"NO! NOT AGAIN!"

by Dr Atlas

Bad Planning

“Got any eights?”

“Twig, that’s the third time you’ve asked that. I doubt Stan has.”

“Go fish…”

Shawn pointed at Stan, who was sitting across the table along with Phil, Carson, and Eric, all of whom were holding cards with their magic, except for Twig, who was holding them in his hooves. “Told ya, Twig.” Shawn said.

Twig merely shrugged and reached into the middle of the pile of cards, grabbing one. “Aw...still no wishy.”

Carson rolled his eyes. “Gee, I wonder why.” He looked at Shawn. “Shawn, any tens?” Shawn sighed and levitated his ten to Carson, who then put it and his other ten on the table. “Niiiice.”

Shawn sighed, not really caring about this card game. “Eric, any queens?”

Eric shook his head. “Nope, only queen I got is currently in her room.” He adjusted his posture and looked at Phil. “How long do you think she’s been in her room anyway?”

Phil shrugged. “Eh, bout a week, maybe...nine days.” He sighed. “I tell ya, the queen has not been doing good recently.”

“Not to mention her voice went a little...weird after she fell.” Carson looked at the other brothers. “Don’t tell me I’m the only one who’s noticed this.”

Stan nodded. “I hear it too, it’s like she hit her throat and now she doesn’t have that ‘double voice’ going on anymore.”

Phil shrugged. “Eh, I kinda noticed it, but it ain’t really that big of a deal.”

Eric chuckled. “I’ll tell you what’s a big deal, her ways of ruling.”

The changelings all chuckled and nodded in agreement, except for Twig, who continued fiddling with his cards. “Yup,” Shawn said. “Never seen her act so weird over these past few months.” Shawn adjusted the cards and continued. “It’s been, like, what? A year now.”

Twig tilted his head. “A year from what? my birthday? Cause that’s coming up in a week!”

Shawn glared at him. “One: your birthday is still a long ways away, and two: I’m talking about the last plan we had.”

Phil set his cards face down on the table and rubbed his head with both his hooves. “Oh, for queen’s sake, can we not bring this up!”

Shawn shifted in his seat. “I’m not bringing it up, I’m just sayin’ that-”

“You’re just saying that you can’t let something go after all this time!” Phil stood up. “Guys, you heard what Chrysalis said: never look at the failures we’ve done.”

Twig raised his hoof. “But we have so many to look at, s’kinda hard not to.”

“Twig’s right,” Stan said. “We’ve been through so much in the past few years, I’d be surprised to see this generation make it to the next.”

“What kind of attitude is that?” Eric asked. “We’ve made it through a lot over the past few years.”

“But this is a lot of a lot we’ve done.” Stan said, making Twig’s brain momentarily stop.

“Uh...what?” Twig said, tapping his head in an attempt to get it going again.

Stan set his cards on the table. “I’m just saying that the swarm has been in more trouble than ever before over this past year, and right now, the only thing we’ve done to help ourselves is...is…” Stan looked at his brothers. “Uh...h-have we done anything?”

The group of changelings looked at one another before Twig raised his hoof again. “Wait! My brain is working!”

“When did it stop?” Carson asked with a snicker.

Twig didn’t notice the insult and smiled. “We’ve done tons of stuff! From cleaning the cave, to tending to the hatchlings, to scouting for food, to-”

“I don’t think that’s what Stan’s talking about, Twig.” Shawn got an all fours and stepped back. “What he’s saying is that we’re practically digging our graves here, we’re just delaying the inevitable, we’re stalling for time, we’re trying to throw more fuel in the fire, we’re adding more sand to the hourglass with the burnt ashes of our siblings so we can-”

“OKAY! WE GET IT!” Phil yelled out, breathing heavily afterwards. “We’re dying; what a shocker! It’s not like the queen didn’t tell us about food shortages, or scouts going missing, or her eggs not hatching regularly.” Phil then tossed his cards in the pile in the middle of the table. “I’ve said it before, stop worrying about the past and just think toward the future.”

“We don’t have a future to look toward, Phil.” Shawn said coldly, throwing his cards in the pile as well. “As far as I see it, it’s gonna take a miracle to save us now.”

