Not the End
Twilight and her friends were making a mad dash for the hive as the changeling and pony forces began fighting. The princesses were giving commands as well as firing magical bolts into the changeling forces.
As the group of six galloped toward their target Twilight moved to the head of the charge and gave instructions. “Ok get in a loose formation. I want to see some space between us so we don’t draw any attention. One pony isn’t a threat, six ponies is a juicy opportunity.”
With confirming nods from her friends Twilight focused on the hive as well as the massive force between her and it.
All around were the sounds of fighting. The pegasus forces clashed midair with the airborne drones. Hooves impacted violently on the changelings and were met with equal force as bladed forelegs sliced or dented armor.
On the ground the unicorn forces fired volleys of magical beams at the changeling forces. It was doing the job but faced with the legion that was the changeling defensive force it wasn’t going to make the fight easy.
Twilight and Rarity were making their was to the hive by constantly blasting at the changelings that tried to block them. Focusing only on moving forward they pair made good headway as they continued to virtually carve a line to the hive.
Applejack and Pinkie were off to the sides of Twilight and Rarity. The earth ponies were keeping any ground changelings from flanking the unicorns as the group continued to the hive.
Meanwhile Fluttershy and Rainbow were above their friends and kept the arial changelings from doing any damage.
The six worked as a unit and were able to make it to the hive without any major trouble.
Once inside Twilight began assigning tasks to her friends. “Pinkie you’re with me. We’re going to see if we can find where the captured ponies are being held.”
Pinkie saluted. “Roger wilco.”
“Applejack and Fluttershy, you’ll cause some trouble and be a distraction so the rest of us can move a bit easier in here.”
Applejack and Fluttershy nodded before heading down a corridor to start stirring up whatever guards were in the hive.
“Rainbow and Rarity will look for Lightning and give her whatever help you can.”
Rainbow Dash nodded and Rarity sighed. “I’m more of a lover then a fighter but if I must, I must.”
The unicorn and pegasus left while Twilight turned to Pinkie. “Let’s hurry. We don’t know how long some of the hostages have been fed on.”
With that the earth pony and unicorn turned to a hallway and began their search.
===========================================================
Lightning rose a bladed foreleg to deflect a strike aimed at her throat. She was fighting with everything she had as Chrysalis came at her but it wasn’t easy going.
The queen was no slouch when is came to single combat and Lightning would bet that Chrysalis could go blow for blow with even the best fighters in the hive.
Both combatants had traded several heavy hits already and were sporting cuts as well as some good sized bruises. The only difference was that no matter how Lightning tried she couldn’t get the upper hoof on the queen. To Lightning it almost seemed the Chrysalis wasn’t even winded despite the furious pace of the fight.
Lightning swung her left blade at Chrysalis while aiming for a low stab with her right. Chrysalis deflected both attacks then began thrusting her blades in rapid succession towards Lightnings torso.
Lightning moved back and quickly moved left to flank the queen. She jumped and lashed out with a kick aimed at Chrysalis’s head but the queen ducked and swung upwards at Lightning.
Lightning used her wings to move back but was lightly cut while retreating. Changing her blades to thick clubs Lightning flew forward and rammed Chrysalis in the chest. When the queen staggered Lightning went for an uppercut but Chrysalis feinted to the right and slashed at Lightnings exposed side.
Lightning couldn’t dodge such a close attack so she used her green flame to toughen her body. The flame was mainly used to protect changelings when they dove at the ground and Lightning hoped it would make her hide tough enough to take a blade hit.
As the blade raked across Lightnings side she felt the pain of it cutting into her and grit her teeth. She quickly put some distance between herself and Chrysalis to check the wound.
Lightning was relieved when she saw that the cut wasn’t too deep to keep her from fighting but it would be a problem if the fight went on for long. With more of a reason to win and get out of the hive Lightning leapt back into action.
The two traded blows until Lightning swung both bladed forelegs at Chrysalis. The queen caught Lightnings blades on her own and pushed forward. The motion caused lightning to stumble backward. Chrysalis kicked at Lightnings injured side and the force of the strike mixed with the pain of her side caused Lightning to fall to the ground.
