• Member Since 8th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 9th, 2020

Oldtakufanboy


Original username Zoddtheimmortalone. I'm a fan of anime, but I enjoy the classics more. As for My Little Pony, I may not watch it as much, but I do like the show and I also love EG

Comments ( 53 )

The pacing is way too fast. Slow it up some and work on character development. You write well, but I would also recommend an editor.

Nice but a lil but to fast suggest getting an editor though bb

This is a good story so far and I can't wait to read more of it.:pinkiehappy:

Reads so fast my mph gage can't register ...
I agree with Scarheart that both characters need a bit more development
But that's just a small speed bump
Shall follow & patiently idle for more ...

7086969

The second chapter will have them talking to one another about each other.

Well this story is cool very lemony but cool I like how much zest is in this story... I like puns

Yes finally I can't wait to see what happens next and hopefully now that she has a better understanding of what romance really is?

Bad link on music video towards the end ...
You tuber closed account so no vid ...

Ahhh, Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty... and the drivers completely nuts.:rainbowlaugh:

Well this story is very cool please make more

*<>* aww no clop ...you tricked us ...even Chryssi wanted it ... Poky nips & ear licks don't lie ..

I felt a shiver down my spine and felt goosebumps.

~ awkward boner confirmed ... Good luck sleepin ...

7208397 Wet dreams cometh!

Can't wait to see Josh's mom meet Chrysalis. That should be interesting to see.

We got coke, we got the mentos-
We got the tayyytos
Heh, yeah, we got tayytos...

Where is my clop!? I want my 30 mins of my life back!!

"FALSE ADVERTISING!!!" - Tallahassee

7259335

There will be soon, don't worry

This is a awesome story thanks you for this great story

7272477

You make it sound like it's over, but it's not.

I thought it was a dream then i thought he was awake and yeah but he would be sent to a ward cuz he would should like a nut job but that was kinda hot but not when they wanted to eat thim

A bit fast, but I like it so far. Chryssie is being much nicer than usual. And I like the main character's thoughts.

Maybe Chryssie just needed a vacation. It seems to have done wonders for her temper.

Can't wait until the next part!

Aww, his boxers are a tent now.

Oh thank god it was just a dream and this Chryssie is still quite nice.

Comment posted by Starlight Nova deleted May 17th, 2017

7458934
If that's what you like to think

7460573 the story lives. Nice chapter btw

Snrk, I bet he had to do a lot calming exercises in his head to avoid going into tent mode.

"I'd like to skull fuck him," said another changeling.
That part made my skin crawl.

D'awwww~ That was cute.

Great to see Chrysi being nice, can't wait for more.

Who wants a girlfriend, that likes everything that Josh took her?

My heart melted from the cuteness that is this story. ~hugs

Come on, dude. Folks may look at you like you're a creep if you hang out in a lingerie store by yourself, but if you're there with an attractive woman all they're thinking is that a hot chick plans to let you see her in her underwear.

And FYI, ''D' cup' is not sufficient for buying a bra. You need the number (circumference of the chest under the bust) and the cup size (difference between the under the bust measurement and the circumference of the bust at its broadest point converted to letters. 1" = 'A', etc.)

7992980 Remember that this is a story and not all audiences understand how everything works, as an author you must choose how detailed you want to be to make it easier for the target audiences to understand.

7415760 Correct yourself, its "Thou's boxers have cometh a tent."

Take Your Damn Boxers Off!

10/10 Best quote.

"I'd like to skull fuck him,"

I will wait longer...

"I'm Jessie," said the eldest.
"I'm Jane," said the girl with slick black hair.

Thank god it did not read out as
"I'm Jessie," said the eldest.
"I'm James,"...

8055887
Not a big Pokémon fan. It's overrated

When will the hiatus end?

USER!! We require more chapters as we all enjoy the story...or did you forget how this story was gonna go?

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