Fluttershy develops intimate feelings for Angel. Could this possibly get any weirder?
Yes it can.
Rated teen for some suggestive dialogue.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 14th Feb, 2015
- offline last seen February 12th
Dandereshy
I write sins, not tragedies. Patreon so I can continue doing... whatever it is I do.
Dandereshy
Joined 14th Feb, 2015 ·
Offline
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Okay first of all:
First.
Now to the actual comment:
Did this story's title have anything to do with Theory of a Deadman's song?
6936821
It's just a play on words, but it was a reference, yes.
woah
6936827 That's awesome
I thought it was amusing and gave me a chuckle at some parts. Thumbs up from me
6936844
Thanks.
Hm. I admit, I may have judged this one a little too harshly. I was prepared to instantaneously thumbs it down, but it took me a bit more deliberation to decide... I'm gonna thumbs it up. I think this could have been hilarious, or it could've been unreadable, and you didn't really hit either mark. In fact, if I didn't assume that it would be unreadable, I probably wouldn't thumbs it at all. But, for surprising me with a decent piece, have a like.
6939324
Thanks!
Hahaha! That was freaking hilarious! I can't believe how much I laughed at this X'D Good job, sir! This story exceeded my expectations!
This story cracks me up!
6942631
Thanks!
And thanks for the fave!
6943053
Thank you!
6943053 No prob. It was a funny piece that made me smile in another boring day of this boring hiatus. But I have a question: Why wasn't Starlight Glimmer in this story? I mean, since she's Twilight's student now, she would absolutely attend the Pinkie's party, or at least Fluttershy's wedding, don't you think?
6943278
Yeah, I decided to have this pre-Starlight, just because we don't know a lot about her real personality just yet.
6943296 Think about her like the other reformed villains, or imagine her as if she was an evil pre-FiM Twilight who got redeemed. I know, it sounds weird
But that's not something wrong with the story, I'm just saying this to help you if you decide to use Starlight.
6943329
Makes sense to me.
6943352 One more t thing, THIS STORY IS SO UNDERRATED! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE READERS?!
6943375
I've been wondering the exact same thing. I never could get feedback on my stories. Even with the ratings I have on this story, it should have been featured on the popular stories page, as I have better ratings than some of them.
Oh, well... people will love me someday...
6943380 Oh, I lost faith in the Feature Box a long time ago.
6943642
I'm getting to the point where I'm losing faith in this fandom...
6943647 The WHOLE fandom? Why?
6943678
Meh, I'm just picky. People here are being far more judgmental (and not nicely) than they were when the fandom was founded. I guess I'm just tired of all the negativity when there shouldn't be any?
6943694 Then just do what I do, remain a casual fan and stay towards the outside of the fandom looking a bit inward. Besides, the feature box will always be reserved for what the readers do want to see and not stories that tend towards more originally over what is currently trending like clop fics, Luna, shipping, etc... So, unless you are a very popular with a lot of viewers that can the story to the top, good luck getting anything to the feature box that hasn't already been written in some form or another.
6944174
*Sighs* Who knows what I'll do
. My artwork is better than my writing, so I might just stick with that. But then I might have the desire to be on EQD, and I seriously doubt that will ever happen, even with how good I've done lately.
6944379 EQD is even worse than the feature box here
Okay, this was weird but a bit funny as well.
7135290
Glad you enjoyed it!
Bet the knot would last longer if Angel was a dog. Eh? EH?
This story had absolutely no plot whatsoever, it was pure asinine stupidity for the sheer sake of ridiculousness. In other words...
I absolutely LOVED it!
7135850
I'm happy you liked it, and thanks for adding it to your bookshelf!
OK, everybody is being dicks so... It's decent, better than the crap i've read so far
7157181
Why, thank you!
The ending killed me.
7208110
I figured if there is marriage in Equestria, there must be divorce, too.
Thanks for the fave!
7208139 You're welcome! Oh Celestia that ending was a knee slapper.
7208391
I'm very glad you enjoyed it.
At the behest of author, I am reviewing this fic.
It is generally a well-written piece. The grammar does not suffer, unlike so many examples I've seen (and reviewed) around, and the style is half-decent. Occasional bad word choice ("engorging" on a punch? "She grinned down at him"?) notwithstanding.
The only downside to the style are unnecessary explanations and repetitions. E.g.
I understand the need for word-padding in a shortfic, but this is entirely too much time spent on punch drinking.
and similar hand-holding unnecessary tell-don't-show style repetitions of already shown things or expansions.
Trimming this fic and then expanding with a few better jokes would make it way better.
As to the substance of the fic, there isn't much to say. It is a decent topical humorous doodle, with a moderately funny punchline.
It could use a bit of a better delivery, so that the reveal would come off more unexpected and therefore be funnier, but other than that, it;s good enough for it's purpose, as prooved by ample and deserved likes.
7221546
Thank you very much.
Now I can make said improvements.
Heh. Rather amusing. The spoiled text at the end...perfect. Hard to get much sympathy for that little bunny, but you evoked it.
One spelling mistake I noticed was when you said Angel walked down the "isle." Homophones get us all at some point. I believe you're looking for "aisle," since "isle" is a small island (though I can see Angel mentally trudging alone and abandonned on a tiny deserted island
).
7230378
Good catch. I need an editor for that very reason.
That ending with Angel divorcing took the cake.
It was funny, especially how you made Angel dislike the whole thing.
couldn't angel have gotten an annulment instead?