Chrysalis shot forward and thrust her blade at Lightning. Lightning couldn’t dodge and the flame trick wouldn’t work with how close Chrysalis was. Lightning knew she was finished.
Just as Chrysalis was about to burry her blade in Lightnings throat she suddenly halted her attack and jumped to the side. Lightning was confused until she saw another blade slash the air where Chrysalis had been a second ago.
Turning to her rescuer Lightning’s eyes widened in surprise. “Shiv?”
Lightning couldn’t understand why her old commander was in the hive. She’d assumed the she’d never see Shiv again but there she was. Saving her.
“Shiv why’d you...”
Shiv shook her head and lifted Lighting to her feet before motioning to Chrysalis. “Later. We need to take care of her first.”
Lightning nodded and turned her attention the the queen.
Chrysalis scowled at the two in front of her and muttered angrily. “Another traitor. I’ll crush you as well then.”
Chrysalis charged and the fighting picked up again but this time Lightning had help.
===========================================================
Twilight and Pinkie ran down halls and stairs and after coming to a few dead ends they’d finally found the massive cocoon storage chamber.
Twilight was amazed at the sheer number of ponies that had been captured. Wanting to get one of her biggest worries out of the way the unicorn scanned the cocoons with her magic to see how the ponies inside were fairing.
When her magic went over the last cocoon Twilight sighed in relief. The captured ponies appeared fatigued but weren’t in any real danger.
“Good it seems like the changelings haven’t been feeding on them. They should be alright when we get them out of here. Pinkie guard the door.”
Pinkie nodded and went to stand by the chambers entrance. Meanwhile Twilights horn began to glow as she readied a telepathy spell and searched for her friends throughout the hive.
Once connected to her friends Twilight spoke fast. “Girls I think somethings happening in the hive. Pinkie and I found the hostages so we need to teleport out of here.”
Rainbow dash spoke up, her voice filled with confusion. “Twilight? Why're you in my head?"
Twilight responded quickly. "Telepathy spell."
Rainbow was still a bit confused but had other things on her mind so she decided to roll with Twilights voice in her head.
"Anyway we still haven’t found Lightning and there’s a problem up here.”
Rarity chimed in after the pegasus. “It looks like part of the hive caved in. We can’t go any further.”
Twilight shook her head as she felt another tremor go through the hive. This one more powerful then the last. “We don’t have time to look for her now. This place feels like it’s going to cave in. Lightning can take care of herself.”
Fluttershy broke into the mental conversation. “But what about Scootaloo?”
Twilight heaved a heavy sigh. She was worried about Lightning and Scootaloo as well but the cocooned ponies were a bigger problem. “Like I said Lightning can take care of it. We need to trust her.”
Twilight sensed that her friends were uneasy about this decision but they knew that the helpless hostages were the main goal here.
Charging her horn Twilight expanded her mental reach till she locked on to Celestias consciousness. “Princess We’ve found the hostages and need a mass teleportation out of here.”
Twilight felt her mentors magical energy flowing through the telepathic link and in a flash Twilight was outside the hive staring at her friends and the cocoons that held the captive ponies.
“Well done Twilight.”
Twilight turned her head and saw that Celestia was standing with a pleased if worried look on her face.
“Thank you princess but what’s wrong?”
Celextia sighed and pointed a hoof towards the hive.
Twilight turned to look at the changeling home and her eyes widened. The entire changeling force had stopped moving and were being rounded up by the unicorn guard troops.
Twilight turned to Celestia. “What happened? Did Chrysalis surrender?”
Celestia shook her head but before she could respond Luna landed beside her. “Sister the last of the changelings have been secured, what now?”
Celestia turned to Luna. “Wait for now. We need to see if Chrysalis will make an appearance.”
With a nod Luna flew off to instruct the guards while Celestia turned her attention back to Twilight. “I don’t know why but the entire changeling swarm just stopped fighting. They seem to be suffering from the effects you told me about when a changeling is cut from the hive mind but so far none are exhibiting any pain. They appear to be confused and not sure what to do.”