“Miracles don’t grow on trees.” Carson said, sliding his cards into the pile. “And if it’s like the trees outside our cave, we’re screwed.”

Eric and Stan decided to toss the cards in as well, leaving Twig to smile at his victory. “Woooo! I win!” Twig clapped his hooves, his cards tumbling to the table soon after.

“Sure you did…” Carson said sarcastically before turning to the rest of the changelings. “Come on, guys, lets-”

“MANDATORY MEETING IN THE CENTRAL CAVE!” All the bugs turned to where the voice echoed through the cave, groaning in annoyance. “REPEAT! ALL LINGS TO THE CENTRAL CAVE!”

Shawn started walking. “Wonder what this speech will be about.”

“Probably about the food being short.” Stan guessed. “...again.”

Twig jumped in between them. “Maybe it’s something good!”

“It’s never good.” Phil pointed out.

“Whelp.” Twig said. “Ya never know until you go!” He ran ahead with a smile on his face, his brothers doing the opposite.

The group of changelings eventually made their way into the main area of the cave, a swarm of other bugs were already inside, quietly chatting amongst themselves about what this announcement would be. They eventually found a spot and sat down while others that couldn’t hovered in the air.

Before long, a tall, slender, crown wearing queen started walking onto the top stage, looking at everyone. The talking came to a halt once the queen held her hoof in the air. After a short pause, Chrysalis cleared her throat and started her speech. “Greetings, my loyal subjects. I’m sure many of you are wondering why I called you here today.”

“We have a pretty rough idea…” Carson whispered, receiving a punch in the arm by Shawn seconds later.

“As you children know,” Chrysalis continued. “it has been quite a long time since...the attack.”

“You mean that one plan that you said would finally end our hunger?” One changeling said.

“The plan that would make us never worry about eating again?” Another questioned.

“The plan that was fool proof and, under your word, was guaranteed to-”

“SILENCE!” Chrysalis shouted, not wanting to hear it. “I know what I said, and I know it didn’t happen, but I assure you, I have a plan that will save our kind!”

Most of the changelings in the room were very sceptical. “You do?” Shawn said. “Well, what is it?”

Chrysalis smiled. “Let me first say that one of the scouts has some very useful information for us.” Chrysalis said

“Wait, a scout came back?” Stan said in surprise.

“Did Doomie finally find his way home?” Twig asked. “Because I don’t think he’d want to-”

“Addison!” Chrysalis yelled, making a male changeling from behind the stage yelp. “Tell them what you found out.” After some silence, Chrysalis looked at the shaking changeling and leaned her head toward the crowd. “Go ahead, child, tell them.”

The frail drone gulped and stepped onto the stage, shaking the entire time. “S-S-So...u-uh, I-I found out th-that, uh...w-when I was...w-when I...s-started looking for food a-a few months ago...I-I heard f-from a-a screaming st-stallion th-that a...a-a filly wh-who’s from th-the Crystal E-Empire was being b-born.”

“A filly, really?” One changeling said in disappointment.

“Not just any filly.” Chrysalis said, pushing the scout off the stage. “This filly is related to a certain mare and stallion that we know all too well.”

“Who’s that?” Twig asked. “OH! Is it purple one!”

Shawn shook his head. “No, Twig, that pony didn’t have a stallion around her.”

Twig tiled his head. “But I thought all mares had stallions, isn’t that how ponies work?”

“S’not always a stallion.” Carson said with a smirk. “Sometimes it’s even better.”

“Carson!” Stan yelled.

The bug laughed. “Oh, come on, how great would it be if two mares-”

“I’m not talking about Twilight!” Chrysalis yelled. “I’m talking about that precious pink princess and her idiot husband.”

One changeling raised his hoof. “So, that pink alicorn and Shining Moron are gonna have a baby?”

Chrysalis couldn’t help but smile at that. “Yes, child, it would seem the two are about to create something that would be all too perfect for our new plan.”

“Wait, it takes em’ that long to make a filly? It takes, like, weeks to make a couple batches of eggs. Why does it take this long for ponies?”

