- Member Since 21st Oct, 2013
- offline last seen Nov 19th, 2023
Thundereaper
I be readin'. I may be writing.
Thundereaper
Joined 21st Oct, 2013 ·
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Good job, broski! Spike stories are always awesome.
Pretty good story so far, but you may want to consider finding some cover art for it. Cover art is a great way to catch the attention of people as they scroll down a page quickly
Interesting. Will keep an eye on this!
Spike moved out and got a job in the time it took Twilight to get home? Was she away on business?
And... Spike seems to blame himself for not letting himself be educated? A bit twisted, there... But it's good he's taking the initiative to learn.
Poor Twilight... I dunno why Spike doesn't even let the letters come, though. Just er... not read or respond to them? I guess it might be pretty tough for him.
How the stories really picking up. Keep up the good work!
And great choice on the cover art!
Fuck the actually fuck!
Please continue!
OH, COME ON!
Please continue soon!
Well! That's... good and scary for Spike.
I wonder if that voice really is him, or some effect of the frightening thing that has him.
And, of course, Twilight is not going to be there when Spike gets there...
Damn you! MORE!
Now I can't wait until he tells then it was, Spike, and, Twilight beats his ass!
Still looking for that ass kicking, but I like the edit you did. Damn, Pinkie Pie!
Got to love, Luna!
Hah. So Pinkie's thing was her just being Pinkie, rather than a real misunderstanding on her part. Nice.
Inconsistent spelling. Honestly, I wouldn't have noticed, but they're practically right next to each other.
I'm interested in where this is heading. I'm actually surprised that Spike's gone back to Ponyville this early in the story.
You are doing a pissed off, Luna, justice.
And that part with, Pinkie, Spike and the girls was great.
Keep up the good work!
6849475 Thanks for that. I would have maybe noticed, eventually.
Probably not. I'll go get that fixed.
6826750 Well burping out letter at work would not be a good thing and could cost him his job. With the last one he was studying and didn't want to risk burning his book.
No you didn't. Still focused on, Spike, just give, Lemon, some back story. Good job.
Was wondering when we would get to this point.
This part is a little confusing. They were... taught a spell, and grilled in it's use... then told it would destroy everything and prove they couldn't be trusted with power? I'm not sure I follow the logic.
6857642 I kind of envision it as a 'What would they do as a last resort' kind of thing. If their answer is Mass Destruction, giving them fireworks may be a bad idea.
6859114
Oh! I get it. They were taught a spell and it was not identified, and told it was incredibly destructive and put in stressful situations to tempt them to do so.
The idea is solid, it was just a little confusing to interpret from the passages you wrote.
And here I thought, Spike, was a young stallion (maybe the size of the average mare) not a colt. Well that sucks.
Hah. Just throw out all the possibilities right there, huh?
I think I like that. It's not like I wasn't thinking "Spike could be transformed for a terrible reason'...
Spike has the worst luck doesn't he?
damn... well, at least he won't be a dog this time... right?
Right?
6873626 if that happens im going to be pissed
I don't know why any of this is happening!
I must know!
Well, I can't say I predicted this direction from the story's beginnings, but this is looking like it's going to live up to the title of the story. I remain interested.
Uh... what exactly is going on in the first scene with the italicized text? Is this the future? Someone's inner monologue? The past?
Damn. Twilight is breeding out, and, Spike, is a human.
Spike, from dragon, to pony, to human! Identity Crisis, indeed!
6877054 Flashback to Equestria girls as far as i can tell.
At the risk of being cliche, the plot thickens!
Also, props for bringing that up the Inspiration Manifestation out of nowhere without it feeling tacked on. I'm still not sure what the puzzle will end up being, but I feel like this piece fits.
Seriously, that's hard to pull off. Well done.
Huh. You think Spike might need glasses from what you've seen in the show?
6887453 Something I'd seen in a few episodes left me scratching my head. For being a dedicated scribe, he's had trouble pronouncing words in a few episodes and squinting at scrolls. Also you may recall the tunnel vision scenes in his flashback during Secret of My Excess. Wavy and blurring of lines.
