• Member Since 28th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 26th, 2019

Drax


T

Past down through the history of Equestria there is the story of the legendary Twilight Sparkle, and another, and another, and another, and another. So many that we've lost count. But Celestia hasn't, how could she have?

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 22 )

An interesting start, looking forward to more.

very interesting so far

i really hope this doesnt end up being an odd story

6447660 Explain?:rainbowhuh:

6447673 ODD Overly Dark and Daunting its my way of saying i like it so far and hope it doesnt grow too dark for my tastes

6447903 Eh...I make no promises. Dark is one of the tags, and I have very little intention of putting in a lot of my usual humor here, but I don't think it'll be too bad.

Could be interesting! Leaves questions burning at the back of my mind. Great job!!! ^^

Trying to hook people on shock value? Meh.

Give people something to chew on, tell us what this story is about.

6450318 You've got to get people hooked somehow .But just be patient you'll get your meat soon. Today even, if all goes well.

Well I hope for more of this!

Very interesting intro. Wonder how you will develop this, good work. :twilightsmile:

6450606 sorry for bugging you but do you know when you might be updating???

6543463 With any luck, within a day or two. There have been some complications.

6544575 okay good to know thank you for letting me know

Huh, an interesting and unexpected start. Twi sure is grumpy. :rainbowlaugh:

so little twilight is normal or what :applejackconfused:

I hope we're going to get some kind of explanation as to why Celestia has become a spiteful psychopath who's only goal is apparently to torture each reincarnation of Twilight while spitting on everything she stood for...

6680817 Yes, but its gonna be awhile for the full explanation. For now you'll get snipets and Twilight's. Plenty of Twilight's.:twilightsmile:

Please get an editor/proofreader, I really like this story.

Celestia's clearly taken on more than her fair share of insanity. So she's blamed Ponyville for the 1st death of Twilight, and has been driving it to ruin in response... depending on your approach to how alicorn madness/Nightmares work, she could be dangerously close to the edge of transforming.

What do Luna and Cadance think of Celestia now, and of what she's doing? I suppose it's possible that Celestia convinced Luna, but I don't think she'd be able to keep Cadance from trying to retrieve Twilight, at the very least.

Slightly, irked Apple Bloom pushed opened the huge golden doors, to reveal nothing but an empty room, no Twilight, no elegant tapestries, not even a candle light to chase away some of the shadows that were just now receding from the light streaming in through one of the windows hanging to her left. The lack of decorations and basic furniture didn’t surprise her though, all of Ponyville had watched their new queen stretch her powers by emptying the entire contents of her home, floating them up and out of town.

What? Why'd she get rid of them? Her castle was mostly decorated by her friends, not Celestia... or did some of them leave? If she needs an assistant, where's Spike?


Twilight might have had more success pre-Apple Bloom if she had pointed out that she was head of state, and her money largely came from taxation. If Applejack props up the economy (emphasize Applejack's civic duty to her fellow pony here), she's basically indirectly feeding money into Twilight (who in turn would put most of it back into Ponyvillequestria, but over the course of just a few years her collective personal and spending money should more than exceed a million bits).
In terms of more direct logic, however, once they made that level of improvements and extra hires for the farm, they'd increase their profit margin. Putting money into a business (intelligently) makes that business earn even more money. Twilight would be paid back in less than a decade.

6750391 Explanations shall come, explanations shall come.
6750391 Alright, in order. i tweaked the story a bit so that Celstia helped Twilight renovate the castle. Spikes gone (will explain later. and Applejack refusing to take it is more a matter of pride rather than lack of faith in paying Twilight back or in that her plan might work. But at the same time there's a very good chance it might not. She has in all intents in purposes, broken her own country off from Equestria, and without a major amount of support and interest, it can be pretty damn rough for a country just starting up, especially a small one bordered by very large neighbors. Mostly because, businesses and other countries aren't exactly sure how they'll fair economically or even if they'll last. So right about now Ponyville is not doing very well by any means (Probably could have stressed that more). The only reason Sweet Apple Acres is still kicking is because like I said, they've managed to deeply ingrain themselves in Equestria. Though many might see them as traitors to an extant, they'll still buy their product because they like the it. So even though Twilight is throwing a lot of money at the problem, it still is kind of a gamble.
Satisfied?:raritywink:

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