Applejack brightened up at this. “That means we won right?”
Celestia sighed wearily. “I’m not sure. As I said Chrysalis is nowhere to be found.”
The group was silent for a moment before Pinkie piped up. “Hey where’s Lightning? If the fighting stopped shouldn’t she be out here?”
Celestia turned her attention back to the group. “I’ve not seen Lightning since she went into the hive. I don’t know where she is.”
Rainbow shot into the air. “Then she could still be in there! she might need our help!”
Twilight caught the pegasus in her magical grip before Rainbow could fly back to the hive. “Rainbow the hive is unstable. I don’t know what’s going on but...”
The unicorn went silent as another tremor rocked the ground and part of the hive crumbled to the ground.
Celestia noticed that this only strengthened the determination in Dashs eyes to go find her friend but stopped her. “Twilight is right Rainbow Dash. It’s too dangerous.”
Rainbow grunted in frustration. “Then what are we supposed to do?”
The princess turned her gaze back to the hive as a little more of it broke away. “Wait, and hope that Lightning makes it out. That’s all we can do.”
With heavy hearts and troubled minds the group waited and prayed that their friend was alright.
===========================================================
After Shiv had arrived the fight got a bit harder for Chrysalis but the queen still seemed to have the upper hoof.
While dodging a heavy hammer swing Shiv came up beside Lightning and spoke quickly.
“It doesn’t look like me being here is enough. I think I should take lead and you follow up my attack.”
Lightning nodded. “Just like old times then. Lead on commander.”
Shiv didn’t waste any time once Lightning agreed to her plan. She leapt up and aimed a kick at the queens head. At the same time Lightning struck low and fast, trying to take out Chrysalis’ legs.
Chrysalis wasn’t fast enough to dodge both attacks and when Lightning put the queen off balance the fight shifted.
The pair of changelings worked in sync with each other to strike quick and fast once they got an opening. And at last it looked like Chrysalis was taking some real damage.
On the sidelines Scootaloo watched the fighting. Hopeful that Lightning and Shiv would win and they could all leave in one piece.
Lightning moved herself under Chrysalis and drove a clawed fist into the queens gut hard enough to knock the air from her. Not missing a beat Shiv aimed a blade strike that would finish the fight when suddenly Chrysalis spun around and under the strike.
Taking her only chance the queen lashed out and seized both changelings by the throat in clawed hands.
Chrysalis chuckled darkly. “Very admirable but this is over.”
The captured pair struggled for breath as the queens grip tightened.
Lightnings vision blurred. No. It can’t end this way.
Lightning worked her mind into overtime and did the only thing she could think of. Forming a blade she stabbed Chrysalis’ arm.
The hit was weak but it shocked the queen enough for her grip to loosen. Lightning wrenched herself free and swung her blade at the queen.
Chrysalis tried to dodge but Shve had gotten free and held onto the queens arm, locking Chrysalis in place. With no way to avoid it Lightnings attack hit home. Cleaving off Chrysalis’ horn.
As the queens horn fell to the ground Chrysalis screamed in pain. The magic inside her surged through the absent focus point and rebounded throughout the room.
The magic impacted the hive and caused tremors to shake the structure. When it ended Lightning turned to the queen who was laying prone on the floor.
“We win.”
With that statement Lightning turned to where Scootaloo had placed herself, away from the action, and lifted the filly onto her back. “Ok kiddo time to go. Shiv you coming?”
Shiv opened her mouth to answer but was cut off as a violent tremor nearly knocked her off her feet.
When the shaking subdued Shiv spoke anxiously. “I think that magical discharge was to much for the hive, we need to get out quick!”
With a nod Lightning began flying down the collapsing corridors of the hive. Shiv sticking right on her tail.
Lightning flew as fast as she could while avoiding heavy rocks the seemed to be coming down like rain. But try as she might it looked like every exit was blocked.
Lightning continued flying while shouting a question to Shiv. “Does the hive have a central air shaft?”
