paintballfox
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so they don't relies that he was saying no and running away or the fact they forever change his live, dedunk it as he's in pain and dusint understand
good job princesses good job I hope you tell it that to his face you ignorant dastard
god I hat people like this "we know what is best and never wrong" god someone kill them
but awesame story dude keep it up so here is my rating 
6618811 Thanks so much. It will reappear as to why that spell was used down the road. But for now it seams odd yes.
should have maybe done it another way perhaps~ ¬¬
so straight from you are going to regret this, to, i'm in your dept please forgive me. that's kind of annoying and did he even ask for them to turn him back? because i didn't see that.
there is so much you could do with this but its seems like hes just going to stick to the mane six like glue maybe with some fannon characters but that's it, nothing new or very interesting.
6724714
Ok first with the hate to forgiveness. I understand what you are saying and I now realize I should have wrote that differently. The original point is for him to be faking it but holding a grudge. She commands that guard and so far they mop the floor with him so he cant do a thing to her. I can see what mistakes I made there.
Second, the point was for the main 6 to help him out but he brakes away from them and starts to do his own thing. tho this sorry is meant to go on for some time so sadly I don't know when he gets away from them at the moment. The episodes he would run into will kinda be a few but I again see what you are getting at.
Over all? ya I suck and the sorry line is not too solid at the moment. but thank you for pointing this out. Down vote if you think that's right.
6725244 i don't down vote anything unless i cant see any potential in it, as i said it has potential but there is just nothing i like about it.
No dream crushing? Aww.
Anyway the scene wherein blank is pissed is entertaining, anger is such a fun emotion to watch.
So it turns out you're making blank more pony with a 'mark' I have to say I'd very much enjoy finding out that it a shotgun fireing rounds into celestia's skull, I imagein that would bring her great discomfort.
7319514 We will see how it turns out hmm? And thanks, comments like this spur me on to keep going. Will try to shorten the time to the next one.
7319537 time holds no meaning to me, only the quantity of words and their quality.
That being said I had forgotten about this, t'was quite the surprise update.
Yes nurse redheart does just slime everywhere, and on everything. Quite the slimer she is.
So blank is still glued to the main ponies and their little town? Ok, I guess I called it then.
7584874
Ok fixed the slime leak. thanks for that.
Yes he is still stuck to them for now. Tell me, If tossed into a new world how fast could you just fined a job and start a life? After the opener is where he will start to get out. Sorry if I confused you about that. Should I change the tag? ¬¬
7586961 the tags are fine, if he does actually go on an adventure eventually.
But so far the story seems to be setting up for blank to be stuck in this town defending all the ponies, rather than the revenge tale that was setup earlier.
Which to be fair doesn't seem to be completely abandoned, with the Luna thing that currently going down.
And to answer your first question... fast, fast as I possibly could. If I'm not useful to someone in a medievalish world then I'm dead. So any job is preferable to that, from digging graves to building houses. Its a 'you need to be helping or else' sort of thing.
Also definitely not anywhere that I knew was going to be destroy on the regular.
This is actually quite a good story.
7598515
Thanks! Its all I got and I'm just doing this for fun, So good words help drive me to make more chapters.
Alternate realities, huh?
cdn.meme.am/instances/61318126.jpg
ok. i seriously cant wait to see what happens next. discord is about to be freed. a pony who was human, has a gun, and discord. This is going to be so interesting to read. please keep it up and continue to make more chapters. :D
Huh... im liking this fic so far ^-^
Nice little bit of common sense with a gun and... you dodo bird, you dont poke the interdimensional portal with a shotgun
For me, games, reading and writing shile for my roommates it appears to be television
Sounds a hell of a lot like my job XD
This is a great story! If you are still in need of an editor, contact me!
i.ytimg.com/vi/ybVoRfWtEqI/maxresdefault.jpg
7600723
I will take darn near any approval about my story given by darn near any one! THANKS!
7601192
Well considering the sudden influx of activity, I think I will be tossing a chapter at ya soon too see how you handle it and the turn around. I will get a hold of you latter with more lintel and such. I look forward to working with you, till then, thank you very much for the offer.
I think this is an interesting story so far, as the guy seem to be interesting as he definitely has some anger management issues, and seem to have legitimate reason to hate Celestia for turning him into a pony and tamper with his mind. I wander if he will notice the effects of the reform spell in his behavior, or that might still be slowly creeping up in his mind over time. I wander if he will find the time to morn his old life, is family and friend, after he has some down time for himself. I actually like the way you present Twilight in your story, especially the part that she is genuinely trying to become the guy's friend in such a heartwarming manner. I think the sort shipping with Rarity is nice, but I feel that Rarities behavior seems a little air headed, for who I normally see her as the smart ans sophisticated mare that she is. I think the gun theme of the main character is interesting along with his decision to protect the mane 6, but I think it will be a one note theme with him unless he managed to built his own weapons industries or have other group of interest wanting to learn what he know about guns and try to force him to make weapons for them or make him one of their goons. I like that Luna is staking his dream for the secret of gun smithing, and I wander what more will come of it. The mean problem that I see in the story is that the quality of the writing seems to getting worst with the last two chapters. I think that the first three chapters where actually good.
