Shining Armor takes a job as a caretaker at the royal sister's holiday house during winter, accompanied by his wife Cadance, his sister Twilight and his sister's assistant Spike. But the absence of his favorite things will send him insane and a particular family will tell him to do the unthinkable in order to get them. Meanwhile his own family, isolated by the snow and without communication form, will know this is going to be a long winter. Based on 'The Shining' and 'The Shinning.'
Warning: includes some mild language and gore
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That picture... Oh my me, I can't feel my sides...
Okay... Future tip - some of the best advice you can get - is to read your own story before you publish it. Maybe even 2-3 times and/or out loud. It will help you catch a lot of mistakes.
Mistakes and errors can be really distracting and take from your story, so it's good practice to get them corrected.
Also, I've said this before to someone else, if you're doing a parody, crossover, or your work parrallels like this story, don't be afraid to throw in your own jokes and twists. I thought this was the best joke.
I get that you liked the Shining and The Simpsons (and probably saw that before the Shining) and it is important to keep a story like this relevant to your source, you'll want to provide originalty where you can.
You have a lot of room for improvement, but don't sell yourself so short.
these would fit here
That picture reminds me of something...media3.giphy.com/media/l41YuwS5IipGquPmM/200_s.gif
HEEEEEEERES JOHNNY!!!
HA! Thank you so much for that Nostalgia Critic reference. Even 1-upped him by making it five hours instead of five minutes. My favorite part of that whole review.
https://www.tenor.co/wN7M.gif