Even Chrysalis didn’t know the answer to that. “Ponies are very strange creatures. It would seem they need so much time in order to make one of their own.”

Twig nudged Shawn and whispered something that he’d never thought he’d say, “Um...Where do pony babies come from anyways?”

“Uh…” Shawn started fidgeting. “W-Well, you see, Twig...w-when two ponies have this, connection with each other-”

Carson stepped in between them. “They do it on a bed without protection and yell each other's names once the stallion releases his-”

Shawn shoved him out of the way and laughed nervously. “U-Uh, w-what he means is that...um...t-they…” Seeing as how explaining it would turn graphic, Shawn started staling. “Y-Ya know…”

The bright parts of Twig’s eyes went in different directions. “I do?”

Shawn faced forward, not wanting to do this, especially when other brothers were around. “I-I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

“Oh…” Twig looked down in sadness before looking back up in happiness. “Okay!”

One changeling asked the obvious. “Wait, so, what does their baby have to do with our plan anyway?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” The queen chuckled and stepped closer to the edge of the stage. “That child will have magic made from the element of love and from a pony that was so simple to control! You children know what must be done!” After several moments of blank stares, Chrysalis rolled her eyes and flew in the air. “We are going to capture the newborn princess!”

...

Silence filled the room, with the only sound coming from Chrysalis’s wings, since the changelings that were in the air earlier were on the floor. After what felt like hours, one changeling said something that all the other children were thinking. “Seriously?”

“Children,” Chrysalis continued, ignoring the stares of confusion from her children. “I know this plan will succeed, we’ve-”

“No, No…” Carson stepped forward. “No...y-you can’t be serious. That’s the plan?”

Chrysalis was confused by their reactions. “W-Well of course that’s our plan, come now, children, you must know that-”

“So...we just stroll in and take the kid from them?” Another asked.

Chrysalis shook her head. “No, it’s not as simple, for you see, we need to replace the child with a decoy.”

“So we’re giving them one of our own just so you can have the filly?”

Chrysalis nodded. “Sacrifices need to be made for this plan to work.”

“That’s what you said after the defeat of Canterlot!”

More changelings started talking, all of them about their disapproval for this plan. Chrysalis was very surprised to see this. “W-What’s wrong with you children? I thought you would like this, I mean, I’ve kept it a surprise for months and this is how you react?”

“You waited this long for a plan!?” One bug shouted.

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think you children understa-”

“NO!” Carson shouted. “I don’t think you understand. Look at us! We’re dying!” Carson pointed at a changeling whose arms were filled with bandages. “Marvin over there is losing his mind with every hole he gets in his hooves.”

“I-I know I can’t see them...b-but I can feeeeel them. T-They’re crawling all over me every minute!” Marvin then hugged himself and rocked back and forth, starting to hate the irony of having trypophobia. “T-the holes are out to get me…”

Carson ignored him and continued. “Is this really the best you can do? Ponynap another princess? Are you kidding us?”

Phil scratched his neck. “I hate to agree with Carson over here, but he has a point, how’s taking another pony away from them gonna help us, will the filly, like, make the couple vulnerable to us?”

“Will their minds be under your control?”

“Can the child feed us?”

“Is that purple pony gonna find out about this before you-”

“Shut up!” Chrysalis yelled. “J-Just shut up! T-This plan is good, t-this plan will work this time...I-I’ll be able to harness it’s power!”

“How do you even know you can ‘harness its power’”

“How do you even do it anyways?” Twig asked. “Do you...use your horn or...hold it over your head and say stuff or-”

Chrysalis looked back and forth, a little confused on the subject as well. “I-I’m sure it’s not too difficult...uh, besides, once I have the child. The ponies will-”

“Kill us!” Some changelings shouted. “I bet they’ll track down the filly, find us, and finally end our lives!”

“Not only that!” Another bug yelled. “But those ponies are probably more powerful than ever! Didn’t another scout a few months ago talk about some new alicorn showing up?”

“Wait…” Another looked at who was talking. “Wasn’t that the same pony that one upped that red and black dude?”

“If that pony can take out a thousand ton centaur, imagine what she can do to us!”

