A Changeling Queen In My Apartment
written by Oldtakufanboy
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The pacing is way too fast. Slow it up some and work on character development. You write well, but I would also recommend an editor.
Nice but a lil but to fast suggest getting an editor though bb
This is a good story so far and I can't wait to read more of it.
Reads so fast my mph gage can't register ...
I agree with Scarheart that both characters need a bit more development
But that's just a small speed bump
Shall follow & patiently idle for more ...
7086969
The second chapter will have them talking to one another about each other.
Well this story is cool very lemony but cool I like how much zest is in this story... I like puns
A bit fast, but I like it so far. Chryssie is being much nicer than usual. And I like the main character's thoughts.
Beuwbs