Shiv rose a brow. “Yeah but it’s segmented to let air in but keep out everything else. We can’t go through it.”
Lightning smiled. “Not with that attitude. Here take Scootaloo.”
Shiv pulled up beside Lightning and the filly jumped onto her back. When Scootaloo was safely on Shivs back Lightning sped up and changed directions. Heading for what she hoped was the way leading to the central shaft.
When the three reached the central shaft Lightning took point and began flying as hard as she could upwards. It was tough going but even with all the falling debris the light from the openings of the shaft came into view.
Shiv kept following and as they got closer to the small openings she realized what Lightnings plan was.
“Are you insane! You can’t crash through the celling!”
Lightning laughed and enveloped herself in green fire.
===========================================================
Fluttershy was helping tend to some of the injuries suffered on both sides of the fighting when the largest tremor she’d felt so far came from the hive.
The pegasus turned to the hive to watch it fully collapse but at the same time a green light sparked from the top of the crumbling fortress.
Fluttershy had an idea of what that flame was and quickly took flight, heading straight for the fading green flare.
The other elements of harmony noticed Fluttershys speedy take off and turned their attention to where the pegasus was headed.
Rainbow dash caught a glimpse of a faint green light in the air above the demolished hive and rushed after Fluttershy.
When Rainbow caught up with Fluttershy she asked what they both were thinking.
“You think that could be lightning?”
Fluttershy glanced at Dash before focusing again on where the green light had come from. “I hope so.”
When the pegasus pair got close enough they noticed another changeling holding up a barely conscious Lightning.
Rainbow flew over and took Lightning in her forelegs. “Thanks for... Wait a second. Shiv?”
Shiv smiled. “Glad you remembered.”
Rainbows jaw dropped while Fluttershy flew up beside her. “You helped Lightning?”
Before Shiv could say anything Scootaloo spoke up from where she held on to Shivs back. “Yeah and they were awesome when they fought off Chrysalis!”
Lightning chuckled tiredly. “I guess that was pretty cool but hows about we get on the ground? I could really use a breather after crashing through rock twice in one day.”
The group laughed a bit before descending toward the ground where the others waited.
===========================================================
Hours later after everyone had been bandaged up and given a chance to rest Celestia questioned Lightning on one last important matter.
“Lightning what do you think should be done with the other changelings?”
Lightning rose a brow. “Why do I decide what happens?”
Celestia placed a hoof on the changelings shoulder. “Well from what I gather, after you broke Chrysalis’ horn it freed the changelings of her hive mind control. They could do whatever they want but since you were a free changeling before all this and were the one to give them their freedom you should decide.”
Lightning thought for a few moments before getting up. "I know what to tell them."
Celestia nodded. "They're gathered at the back of the camp."
Lightning turned to Shiv. "Keep an eye on Scootaloo ok."
Receiving a nod from Shiv Lightning slowly followed Celestia to where her kin were milling about.
Once the pair reached the changelings Celestia spoke to the swarm. "Changelings, the one who defeated your Queen stands before you. I have left it to her to decide your fate. Please listen to what she has to say."
Celestia moved aside and Lightning Stepped forward. There was murmuring throughout the changeling ranks but they seemed mostly focused on Lightning. Waiting for her to speak.
Lightning took a deep breath to calm her nerves before she began. "Changelings. Chrysalis has been dethroned by me and my allies. This should mark me as a traitor but what reason was I given, were any of us given to be loyal to our Queen? A Queen who so easily would throw us away if she thought us weak."
The swarm grew quiet as Lightning continued. She had captured their full attention with that last remark.
"I won't claim to know how we are supposed to live but having been cut from the hive I believe I know a better way for all of us. We don't need to be parasites. We don't need to hurt others just so we can live."
Lightning stepped closer to the mass of her kin. "I've found friends and even a family with these ponies. If I can do this so can you. We can all live with them and take what is given instead of stealing what others posses."
From the group one male drone came forward. "How can this work? I don't understand."
Other statements of the same opinion were thrown at Lightning asking how could any of what she said could work.
