You thought A Day To Remember was the end of Twilights willingness to take on the task that the Princess entrusted Twilight, you were wrong. Trust me it gets better.
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Carmack21
Joined 16th Apr, 2012 ·
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Interesting, a Twidash. Ugh...Rainbow has to ship with everything. We need less Appledash, Flutterdash, Raridash, Pinkiedash, or any Dash romantic-related story. Anyways good story, not good enough for a favorite, but I'll give it a like.
It's takeing me time, but I want to extand my deepest gratitude to thos who've liked or favorited this sequel and the prequel. Thank you!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/096/044/trollface.jpg?1296494117
liked the story
I'm pretty sure that I read and enjoyed your previous fic, but I couldn't get through this. There were just too many spelling and grammatical errors for me to want to spend my time reading it.
"So are you comming to bed..." -coming
"To late." -Too (x2)
"...and yet she felt jealouse of it as well." -jealous
"...warm suculent breath..." -succulent
"...the lavender pony made a sly move that it caught Dash off guard." -Drop the "it."
"...the royal princesess presance?" -princess's (or princess', or if you meant both princesses, then princesses's or princesses'), presence
"...as though the answer too her question..." -to
"...used her mistical powers..." -mystical
"...no trace of it's pressance." -presence
"...spell i've learned..." -I've
"...the field from leaveing." -leaving
"Twilight fiddiged to creep back..." -fidgeted
"...although knowing which step they were at that point." -although she knew which step they were at at that point.
"...as she quickly smoothered Twilight." -smothered
And that brings us to the halfway point in this chapter. There are probably a few more errors in that section that I missed, but I was just noting what jumped out at me. So basically, you need an editor or proofreader. And I take back what I said about there being too many issues with it for me to spend my time reading it, since I got a little carried away in editing and ended up reading it anyhow.
I'll keep tracking this story, and I'll check back later to see if it's more readable.
:(
963780
Ya'h know you could thank NikitaKitten for his/her time to point out those edits?
Please get someone to proof-read and edit before you upload.
964275 i did, i thanked him and assured that i have a friend helping me, i sent him a private message thanking him for his advice. and asked if he could point it out in the future.
964350
Great to hear, sorry if I sound like an asshole it's just that when people take there own time pointing out edits to the author and the author doesn't really thank them for it, it grinds my gears.
965336No no I see what u mean, I would feeel god dang awful if I did that, and btws you didn't sound like an ass.
Let's see, there are many things that are wrong with this story. But, none of the problems are major, and all can, and most likely will, be fixed in due time, once you acquire sufficient experience in the art of the pen.
Also, completely unrelated, but Twidash~!
967515 I think you mean Completely related OH YEA!!!!!
BTWs, i have to admit something to everyone/everypony l:P, this story might take awhile, but i really acquire a select few to help me, shoot me a message and ill send you the next chapter of the story to get your opinions
Before I take an extended break, I'll post two more chapters, each with atleast a thousand words. Oh I'm open to any ideas. Doesn't mean I'll use them, but I'm open to it.
Well, I like this so far. Keep it up.
992700 Im just woundering, did u read the prequel?
993250 .... There was a prequel?
993307 Eeyup. A Day To Remember
993339
Well, it appears that I have derped. I shall go read it when I can.
Well, now this makes much more sense.
i want moar please!
All this bring a tear to my eye, I'm so thankful to everyone who is supporting me, I'm trying to reach out to everyone and personelly thank them, but it's hard so......
THANK YOU ALL!!!
I feel like finnishing chapter 3 tonight, but it might take 2 days
http://static.fimfiction.net/images/avatars/48019_64.jpg this gives me inspiration. Thank you mlp brony 27
...every say of sunlight, I had no idea the sun could talk
997689 my bad can u tell me where that is, it's suppose to say Ray.
1000967 This caused every say of sunlight to refract into bright colors and gleam on everything with in a 200 foot radius. Fn + F3 my friend
1002662Thx
1004057 Oops. Sorry, I don't know how I missed that.
1010327Dont worry:)
Well, I did not expect this to get that explicit.
Been up for 3700hours
3700 hours = 204 days roughly
You havent slept for 204 days?
1700 words / 204 days = 8.5 words per day
Uhhh...yeah...
1023314 Well, its military time, i was raised in a military family
did you really think that actually meant 3,700 hrs. military time is 24hrs, but when u actually list it goes such as this EX)
0100= 1am
0200= 2am
0300= 3am
0400= 4am
0500= 5am
1300= 1pm
1400= 2pm
1500= 3pm
1600= 4pm
1700= 5pm
3700= 37 hours= one day and 13hrs
plus the time i took rereading it 5 times
1024246 I know, I was being silly.
Also, YOU HAVE DOUBLED MY FOLLOWERS
1026562 Your Welcome, im trying to do it with every body, it shows that i am reaching out, and looking or reading their stories
its nice.
1020672HMM what ever do u mean?
1027233
Exactly what I said
1027249 in your opinion, did u like it or hate it?
1027258
NO, NOT THE FLUTTER TEARS! I dont hate it, I didnt expect it.static.fjcdn.com/comments/not+to+sound+biased+and+don+t+get+me+wrong+fluttershy+_a4eab1f9b343677b3d92a618a48e1316.png
1027323 hmm....... I wounder what every one else thought?
1027337
pretty sure thats your cue to start commenting.
Yes, quite........ Umm, guys? Im
1027365 pretty please
sorry i couldnt get back to you from the chapter you sent me b4, i couldnt even read it. ive been doing things... sorry
1028388 don't worry, be happy.
it's alright, it's ok but what'd u think?
1.Hey everyone who reads this,
2. I your reading this, then you should know I might be stopping this story, I just can't figure out how to end it:(
3. I'm just not sure yet:/
4. Mexican sumbreuro mustachioe man €[:{
Well that escalated quickly....
1063895Eeyup
Sorry everyone for not posting a story, family emergency. In 4 days there shall be another chapter..... Yea it will answer alot of questions, yes it will be longer, and yes it might be the second to last chapter. But it'll be awesome!!!!!
I enjoyed this. Also, I think I'm
first
I enjoyed this. Also, I think I'm first