Months after the Fall Formal, a trio of girls show up at Canterlot High and immediately cause dissent among the student body. The Rainbooms are the only ones who can put a stop to it, with the help of a certain Equestrian Princess. However, will they be able to handle this new threat as easily?
The Dazzlings are a group of sirens, born with the ability to bend others to their will through power of song. However, there's something not quite right about them. They're never far from one another and the way they speak of themselves is certainly... unorthodox. What could these powerful creatures be hiding?
After the Battle of the Bands, the Rainbooms go out in search of the Dazzlings in the hopes of extending their hand in friendship. What they find gives them a bit of a shock and will definitely take some time to get used to.
I really like this new take on it
Intrigued to see what will happen to the rest of the sirens, if the Dazzlings were the only three known to Equestria and the whole race (or most of it, assuming most accept their modules) is immortal.
8133550 Thanks! I figured starting from the before the beginning would be my best bet.
8133580 Yep, if you were rewriting the original short anyway, makes a lot of sense to go back further so we get a broader picture.
But I really like that the other two existing within Adagio wasn't made out to be a huge secret or plot twist beyond about the first thousand words, since everyone who read the old version would have already known it.
8133608 Yeah. I figured, I would compromise the situation. Have enough foreshadowing to keep new readers entertained while not so much that returning readers will groan at all of the obvious hints. Kinda just gonna try and balance it out as much as possible.
Looking good so far!
Only thing I would say is that the transition between the dream and the waking morning is a bit jarring, since, as far as we've seen in the story so far, the 'present day' is still during their time under the sea, so I at first thought the morning scene was set during that time as well. Looking back, there are plenty of clues, like describing her gasping for air and dripping with sweat, neither of which really work underwater. I wonder about adding in a few words about 'gasping for air with her lungs, rather than water through her gills, and feeling the brief, familiar disconnect as her thinking adjusted itself to the human body she now wore instead of the siren she remembered being in her dreams.'? Only if you feel that adds to it, though, it's probably just me being confused where others would get it straight away
But this seems a really good take on it, with plenty of original moments, and a good vibe between the three of them (I assume this bit is pre-Battle of the Bands, since they haven't had a stray thought about wishing they could sing for stuff?). I don't think I've heard them mention being around for Jack the Ripper before, either, that's a nice touch.
8137529 Sorry about that. I added in some extra clarification to be sure it was obvious she was in Equestria in the nightmare and in the human world now. I also took your suggestion into consideration when changing a few things, so I hope if you read again, the transition is a little smoother. Thanks for that. Even if it is just you being confused, it's good to remind me that not everyone will see exactly what I see when reading.
And yes, definitely pre-Battle at the moment.
Hey, just out of curiosity, why does Aria stutter when she tries to say morale?
Wait, what?!
8138231 They had a run-in with Jack the Ripper.
8138216 This is more a prologue, so they're younger at the time. Just something to show their age in comparison to the other Sirens around them.
8138318 Huh. I was actually gonna guess that, but I thought it sounded too obvious.
This is really interesting so far! Can't wait to see more!
This is really interesting so far! Can't wait to see more!
So far so good. Really interested in the upcoming interactions between the sirens and rainbooms.
GLHF!
8194798
8143327 Thanks so much!
This looks pretty interesting. Hope to see more soon!
You should continue it! I'm really enjoying the story! Keep up the good work!
Oh my God...Aria and Sonata weren't real?!
Cue Murphy's Law.
It has! Happy to see it updated though.
If the fic ends here I may be forced to projectile vomit at my monitor. Seriously though, I'd say continue it. I'm a sucker for happy or at least hopeful endings, and right now this looks like a pretty dismal note to end the fic on.
Been a good fic either way, though.
8279502
Thank you. I'll try to keep delivering.
8279601
Nope. Not in the slightest.
8279606
I'm gonna have so much fun!
8279681
To prevent your monitor from suffering such a terrible fate, I'll see what I can do!
Said the Princess of Friendship
I'd leave it here, personally, the narrative has a nice arc to it, starting with Aria and Sonata becoming separate, and finishing with them going back in. I'm not sure how well having those two internalised would mesh with the story of them going back to CHS, so I'd be inclined to write a sirens back at CHS story as a separate tale, if that's what you're wanting to tell, one without the 3-in-1 angle
8280385
You Sir/Madam/Unspecified, are a saint.
8280773
Yeah, it wasn't one of Twilight's opportune lines.
I do feel it's a good rounding. I'm happy you like the expansion and, frankly, I'm proud of myself for pulling something like this off (I had zero faith I could come up with anything good for it
). Still, I think something slight might work as a good ending, tie everything up. Maybe a few chapters detailing Adagio's rocky start back at CHS and then an epilogue of how she's getting along. I feel like that would be a nice wrap up. It would smooth everything out.
Though, I may take you up on writing that separate Sirens Back at CHS storyline sometime in the future.
time will tell.
8281042
I try.
WELP IM INTERESTED.
And then, they all got frozen in time, for the story went on hiatus.
Really wish it wasn’t, but them’s the breaks. Hopefully this glorious work comes back before G5 is out.
Oh snap! This is going to be good!
Please continue this.