Well, you have certainly improved a lot in your writing this time around, as it get more consistent as the writing progresses on your own compared to your earlier chapters. the beginning was this confusing and honestly I find that he was getting a lot of unnecessary attention from the ladies, not bad as such just that I find it could have been dealt with better. I thing the chapter could have been cut into two with more expansion on the aftermath of the Discord's crises. the character are getting more natural, but there is is still a lot of work to do on that. I am looking forward to the next chapter. Good luck on that.

8158829

Thank you so much, and I will consider this when I start work on the next chapter. I will see if I can explain things more in the next go around too. I had said this before (kinda) but I want to keep him away from the main six in a way but its taken a bit longer then I had planned. Still need him to run into a few more and deal with repercussions of past actions before he sees much less of them.

I wonder if Celestia's rune patch is what it appears to be.

8159525
next chapter~

“You need to go home Twilight. There is nothing more you can do as you are now.” Stealing my heart I turn away and start to walk.

How... vain. is volleyball here into Katoptronophilia as well?

and stealing his own heart is an odd way of putting it, it's almost like is should have been a two e's rather than an e and an a.

you know it, steel. that hard alloy that's all the rage. actually i'm going to go steal myself some steel right now, as it turn out it's pretty useful.

8160833
Fixed!

And I will have to say I had to look up Katoptronophilia! And now I'm more confused? how dose this fetish apply to Volley? I don't think I have said a thing about mirrors this entire story! (ok maybe chap 1) I don't see how this is vain but I would not be too surprised.

Thanks as always for pointing out a fix.

8160914 the quickest way to explain the joke is that he literally fell in love with himself. and, well... with the exception of magic water clones Katoptronophilia is the closet thing to maximum self love.

8160985
Still no clue but Ok, I will try to keep Volley from falling in love with himself I guess.

8169385
Ok now you are sounding like my editor. It's not my strong point and its slow, but it was bound too happen?
still think I use commas too much.

Finally got around to reading 7 and I have just one major gripe. The self-loathing "ima hoo-man and we're bad" thing. I'm not a fan of that in any story. I know there are a ton of people who legitimately hate their own race but I always feel angry when I read about them. The only thing that rubs me worse is the suicide to Equestria stories.

8232469
I see and understand what you are getting at, and as this is still "early" in the story that is intended to change a little. I can't say by how much but the information of his gun is always a secret. Just how this story will roll. little spoiler, there will be a change of his outlook at a point, but that will take a trip to the pub to start him on that path.

Not sure about that suicide to Equestria , not sure that's planned here.

Holy shit these are some shitty night guards god damn.