• Member Since 16th Aug, 2016
  • offline last seen Wednesday

Sunspotter


Writer, Reader, [X]punk entuseast, absolute nerdlord. Your best friend forever if you love a good book!

Comments ( 40 )

And amazing start to what should be a great story.

Poor Diamond, stuck with Sol parents, given a twisted view of things, stuck thinking that he's wrong, evil, broken.... He really needs hugs, lots and lots of hugs!

It's live! It's finally live! :hear:

Totally lived up to its hype and is amazing ;3 Can't wait to read more~

Oh man, finally! I've been so curious about the other Clocktower and this seems so cute and sweet and wow I want to see what happens to these two!

The stallion unslotted the bookmark, placing it on the small coffee table as he re-read the last few lines to get reacquainted with his position in the story. Bitter Root was just about to take Chrysanthemum down into his private chambers below the castle, fully expecting the revelation to end their still budding relationship on the spot. But it didn’t.

Ih find this hilarious because one of my own OCs is named Chrysanthemum, and he's a Lunar Guard Marine. XD

Kinky hugs are best hugs - gonna read this tonight and I'm sure I'll enjoy it immensely! :pinkiehappy:

Well, was seeing some hype for this story and decided to read and drop some feedback on here.

And I have to say... I found this to be really difficult to read. Individual scenes seem to bleed into one another and phase out so quickly without notice or a line break. And there wasn't really much to offer in those scenes to really get hooked to the narrative. Like, an example, I was reading about Double speaking to a therapist, only for a paragraph or two to go to a flash back about Party Favor. Which then flash forward(?) to the plane ride. And I'm even pondering if the therapist scene was also a flashback. It also doesn't help that within those individual scenes, with as much "tell" that there was, I was still left feeling like a lot of what Double is going through isn't being explored enough.

In a nutshell, all of that made this story boring to read but serviceable at best.

8449101
This is a slow burn fic, so exactly what Diamond's going through is going to be explored in much more depth later. Otherwise, is there anything you'd suggest for me to improve?

8449101 Like he said, this is just the first chapter of a long, very slow burn fic, so not exploring the issues.... that's what the entire story is about, give it time.

The way things kind of blend together, is also a rather decent point to the narrative, as this is Diamond's thoughts, and he is just that messed up and that lost. Even his inner monologues and flashbacks jumble together on a kind of rabbit trail/free association as he tries to make sense of himself.

Is it basically just giving the reader the exposition needed to understand what is going on and set up the story? Yeah. But done in away that is perfectly in character and works for also establishing aspects of him, it is a lot of tell, but how it's being told also does a lot to show us these aspects of Diamond.

*Comes even though Kiri said not to* Whoa, colt-cuddling. My favorite

Gay ponies are fun~ let's see where this goes~

Lxion this story was 10/10 and I just love how it showed how some households will think that beeing gay is something wrong when it can be completely natural can't wait to read the rest

Woohoo! Gotta get my gay shipping fix. <3

Heh heh, "Dockview Cafe"...

8452572
I honestly wish I could say I was clever enough for that to be intentional

A well written story, though I felt like this chapter was going through a bit of static before it cleared up

this is a good start to an enjoyable read, I like your style of writing. I can't wait for the next chapters.:derpytongue2:

Good so far. Can't wait to read more!

Would read it on here, but I already did when helping edit. Have a :pinkiehappy: from me!~

How can hugs be kinky?

8722077
Keep reading and you'll find out :raritywink:

Poor Diamond. Hope Party Favor can help him purge the venom his parents fed him.

Was nice. I enjoy romance

How did I forget to like this before?!?

*fixes*

How on earth did I forget there was a new chapter? I *adore* high-quality gayness, regular and concentrated!

Bashful colts EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

It's still so weird to see the name "Chrysanthemum" (and, by extension, "Chrys") being used for a submissive. XD

Excellent chapter, by the way. I eagerly await more.

8722707
Then for your own mental health, I highly suggest you avoid the full write-up for A Garden of Leather Roses I'm planning :p

8723647
Thanks for the warning. I'm not gonna listen to it, but the thought is appreciated. XD

Is this story still being worked on?
Edit: bad autocorrect.

jxj

Oh man, I didn't expect to see this continued at all. I have a little bit of a list at the moment, but I'll get around to this relatively soon.

10850795
Thanks for the kind comment ^^ this story is actually finished waaaay farther out than this, i'm going to do my best to try posting chapters weekly for as long as i can!

Gotten to read the story finally, it's fun so far. I wonder how the pet plat and bondage at the moment. At the moment I am not to sure of the type of personatily you have in mind for Party Favor seeing that they were originally on opocid sides when the Mane 6 were in Our Town bieing respectivelly Starlight's right hoove lieutent how ended leaving the charge to over throw her vs dicident rule breaker that took the fall for the others member who got further brainwasho/hoerced into submition/compliance. I wonder if this could play in to their sub and dom relationship you seem to have in mind for them?

10917716
so uh, their personalities are going to be a bit mixed up for the first few chapters because as embarrassing as it was to admit, i never actually watched S5 until we were actively in S9, and i started writing perma well before that, before we actually went back to the village and saw that they chose to stay there. IIRC normally starlight wouldn't be allowed as a CTS member due to her Crimes against Devotion at the village, but she's getting some degree of "hey, you really shouldn't have brainwashed an entire village, that's incredibly fucked up" before the big forgiveness hat gets placed on her.

but now that i have all of pony committed to memory, that dynamic is going to be at the core of their relationship. Diamond's guilt over his past and his actions, and well... party's kinda his own thing. just wait until you see Brian 2 :3

10920484
Looking forward to it.

Well those were fun chapter, not much to say, but I am happy that you see to really be inspire in keeping working on this fic again keep it up.

10951882
thank you! i'm probably going to be posting the first lore chapter some time this week (this story is going to have an alternative, slightly updated versions of the classic CTS manual style chapters) but they're at least going to be worth reading because they're from west's version of the manual ^^

Login or register to comment