Have you ever wondered "Where did Spike come from? Where did Celestia get his egg?" Well, what if that question was a mystery no longer? When visiting Princess Cadence, Shining armor and their little baby, Flurry heart, Spike stumbles across a particular crystal statue in a closet in the Crystal castle. When he asks about it he discovers something that prompts him to run into the arctic north without telling Twilight.
There he meets a stranger, someone he never thought he would in the ruins of the Dragon's Quarry.
Chapters (19)
Oh my God a Spike origin story! Yes!
I am interested in the concept, however you have a consistent issue:
It looks like each of these bolded statements corresponds to the speaker in the next paragraph, and they should be in the same paragraph as the speaker for clarity's sake.
Those aren't the only two examples, but I would suggest grouping them like that to help with speaker clarity.
It also has a group of people talking back and forth, and without clear action or dialogue tags it can get a little unclear as to who is talking.
Also you're missing a direct address comma before Spike's name in "Because it is Spike!"
Wow, Cadence was kind of a jerk to Spike.
7240417 Thank you for the advice, I'll try and pay more attention to that
good story so fare I looked forward to the next chapters
So looking forward to the next chapters. Keep it up G <3
I can't help but feel like spike is going to be the long lost son of the empress
You should probably have a better split between scenes. Either a horizontal rule line, or at least some narration that is like "Elsewhere, Twilight..."
I wonder where the dragon that enticed Spike to go with is. Seems like the right person who would actually know he is out of place and could explain things before a dragon emperor decides that his disrespect deserves punishment.
This feels more like Coraline now...
dang it I want to know what happened
If the OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
7378493 hmm well... the specific ones would be Sard, Splinter, Punching and Crush... Sard and Crush would have a deep, scruffy voice, Punching would be more sassy and Splinter would be a hyperactive child.
I think spike was stolen by one of the princess
please tell me that the princess of the sun caused this!? no she did not take spikes egg!
7378493 Well Sard is described as being a father like elder with a bit of a temper. So I imagine his voice being similar to Ozai from Avatar.
Punchin however seems very laid back, and I think is female, so for her I keep hearing Wendy from Gravity Falls.
I agree with the narrator of this chapter: no mother should ever have to watch a monster kill their children die right after being born.
did Celestia started to hunt the earth dragons? basically, chase and harassed I don't think they would hide that quick it had to have built up bad deeds and no explanation plus worrying over safety
Shouldn't the "stink of pony" bee deep down in Spike due to Twilight hatching him? Also shouldn't he also "stink" of Fire Dragon, I can't imagine Sard and Torch aren't at the least rivials
I have a feeling Empress Jade GAVE Celestia the egg and Celestria assumed Sombra had utterly destroyed the Earth Dragons and wiped them out. She had after all just seen the entirety of the Crystal Empire vanish into nothingness. The Ponies naturally fled back to Equestria, they though the Empire and the Dragons had just been annihilated and the north is a hostel environment, letting their own troops dire from exposer would have helped nothing.
poor earth Dragons no creatures ponies or Dragons should have to go threw that
Sombra buck you
pre11.deviantart.net/3ad0/th/pre/i/2012/321/9/0/king_sombra_by_tsitra360-d5lacsv.jpg
World building/character building...
Crush? AND she's orange.......
I see what you did there.....
Now I want some orange soda..
I wonder if Celestia saw a version of spike kind being a threat to her ponies? but ended up self-filling her vision with the stunts she pulled against his race earning that threat.
Celestia had no right to keep Spikes heritage from him at the very least he could of taken some pride knowing he help beat the monster who almost killed his race
Most of this reasoning behind what happened after the attack is pretty obvious.
Celesita obviously arrived after the battle was over and assumed all the earth dragons were dead and Spike was all that was left. No point telling him his heritage when his entire race is gone.
The earth dragons staying underground rather then asking for help from another kingdom is iffy though. I can only assume their kingdom had no ties with any other kingdom beyond the Crystal Empire. Thus the combination of the Crystal Empire being removed and Celestia taking their last royal egg made them believe their was no they could turn to for help.
PLEASE let there be an update soon
You've got two chapter 8's.
I can't help but notice your saying"starburst" instead of "sunburst ".
Whats with the use of the word "they" as the adjective describing someone of an unknown gender? Actually, her gender is well known at this point:
I'm 100% sure "empress" refers to a female ruler.
But then who the hell refers to a single intruder as "them"? Normal people point at an intruder and shout "stop him/her" not "stop them" unless there's more than one of them.
This attempt to use gender-neutral pronouns to describe the intruder was both pointless and nonsensical.
Wow! This is incredibly intriguing and powerful! I know Celestia has some sort of reason for what she did, like protecting the egg till around the time the Empire would return and allowing the earth dragons to rebuild in solitude and away from further threats by removing mention of them and making them a legend. I know there's a reason, but the doubt is really palpable here. Great work!
7446805 They said "Empress Jade" referring to the statue. That doesn't necessarily mean they were referring to themselves.
This is intriguing.
Keeping secrets destroys friendships.
Which has the highest dragon authority, Emperor or Lord?
7454359 ain't that the truth, I'M TALKING TO YOU, SOLAR TYRANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Admitely, Spike was given to Twilight when she was a foal (you don't allow children to raise babies, but pets are ok) and his entire life revolves about housechores and assisting Twilight's wants and needs, with no friends ( outside Sparkle's circle), regulated education or job prospect on his own.
Spike fits the image of a house slave, albeit a trusted, accommodated oye.
he has a point about how the ponies got there so fast
either they knew Sombra was planning his attack 
in which case they should of helped
or the ponies were just coming over to visit unlikely but possible
7457502 Or they already got word or threat of the coup Sombra did and were going to confirm. Or they felt him accept the dark magic or whatever. Some reason it seems like Celestia and/or Luna can have premonitions about the future.