“She’ll probably blast us to pieces!”

“Banish us from the plain of existence!”

“Use her power to give us even more holes!”

“Use her friends so they can power us over with that magic friendship stuff!”

“NO THEY WON’T!” All changelings turned to Chrysalis, whose eye was starting to twitch after being reminded that the pony that had found out her identity was now an alicorn. “It’ll take a lot more than some purple alicorn and her five stupid friends to take us down.”

“Actually, queen…” Some changelings crossed their arms while others glared. “I’m pretty sure they can take us out, seeing as how our love rations have been at an all time low.”

Some bugs nodded. “Yeah, why didn’t you plan something like that early one?”

“Why did you wait for such a long time and not do anything to help us?”

“And why haven’t you even been outside our cave anyway?” A ling asked. “ Some of the scouts told us about some of their other villains coming back and trying to defeat them, a few of them even became their friends!”

“Hey, why don’t we do that? I’m sure if we just talked we can-”

“NO!” Chrysalis yelled again. “We’re sticking to this plan. Besides, we’ve tried talking, and look at where it’s gotten us!”

“Are you saying that’s the only cause for all of this?” One bug asked.

“Yes it…” Chrysalis paused. “Uh...I-I mean, it’s not the only reason…”

Some changelings looked at one another, all of them getting rather annoyed with this. “Chrysalis.” Shawn said. “I think the main reason why this has happened to us is obvious.” He flew in the air and pointed at her. “It’s your plans; every one of them, every time you make one, it’s failed, every attempt at getting more love than ever, it’s failed. No matter what we do, we...fail!” Shawn crossed his arms and landed on the floor. “I think I speak for all of us when we say we, not only hate this plan, but also don’t want to do it!”

Chrysalis’s eyes went wide once other children started nodding in agreement. “Y-You don’t want to-”

“NO!” The whole swarm yelled.

Chrysalis’s jaw dropped, unable to believe what she was seeing, all her children were against this plan, the only plan she had, the one she had in mind for so long, the last one she could think of after everything that’s happened. “I...I see…” She said, looking down. “I-I see how it is…” Chrysalis made an effort to stand straight, only to fail horribly and wobble as she took her first step off the stage. “W-Well...I know when my subjects don’t...want something...a-and I suppose I should listen...t-this time…”

“Yeah! You should listen to-OW!” Carson stopped talking once a hoof hit him in the back of his head. “What’d I do?”

Shawn leaned his head toward the now crying queen. “Take a guess…”

Some other changelings noticed it too, now realizing just what had went down. They said no to the last plan she had for saving them. Chrysalis hung her head while her subjects looked at one another. “I...If you want to listen to your queen again, she’ll be in her room...again…”

Once she left the room, the changelings were subjected to another round of silence. Carson broke it by saying, “Nice goin’ Shawn.”

“Oh, sure, blame me for saying what everyone else was thinking.” Shawn said sarcastically.

“Well, we gotta blame someling.” One bug pointed out. “Isn’t that what the queen usually does?”

“We’re not blaming anyling!” Shawn shouted. “We’re doing something about this, because now, our ruler is heartbroken at the fact that we just said no to a plan that was probably her last.”

“Oh, I know what we’ll do about this!” Carson flew in the air. “I say we go to war with them! If we’re going down, we might as well take them with us!”

The entire cave bursted out into a fit of laughter, making Carson glare at all of them, once it died down, Shawn flew up and said. “Okay, one: That idea’s already being done, and two: I don’t think any of us can fight right now.” Shawn turned to the other changelings. “Now, a better idea would be to...uh...to-”

“To what, Shawn?” Carson yelled, still flying. “We don’t really have much of a choice at this point, it’s either sitting in this cave and waiting to die, or going out and doing something about it!”

Shawns ear stems went in the air. “T-Then let’s do that!”

“Do what?” Carson said, crossing his arms.

“We go forward with the plan.” Before the entire cave could laugh, Shawn stepped on the stage. “Come on now, guys, we gotta make it up to her, m-maybe we really should try this, it might actually work too.”

