So there I was in the forest, looking everywhere for love to eat. Then my eyes fell upon a cute little bug, maybe this little guy could help feed me.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 1st Jan, 2014
- offline last seen Jun 7th, 2021
Dr Atlas
"When I get old, I am going to be: Rice. Frisco style." - Ed 2004
Dr Atlas
Joined 1st Jan, 2014 ·
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You switch between the first and third person so much in this story, I wasn't able to finish it. That sad, it seemed interesting.
Correct that point, and I will gladly re-reed it!
Very funny, and I like the interesting thoughts. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Well, this story has potential, but it could really use some editing.
4273050 I apologise.
When I was first writing this story, it was in third person, but after writing more and more I realized that it would be better in first person. So I had to go back and fix it up to make it first person.
So, I'm sorry for messing up a bit in the story. I promise to fix it up a bit when I get the chance.
4273343
I'd also advise you break it up a bit. It's a bit 'wall of text'-like.
Interesting.
Now to cue in Dr. Evil.
"Somebuggy"
?
You've been reading my works, haven't you
lol XD
4273343 No problem. Just, can you tell me when you have corrected it?
4277032 oh....uh....well...I...um....
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/508/252/bf5.gif
maybe....
That cover art is freakin' adorable.
4278019
It's cool. Keep up the good work.
Aww this poor changeling is too cute
I want to huggle him.
...THE COVER ART LEADS BACK TO THE STORY!
The cover art is much higher in quality than the story, imo.
A bit too stream of consciousness here. It's okay, if pretty jumbled. If your changelings are genderless, as some are, then he really shouldn't be concerned much with that. Also, if it's a hive mind, then you need to explain a little bit more about why he's all alone on his own.
Why would the "bug", ostensibly a breezie I take it have "tears of joy"? That's ridiculous, and why is this changeling so much of an idiot to propose that he would actually eat him/her/it? Is he really so hungry that his mind isn't working right...
4282337
Not all stories are explained in the first chapter my friend. All will be explained soon.
And this stories is in his perspective, so he thinks the bug is crying tears of joy.
And no, he's not an idiot, he's just....uh....well....
I'll get back to you on that one.
Hmmm i have to read another chapter but i think the first one went good already, it is nice to read.
4283166
I'd think that the best way of putting it is 'scatterbrained'. He/she might be intelligent, but his/her thoughts are a bit disorganized. Kind of like an absent-minded professor.
This is probably the most socially inept changeling in all of existence.
How he managed to survive up 'til now is a mystery never to be solved...
Holy crap dude, you write just like me. I'm serious. I was genuinely freaked out as I read this. It reminded me so much of one of my stories.
g'night
I CAN'T- I- I
...
I'm just gonna go lie down
They should fuck.
Can't wait for more
4287949
i.imgur.com/Y5gpl.gif
...Well then. Sounds very....interesting.
Awwwwweee! So sweet!
yay I love it!
MORE!!!
CORRECTION! an ignorant stomach and an oblivious brain...
I love this fic. It's so funny.
I love it!
Plan to bring this changeling back in an other story?
This was sweet. and I would absolutely read a sequel
(Before finishing):
Everydoggie! lol!
Alright, well there a good few noticable mistakes...but I feel that some of them really feed into the personality of this character...
His display of semi-ignorace and lack of focus os cute... I can almost hear his voice, too! lol.
All in all, pretty good.... Now....just one chapter to go...
This was such a sweet story! Cute and totally funny! Awesome job!
4292693 My thoughts, exactly.
Yes, we really need to have our brain pulled out of the gutter it seems.
Keep going! ;)
Okay I'm not a fan of the breezies but I will say this, That was cute :)
Daaawww!
This is why I love changeling stories! 
aw, that was soooo cuuute.
too bad is over already
Well, that was weird. Wonder what happens next.
4293045 ...Isn't this in Equestria?
4349230
yup, I just think the Breezling-verse is adorable ^^
This is somehow so good, you could maybe do a little series with this, maybe everytime a litte adventure. This is really funny and i think if He transformed, maybe it make sense, that the other story is part romance.
Well you did a good job on this one, normaly i don´t like short storys like this but this one is really good
I read this story with a little kitten around my reck, so it made it EXTRA cute
Naww.
Awesome work on this.
Adorable and quite fun to read through, I have to say.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this guy's a moron. No wonder the other mare smacked him and ran. Unless he finds Berry Punch drunk off her plot I don't think he'd be getting any love in any form from ponies.