I am pretty sure Twilight is not a princess at this point.
This is very promising. But you need to proof read a little more. The most common typo seems to be Princes instead of Princess. I also like how Celestia has yet to admit that she was wrong to force herself on him and mind control that is just evil. Hell if she isn't careful Discord will team up with the protagonist.
7604293
fixed, thank you for that. And yes. my grammar is not that good, hence my need for an editor or per-reader.
7603567
Thank you for all of that, and I see all your points. Part of the Rarity problem is that some of the main 6 I know I may have problems writing for. My original editor was to help with that but things did not work out sadly. As for the quality? well I think I know why it has dropped and its a matter of how much time was put into the chapter. I will work to try and fix this but no promises. As for his gun? spoilers~
woo mass response!
7600933
I'm thrilled to hear some one say that! I will try not to disappoint. But I cannot see the target so I must shoot blind!
You my good sir need an editor
7606166
is that an offer? or just stating a fact?
Please, for the love of Cipher, get an editor.
7632231
Yes this has already been established. I thank you for helping to drive home the point and I'm going to try a few possibilitys. Until then if one would love to just edit what I have written already then be my guest. Until then nothing will change. I am sorry for that inconvenience. This is a progressive change and not retroactive, unless some one wants all that work.
Interesting. Self awareness of cliche? Could get old if over used. But all in all, I'm hooked
Capitalize "twilight"
Also it's 'which', not 'witch'
Still, I like it!
This started so strong but then it started going down hill.
Between the inconsistencies in punctuation and sentence structure that pull the reader out if the narrative to the confusing reactions of the characters. Many of them run the extreme of emotions.
I still think this story is good in premise, but it's delivery seems to fade every chapter in.
Polish this up, please.
7646596
Thank you so much for being more constructively criticizing then bashing. I'm becoming more aware that the quality is dropping and I'm working to fix that as best I can. As for the grammar and such? I will be looking into editors more then before and hoping it works out. I will take into consideration what you and others have pointed out and I do hope I can fix them and grow. I just hope things can be fixed.
I look forward to yours and others criticism in the newest chapter.
An interesting take. My biggest suggestion would be to give each speaker their own paragraph. It was looking a bit messy in there.
7725900
Ya I was realizing that in the beginning and have been trying to work on doing that more. Thanks for the heads up. I always pay mind to outside views.
Why is it that when I find a good fic its ether Not Finished, far too short, not updated regularly, or straight up dead?
7819681
My apologies about that. Currently I have one chapter that I need to reread and mess with a bit before I can have a rough check done. My friend that is doing the more in depth editing and such has given me two previous chapters to update. That is just the current standing.
As for why it is taking me so long? I had intended on the main to slip along side the cannon episodes but work between the cuts, this is proving a tad hard. So after this mess with Discord the main can brake off and go into chapters I have been wanting to get on paper so to speak. I can't say I can kick out chapters at a constant pace, but lets try for not getting asked if I'm dead. So lets see if I can kick out a chapter by the 3rd hmm?
7820090 I don't mean any disrespect, but most of the stories I enjoy trading tent to end far to early or have dead do to the writer's loss of interest in continue the story/left the site completely. I'm sure all of us Reading would prefer quality over quantity, take you time to make the chapters you can, and we'll all be ever so great full.(non of the emotte look great full yo me)
7820418
No IL will was perceived and I understand. But its nice to get a kick in the butt to keep moving.
7821501 *comes back, sees no update after x amount of time
*reads author's comment, pulls back foot.
7952488
And there we are.
OK so I'm sorry but I'm not sitting around for my editor any more. its just too much. So weather ya like it or not... spelling errors galore!!!
But hay, its another chapter. -_-;
7954359 I don't have an editor either, but at the least you should remember to do one last pass in the Text box for any red underlines. That can really cut them down.
Nice an update.
you forgot the I in either, unless he be talking about chemistry then you have the right ether.
7979284
Thanks for that. got them all fixed.
Making the world a better place, one line at a time.
7979648
And how! Fixed, thank you for your continued patronage.
Well, you have certainly improved a lot in your writing this time around, as it get more consistent as the writing progresses on your own compared to your earlier chapters. the beginning was this confusing and honestly I find that he was getting a lot of unnecessary attention from the ladies, not bad as such just that I find it could have been dealt with better. I thing the chapter could have been cut into two with more expansion on the aftermath of the Discord's crises. the character are getting more natural, but there is is still a lot of work to do on that. I am looking forward to the next chapter. Good luck on that.
8158829
Thank you so much, and I will consider this when I start work on the next chapter. I will see if I can explain things more in the next go around too. I had said this before (kinda) but I want to keep him away from the main six in a way but its taken a bit longer then I had planned. Still need him to run into a few more and deal with repercussions of past actions before he sees much less of them.
I wonder if Celestia's rune patch is what it appears to be.
8159525
next chapter~