.
Wouldn’t a military commander need to know how to read and write? Well, unless Grubber handled it
Wasn’t Zecora ostracized for being a zebra? And Rarity shunned for her bad mane? And then there was the foal free press, and...
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Indeed, Zecora was. However, by now, Ponyville has seen visitation from Discord, Zecora, Thorax, Ember, and Gilda, all without judging them on the way they looked. By the end of S7, Ponyville is clearly an uncommonly accepting place. Also, the lesson learned from the Foal Free Press episode was that the CMC, at Diamond Tiara's command, were publicly judging and criticizing the town populace, and in the end, they learn that doing so was wrong, and the town is rightfully upset at them for slandering everyone.
Also, "It's Not the Mane Thing About You" is biggest reason I wrote that spiel from Twilight. Ponies are shocked by Rarity suddenly having a destroyed mane, after having taken such care with it only the day before, but the reason she's treated differently is because she acts differently. In the episode's resolution, as I recall, the other Mane 6 remind Rarity of things she's done, and affirm that those are what define her. Then Rarity realizes something to the effect of "I was the only pony acting differently." She wasn't confident, assertive, helpful, nor did she command the attention of others, and so she was treated differently. Once she starts acting like herself, taking care of her mane with the new style, and confidently facing the town, nopony bats an eye, except to compliment her manestyle. It's her character, and her actions, that determine how ponies view her.
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Language is always a sticking point, ain't it
My thought was, whatever the Storm Beasts.... do... to communicate, is probably different from what ponies speak. Clearly there's some pony language that Tempest/Grubber/Storm King know and use to address them, but whatever writing system would be used to lead the Storm Beasts, as far as I can guess, would be wildly different from what ponies read and write. And since Tempest ran away when she was just a wee little thing, I inferred that whatever literacy she had, would probably be in the writing system of a foreign land. In effect, after spending only a tiny fraction of her life around ponies, and leaving before getting an elementary education from them, I thought it'd be weird if Tempest knew how to read and write in the system ponies use.
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I suppose those arguments hold. Very well.
Is the lack of a period intentional?
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Nope, I'm just an idiot. I'll go ahead and fix that, thx for pointing it out
When you use the word ablution I'm pretty sure you mean absolution. Otherwise very nice. I like the gravity you were able to convey through the proceedings.
It would have made more sense to say a snake was involved. If for no other reason than Twilight has fought spiders bigger than her.
Banana Bread. It's majesty only matched by Cheesecake.
A crap military if they don't take pride in their uniform
Savages! Not wanting apple pie?! Apple pie is good for all the seasons!!!
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Apple pie is superior! As well as cookie dough ice cream.... I'm hungry now
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No pie can compare to cake. To think so is irrational. I am willing to concede the ice cream is close though.
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When you're right, you're right. Absolution is probably the word should have used, I probably just confused myself with two related and similar sounding words
Admittedly, I didn't spend much time considering the believably of the lie, I just threw in something that would be a possible, if humorous, thing to frighten a pony, and that wouldn't have much of a significant effect on the ponies that hear the lie. You're right, a snake would be a much more believable lie, but I would have to do some mental gymnastics to justify ponies not being deeply troubled by a possibly venomous creature in their home.
Horny??????!!!!!!!
Ok, I at least think that you meant the occupants with the biggest horns there. Because, you know, horny means something...erm...that wouldn't fit very well into the context here. I think...
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I like how your name goes with your looks. It delights me over and over again, when I encounter your comments below the various stories
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It's why I went with it
Is this still being updated?
So is this dead?
6 months since you last logged in. Urgh. Guess Ill add it to the probably dead bookshelf then.
"Freedom is slavery"© ))