“And get us killed?” One pointed out. “If we show our faces to them, they’ll just strike us down and stomp on us like the bugs we are!”

“And pony napping princesses is something that’s ruined our plan once before,” Another said.

“Then what else are we gonna do, huh? Just stay in this cave and wait for us to parish?” Shawn stood higher. “Unless all you bugs want to sit here and do nothing about our problems, then I say we go forward with the plan and help our hive!” He pointed to the exit, hoping others would fly out, but silence filled the room again, making Shawn sigh. “Oh, lets not all fly off at once now…”

Despite almost everyling wanting to stay, some thought about it, that it was either doing nothing to help their generation, or at least make one last attempt at saving it. “Eh...why not.” One got on the stage next to Shawn. “I guess s’better than staying here.”

“I gotta admit, the ling’s got a point.” Another stood on the stage.

“I don’t really wanna stay here anyway.”

“Got nothin’ better to do.”

Carson crossed his arms as more changelings joined the group. “And if we fail?”

Shawn shrugged. “If we fail, we fail. We don’t really have much to lose here, Carson.”

“Then why don’t we go full on attack?” Carson suggested again.

Twig jumped onstage in front of Carson. “Because fighting isn't right! Even though we did it that one time…”

“Despite this plan being cliche, we might as well give it a shot.” Shawn took a deep breath as some of them started flying out while others stayed behind, knowing that it was either this or staying in the cave to die. “I just hope I don’t run into that swarm murdering couple…” He mumbled.

“So, who’s gonna do the distracting?” One of them asked the group, which had a total of fifteen bugs.

“And who’s gonna take the kid?”

“And who’s gonna be our backup.”

“Everyling!” Shawn shouted, making all eyes turn to him. “J-Just...uh…” He bit his lip, still feeling like this was impossible. “Look, just...follow my lead and...w-we’ll sort it out as we go…”

Carson raised an eye. “That’s your plan?”

“It’s a work in progress, Carson. We can’t just sneak in, wait for the child to be born, swap her with one of our own, and walk out! It can’t be that easy” He paused. “R-Right?”

Twig scratched his head. “Well, if we did it once before, we can do it again!”

“Shouldn’t we tell the queen that we’re really going forward with her plan?” Stan suggested.

“I say we keep it secret until we get back!” Twig smiled. “It’ll be the best surprise!”

Shawn stepped off. “Well, if staying here means death, then let’s head out.” He made his way to the exit, other’s following his lead.

Carson stepped closer. “Are you sure you don’t wanna plan an attack?”

Shawn glared at him. “I’d rather go down in their history as stealth artists and not idiotic warriors. Besides, do you really wanna see our mother cry...I don’t think so.”

Comments

[kurusagi16]

I had a similar idea, you know, the kidnapping part, but hopefully it can still be interesting if you write it well.

[Iron Comet]

Dear lord...

[Cross Lament]

7011289 Maybe the foal in the show is Chrysalis...

[Hillbe]

Dear Shawn,
I'm gaining weight here with the ponies, heck even that little dragon is getting some action.
I bet if Twig was here he'd be a branch, Do Phil and Carson still cheat at cards?
Tell everyling I'm doing fine and come by sometime, only Sam came by at Cranky whoevers wedding
Boy did we wreck the buffet table ,,,well Pinkie's calling (the pink funny one with the portable cannon)
Well I got to go looks like another picknic don't want to miss out.
Doomie

P.S. Rumor has it that mom hatched some white lings with blue hair is that true?

[tsaukpaetra]

Haha I love it. "this plan is stupid, but we are stumped for anything else!"
So Chrissy's vocal chords are damaged.
Keep going! ;)

[Razzy]

Poor Chryssie, she just wants to make her children happy, but she's horrible at planning. Hopefully, so this can be resolved peacefully.

[CrackedInkWell]

By the power invested in me, myself, and I (since this story hasn't updated for six months), I declare this story to be dead.

May it forever rest in peace.

(P.S. Welcome to the Graveyard.)

[Blast]

7064472 She's gonna have to deal with an Even Bigger Bad and attempt a not too different offer with that Bad than Starlight Glimmer offered her.