Lightning waited for the group to quiet before continuing. "I can't tell you how to make it work. I can only tell you that if you truly want to you can make your own happiness. You can live for yourself and not hurt anyone but you need to find out how on your own."
The group remained quiet, thinking over the proposition. Lightning knew that it would be hard but was confident her kin would see she was right.
Lightning turned to Celestia. "Give them some time. They'll come around." Lightning yawned and smiled. "Now if you'll excuse me I've had a really long day.
Celestia nodded with a smile of her own. "Of course. Go get some rest, you've certainly earned it."
With that Lightning trotted back to her tent where she saw Scootaloo and Shiv asleep. She chuckled lightly as she moved to lay beside the two. Once Lightning settled in it took only a minute or two before she succumbed to sleep.
===========================================================
Lightning woke with a start as she heard a noise. She looked around and saw the silhouette of someone outside the tent. She looked to her side and noticed Shiv was gone.
Lightning yawned and got up carefully so she didn’t wake Scootaloo and went after Shiv.
Exiting the tent Lightning saw that night had fallen. Luckily the moon was waxing and gave off enough light to see Shiv seated on the ground a few feet from the tent. Lightning walked up behind Shiv who was staring up at the moon.
Shiv stayed silent even as Lightning sat beside her. The silence went on until Lightning decided to be the first to talk. “So, What’ll you do now.”
Shiv kept her eyes on the moon and sighed. “I don’t know. Until recently I’ve only lived for the hive.”
Lightning shook her head. “But now you can do anything you want. Isn’t there anything else on your mind?”
Shiv glanced at Lightning before focusing on the moon again. “There is but it doesn’t make sense.”
Lightning tilted her head. “What d’you mean?”
Shiv turned her head to look Lightning in the eye. “It’s you.”
Lightnings brows shot up in surprise. “Me?”
Shiv nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know why but ever since you helped me get through being cut from the hive I’ve thought of you a lot.”
Shiv turned her head and stared down at her holed hooves. “I even came all the way here to help you and I just... don’t know why.”
Lightning watched as Shiv tried to work out what was going on in her head. Lightning thought she knew what it was but needed to get more out of Shiv before she was sure.
“Shiv, why’d you offer me that way out of being killed when you attacked Ponyville.”
Shiv gave Lightning an odd look. “Well I... wanted you I suppose.”
Lightning nodded. “Ok. Is that the reason why you helped me then?”
Shiv shook her head. “No, well yes and no. It’s almost the same but when I came to help you it felt...different.”
Lightning smiled. “Like you didn’t want me to get hurt. You wanted to protect me.”
Shiv nodded. “Yes. LIke that. What’s that mean?”
Lightnings smile widened and she leaned toward Shiv.
Shiv was about to question what Lightning was doing but was stunned when Lightning pressed her lips to Shivs in a firm but chaste kiss.
Shiv went stiff at first but soon relaxed into the kiss as the faint traces of affection were fed to her by Lightning. Shiv felt the fluttering emotions that were directed at her and was amazed to find that it was nearly the same as when she’d fed on the same emotions before. But these positive, wonderful feelings were meant for her and not stolen from someone else.
Lightning eased back and looked into Shivs eyes. “What it means is you feel something for me.”
Shiv stammered for a moment before asking the biggest question on her mind. “So does that kiss mean.... you feel something for me?”
Lightning sighed. “I feel something but it’s not strong yet.”
Shivs ears lowered. “Oh.”
Lightning scooted closer and gently nuzzled Shivs cheek. “But the feeling is there and if you want we can see if it’ll grow stronger.”
Shiv smiled. “I think I’d like that.”
Before anything else could be said a yawn came from behind the pair. They turned to find a sleepy Scootaloo walking toward them. When the filly reached the pair she sat right in the middle of Lightning and Shiv.
“Why’re you guys out here?”
Lightning chuckled. “Oh just talking about something. Speaking of that, Scoots would you like to have another parent?”
Scootaloo tilted her head. “Who?”
Lightning nodded toward Shiv. “Her.”
Scootaloo turned her head to face Shiv. “You want to be part of the family?”