Do I think it was just a flashback scene effect and the writers making a peon of Spike? Absolutely. Still, I think I can make something of it.
6887571
... I like it.
Not that I think he should need glasses, but I like that you've taken something in the show and genuinely built on it, and have the examples to back it up.
Another good chapter and does give license to the fact that luna might not know much about them, but thinkin back on the previous chapter, I'm wonderin where he's gonna be staying
/agree
There's definitely something going on but... I'm not 100% sure what is the lies that are being told.
... Okay, maybe I have an inkling.
I'm preeety looking forward to Spike realizing/remembering that he has some friends on this side of the portal. I presume he's going to run into Sunset Shimmer and the gang, anyway.
Funny how that's all stuff he never could've known since he's from another universe. Except for English... unless it was heavy on questions about knowledge on literature.
Otherwise I'm not quite sure why Spike wouldn't know grammar or why his handwriting was so bad unless human fingers are significantly different from his claws... Or if Twilight let him have bad handwriting the whole time.
Also... why is Celestia the one that's giving up?
... Also, is this before Friendship Games? It seems like it is...
6899590 I'm uncertain as to how education is handled in countries outside of the United States, but what we have here is contradictory on a good day. Legislature passed over the course of the last two presidents put the blame for failing students squarely on the shoulders of the school they go to and, should enough students have failing grades on standardized tests, the schools are punished through various means such as having their funding revoked.
A student who will, at first glance, do nothing but fail is an unnecessary gamble. As an educator, Celestia's attitude is admittedly terrible. As an administrator, her decisions are instead sensible. Not good, but sensible.
6900288
Mm. I understand now, yes.
So, is this taking place before or after the events of Friendship Games?
Well... that sucks. Just not making, Spike's, life easy, are you?
... Sure. You say this after it's confirmed as to what time Spike is in.
Actually, saying that this makes a few more of those italicized flashbacks when Spike was pulled into the portal make sense.
... Why does dog-Garble, as Sci-Twi's pet, make me more uncomfortable than real crazy Garble?
Probably because I suspect it will still hate Spike, still try to hurt him... but Twilight will defend Garble after that. Because he's just being overprotective.
I'm hopin' for a better ending than that for Spike and Garble.
6905367 Garble being Sci-Twi's dog was completely out of left field for me while I was writing this chapter, however. It involved completely derailing at least one would-be plot so I could write something completely different.
Several somethings, actually.
I like to keep my audience asking questions, all three of you.
My very first reaction to this question was to say "Time time time force, Power Rangers Time Force". This is what you do to me.
Anyway, Garble, huh? Once again, I'm surprised and intrigued. Is this the same universe as EG? Or is it possible that this is a parallel timeline to that parallel dimension? Actually, that sounds overly-convoluted now that I say it out loud.
Hm... So Spike found he can't go back so easily already...
... If the timestream is the way I think it is, though, then it is bizarre that Spike cannot get back through, as the mirror hadn't been broken yet.
How many different terrible things have possibly befell Spike?
He was maybe-eaten-maybe-not by a horrible fleshy monstrosity. He had the Inspiration Manifestation inside of him. Now he's banished by Starswirl's mirror, which might have changed the past (if it wasn't a consequence of the other two things). Neither magic appears to be effecting him, but the IM is explicitly subtle psychologically... but it has no way to come out anymore, so it might not have any effect anymore...
This passage from quote to quote is really confusing:
Basically every line you have one person talking and the other reacting. It's... really confusing.
Or... are they doing it? The more I read the more I realize they're both saying that human's are gross, so I had assumed that Twilight was lecturing Spike but... hm. I am still having a hard time telling. That last line, for example, has both Twilight and Spike in it, so it's unclear who's speaking just on the lines.
Yyyyeah. His hyper eagerness to please would be more obvious when he's not a significant class of age younger and a different species that people might just be more comfortable thinking of as a pet, rather than a threat.
I'd be interested in seeing this, rather than just being told it, though.
6914057 Yeah, I can see that. I'll put up an edited, clearer version tomorrow while I'm working on the next chapter.