Merging Magic, Without Magic
"Yeah, I guess we might have to wait with that, but can somebody explain what Discord had done?" Twilight asked as she got up from bed. Everyone blinked at Twilight using a more human dialect. "I'm just as confused about that change, the new magic must be messing with my head. Does anybody know a doctor?" the former pony asked.
"Actually, there is a nice friend of mine who is specialized in magic and other types of hocus pocus. Come on, I'd like everypony to meet him." Celestia said as they walked across the hallways of the hospital until they reached a door. "I'd like you to meet Dr. Thaumic Scope." When Celestia opened the door, it revealed a dull brown unicorn with a grey mane and beard, as well as a cutie mark of a stethoscope surrounded by stars.
"My, my." Thaumic said as he looked at Twilight with his blood red eyes. "What an interesting case you have here. Discord merging with you as one last state of chaos. Even for him, that's unpredictable."
"We told him all about the incident, Twilight." Celestia said as she looked at her student, who walked towards the table and sat on it like Lyra. "As an added bonus, he is one of the best of the best in not just Canterlot, but all of Equestria." the princess of the day said as Thaumic began to charge his horn.
"What is he gonna do to me?" the draonequus asked with a little fright in her tone.
"Don't worry, my little patient. I'm not gonna hurt you." Thaumic said as he began to cast a spell he designed specifically to scan a creature's magic signature. When he was finished, he was shocked at the results.
"What is it?" Twilight asked.
"It appears that there are not one, but two magical signatures with in you: that of yours and that of Discord's. And there's more..." Thaumic said as he turned to his patient. "The two magical signatures are merging into a new, non-magical form of energy." the doctor said as Twilight's jaw dropped.
"So I wouldn't have magic anymore?" Twilight said as tears formed in her eyes.
"I'm afraid so. You were one of the greatest magicians that every lived, and I respect that, Ms. Sparkle." the brown and grey unicorn said as Twilight looked towards him. "Either way, you'd no longer have magic, and you won't be able to use your powers until the merge is complete, if they are still there. But fortunately, you have a strong chance of remaining alive after the merge."
"This... this shouldn't have been happening to me..." Twilight said, gritting her fangs as she put her hooves to her face while crying like a baby before a yellow hoof touched her.
"Power or no, as long as you're still you inside, we will always be there." Fluttershy said.
"And besides, it can't take away the magic of friendship from you. It resides in all of us." Pinkie Pie added.
"Thank you guys. Though, I'm still a bit worried. Without access to my magic, I feel like my fur fell off." Twilight said before looking at the doctor. "Doc, are there any more surprises, yet?"
"Not that I know of, Ms. Sparkle. Your physical transformation is finalized, and you seem okay, personality wise. But watch out in case you feel something out of place. But look on the bright side. There's a strong chance that you'll be able to channel those powers as if they really were your old magic. That, or you'll have to relearn how to use them." Thaumic said.
"Thanks, doc, but one last question. How long will the transition last?" Twilight asked.
"The transition/fusion from magic to non-magical energies, judging by my calculations and the sheer strength of both your and Discord's magic, I'd say it'll be a week at its fastest." the doctor said.
"A week!? No, no, no, I can't last a week without magic, much less for the rest of my life!" Twilight said, hooves on the sides of her head. "Though, if what you're saying is true, doc, then I could probably be able to use this energy just like I did with my magic before Discord screwed everything up." the draconeqqus said as she got up back on all fours as her draconic companion walked towards her.
"Don't worry, Twilight. We're all here for you. Who cares about magic when you have friends? Just like Pinkie said, the magic of friendship cannot be taken away by some silly transformation." the purple dragon said. Twilight walked towards him, unsure of her new body. Her new tail moved almost like a serpent's would. She felt the wins on her back twitch in agitation, and her mane sometimes got caught in between her new horns before untangling them with her hooves. Not to mention the fangs within her mouth, two of which stuck out like a vampire's canines would.
"Yeah, I guess so. Keep an eye on me in case I get sick during the merging process." Twilight said.
"Good call. Spike, take good care of Twilight for me." Celestia said as the little dragon saluted.
"Can do, Princess. I won't let you down." Spike said as Twilight hugged him.
"Thanks, Spike. You're the most reliable person a pony could wish for." Twilight said as Spike saddled up on her back as they prepared to leave the hospital. "By the way, where are we going, Princess?" the Element of Magic asked.
Meanwhile, on the far edges of Equestria, near the undiscovered west, a portal opened, and a figure, clad in black and grey armor, came out. "In a week's time, this realm will face something they will regret for eternity." the figure said as two more armored humanoids in white and gray armor came out. "Here, we shall build our stronghold, men." the head being said as he gazed out onto the woods, watching as multiple members of his kind came out of similar portals, carrying materials such as wood, stone, and many other things. "Heck, we can even use the chaos to come for our own purposes."
