• Member Since 27th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 7th, 2022

Tank Drill


Retired Brony, if you come across this account, I welcome you. My stories are dated, but show my writing progress. Have fun with that.

T
Source

Spike a has a secret and has been keeping it that way from when he was born to present day. To put it very bluntly, he is the reincarnation of Abas, King of all Dragons. Celestia told him to never reveal it until his fifteenth birthday and it so happens to be that very day. What will his friends think of him now?

Construction Criticism is encouraged. Don't dislike it without a reason, thank you.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )

If Spike's Dragon King how will Dragon Lady Ember reacts to this?

Comment posted by IAmApe deleted Jul 14th, 2016

7388299 Who do you think has to fill in as Tatsumaki, the ESPer. While dash might become a Genos.

Look, I know what you're trying to do here, but it would be better if you...think it through. I love OnePunch Man, and I sense you do too, but this is sad to look at. It could work as it's own story if you leave the blatant ripoffs from OPM. Aside from that, the story itself needs work, the passing is bad and confusing, it feels heavyhanded and hollow most of the time.

I would recomend to take this story back to the working table and upgrade it.

7389284
Thank you for your concern. I've been on a declining curve when it comes to writing new content. Plus, I have no idea how to fix it. Since I'm dyslexic (the inability to read or write), I cannot understand what to fix. That's why I've been trying to find an editor after weeks that turned into months, then months turned into almost a whole year. So this story, in particular, was in the deepest creases of my library of stories to release. I took a look at it and thought it barely had any problems (which I fixed at least, I think...) and released it on FimFiction. If you know ANYONE that is willing to help out (apparently) a handicap writer. Please, for the love of God tell me. It's strange to see negative comments (which don't affect me emotionally) and they don't tell me what to fix. Like for example IAmApe commented to read the One Punch Man manga instead. Again, I don't know how to fix ANY of it. In my mind, it's a non-perfect, but an average story, however, the readers don't understand what I'm saying.

7390381 I see. I would recommend asking Semaj, he is an awesome editor and could help you better yourself despite your handicap. If he's not too busy he'll be able to give you hand. Cheers and good luck!

This needs a sequel!

7909655 I deeply apologize miss! :fluttershysad:

is this gonna get a sequal orrr...?

8109756 There will not be a sequel, but the idea is still in my head so who knows. I just working on a project and I've been anxious to prepare it for the website to see. It's complete, but it was rushed in the writing. So, without an editor, things are going slow at the moment. I'm still here though.

Not bad, and I don't know much about OPM, so it was still good without it.

OMG ITS SAITAMA SENSEI BUT WHERES GENOS OR TATSUMAKI

Pretty fun thing to read.

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