Shiv shifted nervously. “Well I don’t exactly know about family but I feel something for Lightning and if you don’t have a problem with it I’d like to be with her.”
Scootaloo sat still for a while before she spoke. “You know, when Lightning offered to be my mom I jumped at the chance for a family. I’d always wanted to be part of a family and my friends were ok but it wasn’t the same.”
The filly turned her head to look at Lightning. “I call you mom all the time and even if we’re not really a family yet I do that because I want it to be true.”
Lightnings eyes widened in surprise as Scootaloo continued. Turning back to face Shiv while pointing at Lightning. “If she’s ok with you I’ll be ok with it but will you be ok with having me too? We're kinda a package deal.”
Shiv looked from the filly to Lightning and back to the filly. “I’m not really sure of what to do but if you’ll both give me a chance I’m willing to learn how to be in a real family.”
Scootaloo smiled. “Then we’ve got a deal.”
Ligtning chuckled. “Well now that that’s settled let’s get back to sleep.”
With nods the other two followed Lightning back to the tent. When the morning came everyone boarded a train at Appaloosa and headed home.
As Lightning sat in her seat and watched Scootaloo interact with Shiv she smiled.
Time for the three of us to start living. As a family.
===========================================================
Not the end.
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Daaaaaaaaaw
'Their' needs to be 'there'. Darn homophones!
In any case, a nice sappy ending. I certainly needed one.
Yay update!
nice.
There's a sequel?
Aww, it's over?! But... But!... We want more Scootaloo Goodness!
gameinformer.com/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer-Components-PostAttachments/00-01-20-88-66/crying_5F00_scootaloo_5F00_by_5F00_creshosk_2D00_d486rn7.gif_2D00_500x400.png
Awesome story it to bad to see it end.
874665
Yep I just gotta work out how I want it to go. What I'm gonna do is.... well you'll see.
874715
Should I mention I'm working out a plan for a sequel? Cuz I am.
874755 oh and graz on geting featured
874619
Thanks for the word catch there.
874764
How does that happen anyway? I've always wondered why something like my fic got featured. Does it get voted up there?
874779 look at the FAQ under stories
874755 Oh... Well... Umm...
ponypaint.net/images/scootagrin.png
A couple things that bothered me:
1. Chrysalis is much larger than a regular changeling. Before Shiv showed up, she should have had a significant advantage over Lightning.
2. Speaking of Shiv, the little dab of romance at the end seemed forced and out of place. Given the way the story had gone beforehand, it just felt off compared to the rest of the story.
But all complaints aside, this has been a nice story. Well done.
Someone else mentioned it but,
Scootaloo has two mommies now! 
She's the happiest little former-orphan ever. And it concludes, in some sense, on a wonderfully happy note, with kisses, the Changeling equivalent of a marriage proposal and a new Equestria with Changelings that can finally be in love with ponies if they so choose. 
Shiv nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know why you’re why but ever since you helped me get through being cut from the hive I’ve thought of you a lot.” I'm not even sure what you were attempting here lol.
Loved that ending and will be eagerly looking for more... dang it, it's about damn time Scoots had a family.
875016 but remember, it was all from the ponies' and Lightning's PoV, this does NOT show the view of Shiv or the other Changelings and besides... they DID have a little... relationship... while they were in the hive...
And I agree with you on the whole size issue, but you don't have to be tall, muscled, smart, or cool to be badass, so Lightning being able to hold her own against Chrysalis isn't as farfetched as you think it is
(pay no attention to the above, they are merely my view on your two problems)
875122 Well Shiv could be the dad if she took the form of a colt/stallion.874755 Yay sequel can't wait.
Great to see you plan to make sequel :)
874755
yay!
875675
But, Shiv is a girl. She makes no bones about her gender and the homosexual nature of her relationship with Lightning. And since both are national heroes there's no need for disguises. So she would be Mommy #2 by default.
