• Member Since 8th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 9th, 2020


Original username Zoddtheimmortalone. I'm a fan of anime, but I enjoy the classics more. As for My Little Pony, I may not watch it as much, but I do like the show and I also love EG

Comments ( 15 )

Perhaps some editing here and there but all in all a good clop. Keep up the good work!

Thanks for the advice and thanks for enjoying it

I love to read any story with Photo Finish as the main focus, this one is no exception. I liked the set up, as it certainly had potential to be interesting. I think the biggest critique I have (ignoring the some grammar issues) is the descriptions, and pacing. There's a lot of telling, rather than showing. Things just kinda happen a little too quickly to believe.

Our main character, Greg, suddenly starts telling his life story to a model. Which comes off forced compared to a real casual conversation. It feels like the extent of detail is a little unnecessary. As well as other little bits of Greg's past that come up that feel more like random trivia. Or references he makes.

We are told about Greg and Photo Finish's current relationship as a worker and boss. But we don't get to see it ourselves in action. I can see how people may say she drops her emotional issue, and jumps on Greg very boldly too quickly. (saying she loves him like her own son, or husband, which makes me wonder how old she is meant to be here?) But being that Finish is a very bold mare and literally wastes no time on anything she seems to deem unimportant. It clashes on both ends. But with how it's written, I'm not convinced she actually loves him. It's as sudden to Greg as it is to the readers.

Greg himself just goes with the flow. I want to believe he was just overwhelmed by her, and wanted to keep his position. (At least that's how I'm taking it.) so this whole love thing just feels one sided. Photo Finish is lonely, seeks company to wherever she can find it, says some sweet words to Greg, and boom. She forgets about her sadness (for now) and has a bit of fun in the bedroom for times to come. (When you put it that way, it sounds almost terrible, but I'm looking far too deep into it. Sorry.)

I think the best part of this story was Finish undressing to her bra. As that felt like an actual teasing moment. Which is just my own kink, but whatever.

Over all, you had a lot of the elements you needed to make this a really good story, the results just ended up a little to rushed for me. I do hope others give your story a read, as I think some Photo Finish fans will appreciate another story with best pony.

Thank you for your review. I really like it.

There aren't that many Photo finish romance story.

Best accent ever... I suddenly have the urge to go play Medieval 2 Total War as the Holy Roman Empire now, how strange.

Video game jokes aside, grammar was on par, storyline was short, but explored well, and the descriptions were very good. Also, that accent was the best I've seen on Photo Finish, so props for that.

Glad you enjoyed. As for her dialogue, I had fun with that

7993508 If it's not too much trouble, I'd absolutely love it if you did a bonus chapter or expanded on this somehow. This was very well done and I love Photo Finish, but we don't have much of her...:ajsleepy:

"I don't haf cooties, now eat." That part made me laugh out loud.

Aww, this story really touched my heart. Wonderful work

I just hope that when she lost her coltfriend, that it was longer than a few months before she started to get into his pants. That is if the other one died, I think I don'T mind it if she just felt like she really get along with him.

He is a bit to sorry for knowing in which direction this is supposed to go.

HHhhmmm not bad, but for some reason I remembered more feels than I had when I readed the whole story.

"How about ve get more frisky," she says in a sultry voice.

"F-frisky?" I said wide-eyed.

"How about you take off zat shirt,"

If you want to make some US Army humor of this, imagine Photo Finish knife-handing the human with every “How about”.

Thanks for writing about one of my favorite Milf Ponies there so much potential to work with her but few do anything about it. One she was a former Model herself many fans believe that she found Fleur De Lis and point out that Fluttershy beauty comes from being demure. Instead of acting like a self absorb twat she is shown several times that she understanding and finds the best in ponies by bringing out the best side.

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