"Um, Boss? Why are we setting shop in this particular world, anyways, Boseu?" one of the humanoids said.
"Fist off, this world contains a special type of magic that I've been hunting down for generations. Secondly, as you all know now, our own home world was destroyed, and thirdly, there is an ancient relic that currently materialized within a mile's radius of this location." Boseu said as he gazed upon the stronghold being built with his hands behind his back.
"Tell the search parties to find that item and bring it straight to me when they uncover it..."
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that ending was super random
Whoa mama. Great job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I particularly liked the reactions to the news that Twilight won't be able to use magic anymore and the support of Twilight's friends and family . The scene at the end with the "chaos hunters" was a great cliffhanger, too.
Too bad there is no indication that Twilight's friends were introduced to Shining Armor and Cadance MUCH sooner than in canon (since I would think Shining would be VERY concerned for his little sister concerning Discord's final stunt). Beyond THAT, though, I thought this was a VERY good chapter.
Anyway, I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this for as long as it takes for the hiatus to end.
I'm eager to see where this story takes us
well thought it would be a bit longer ... and please don't cut the story off in a middle of speech dialog
If your gonna say it’s in hiatus actually set it to that.
The last sentence of the author's note reminded me of Kim Jong Oof
If humans exist and no human tag, I'm done here.
9067928
I'm not intending them to be human. The armor might as well be part of their skin for all I care.
9067963
Righteous
They're after the Elements. I bet he's an evil villain that wants to take over Equestria? Also, I bet he won't be able to use the Elements of Harmony.
And you lost me. I liked the idea of Twilight becoming the New Lord of Chaos and the idea of Discord slowly being poisoned to death by Harmony.. but then you kinda went completely off the rails and into some strange world of presumably former humans traveling the world to hunt her, the loss of both her own magic and Discords (which really kinda defeats Discords original point of doing this so Chaos might survive I might add).
I wish you luck with whereever you're taking this crazy ride and hope those that contenue enjoy where you're heading, but I'll be getting off here.
A really good start, though I'm very curious as to how the new creatures will play into things.
I know you are still working on your writing skills, but please aim higher than "as you know, (insert basic fact about our society here)."
9072140
I'll agree there. The one exception is that Discord claimed that he did this to prevent chaos from breaking free of him and wrecking the world -- for even Discord didn't destroy -- and less for his survival. That said, I don't know how/why she's claiming that she can use her (and Discord's powers) if they are neutralizing and knows it. That sounds off.
Remove the people and ill track it.
Well this story had potential and then you screwed it up. Normally I don't comment on the story or criticize the author because they know better than I but I'm going to have to for this.
Now I'm not a good writer, my grammar is poor, my spelling is full of errors and my pacing is often to fast, however one thing I can do is tell a story and buddy you just screwed up big time. If you add humans or any other plot element you have to build up to it otherwise you leave the audience with a sense of: 'WTF just happened?'
If you want to add humans you can't just plop them in and call it a day, you have to give backstory or at least drop a hint in previous chapters that lead up to humans in equestria. At the moment you're still in the world building part of the story, this is the time you establish the setting, characters, characture personalities and even the plot of the story. Another thing is the idea that Twilight loses both her magic and Discords completely defeats Discords original point of doing this so chaos might survive and renders the original premise of the story redundant. The problem with this story is you are pushing it along to fast and with not enough established for the readers to understand what's actually happening.
As I said I normally don't complain but this is to big a screw up for me to leave without trying to help. My advice would be to go back and rewright the ending of this chapter and focus on developing Twilights personality and powers as a Draconequus. Another idea is to instead of simply placing the humans there use foreshadowing to hint that humans will be coming to Equestria maybe by using Twilights new Draconequus powers or by some other means . However the best advice to give is to wait on sending the humans to Equestria for a while.
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Actually guys, I believe that he didn’t just throw them in willy nilly, Twilight’s coma-dream of Gods who will wreak vengance upon mortals could have been the setup. Yes, he could have explained that a bit more than he has, but if he plans to keep it to mostly Twilight Sparkle’s point-of-view, than a worldbuilding of something that Twilight does not know would defeat the purpose of that.
9067963
when is next update on this story?
9067963
update?
More of this story please
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
감사합니다 for the good story and since you said Korean I thought many you would like to know that Boss in Korean is 사장님 pronounced (sa jang nim). First Korean word is pronounced (gom[gam] saw[sa] nee[ni] da[da]) it means thank you.
Interesting story, would like to see more of it.