875365
Being badass does not a fighter make. Also, Chrysalis is Queen for a reason. Given the hive society the changelings live in, it makes sense that she is the strongest and smartest among them, as well as the most talented magically. I'm not saying it isn't possible that a couple talented changelings could hold their own, and maybe even catch her off guard and win. But to say that one changeling could survive for long in a fight against Chrysalis? That I don't buy. But as I said, it didn't bother me so much that I didn't enjoy the story.
As for the romance part, I'm well aware that a lot of things were left unsaid in that regard. That doesn't stop what was said from seeming forced. Again, as with the fight issue, it didn't bother me enough to ruin my enjoyment of the story. Just a couple small things that, for me, made the story good rather than great.
877296 but you forget, Lightning is Scoots' adopted mom and you know what they say about moms and when their kids are in danger. Also, I disagree with your first sentence, just look at Tex, she's more than a "bit of a badass" and took out too many soldiers to count. But then again, she WAS trained, but so is Lightning and I think this whole debate is pointless
875016
Size does not equal advantage. Case in point Edward Elric.
Shiv and Lightning were involved before this, if only physically, and when shiv was freed of the hive control she began to focus more on Lightning. It's not so much romance as it is a start to a possible romance.
875205
That was my brain having a derp moment when writing this. I have way to many of those moments.
877566 lol, don't we all?
It's fine, I just figured I'd point it out for you, it had me stuck for a few minutes trying to figure it out before I gave up and read on.
877296
I see what you mean. There is one more factor in a fight though. Luck. I know that in a straight up one on one fight Chrysalis would win hands down but with the added element of Shiv and a lucky moment or two the balance tipped if only slightly. On a different note. I like little debates like this. It means people are actually interested enough in my fic to care about these details, so thanks.
877578
Thanks again for pointing it out. It should be fixed now.
I await the sequel-ness with extreme glee!
I'm sad that it's over (...or is it?) but at least it had an epic - and happy - ending. Better than some fics that drag on forever and eventually become abandoned.
886538
Never fear of my stuff being abandoned. When the idea fairy pays me a visit she pummels me with a baseball bat. It may stop and start for a bit but I always get 'er done once I start.
894168
You're the first one to get that reference.
As I was reading this story: weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/boy-that-escalated-quickly.jpg
There were grammatical errors scattered all throughout the story, so get yourself a pre-reader or three for the sequel, alright? XD And maybe slow things down a bit next time! Aside from that, not bad! *Waits for the sequel*
Dawww =)
901829 XD No worries.
That romance seemed a bit out of nowhere, but that doesn't mean I'm averse to it.
Although Scoots has her work cut out for her if she's gonna live with TWO changelings. So many shenanigans can ensue when you can pretend to be the other parent.
Also, I'm a bit unclear on this, is Chrysalis dead or just no longer horny?
909603
Oh but where's the fun in telling you? You'll have to wait for the sequel.
I'm evil.
I want to make this explicit in case it wasn't clear enough in my other comments. This was the sweetest changeling story I've ever read
913187
Thanks.
1000167
I did some editing, thanks to a pre reader, so they should be fixed now.
1006054
Hey
Hey buddy
You're a complete freakin' idiot!
1000880
Good to know. This story has potential, but I do feel that the plot was rushed [quite a bit] in the beginning...
1029572
Me neither but it made me smile cuz of the randomness. Easily one of my favorite comments now.
1239021
Just "ctrl + f" to find them.
Chapter 10
fainted: feinted is the correct term for faking your directon
caused lightning: could be lightning: Capitalize the L
won't clame: claim
1254919
If I do, I apologize. Truth be told, I'm used to giving feedback on gdocs, where comments can be addressed directly from the author. As you may have guessed' I'm quite terrible at giving quick-and-dirty reviews. I recognize that I need to do better, and if I came across as condescending I did not mean to.
Again, please accept my apologies for any offense my comments caused--I assure you, it was not my intent.
1257032
I took it as an assessment more then anything.
1259755
Hopefully not of me. While I like to offer my input where I can, I'd rather not be seen as a MintyRest-esque critic. Clearly, I need to re-think a few things; I'm a bit too used to casual jabs from working with my regulars on gdocs, and in retrospect I need to tone things down a bit for less informal reviews.