[Contains foul-mouthed pets in a pub atmosphere]
It's hard work being a pet, especially as trying to communicate with their pony owners can be so tiresome. Once a week, they gather to for a pint and a chat at the local pub.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 15th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen Saturday
IndiBrony
We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, ey?
IndiBrony
Joined 15th Oct, 2014 ·
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Atleast it's not a clop-fic...
There's already a story title name for this http://www.fimfiction.net/story/69226/pet-peeves
6397979 I didn't notice until I saw it appear up on the side in the 'Similar' stories. That one seems more interesting and better written than this, too. Hah.
Oh, but thanks for adding this to your favourites!
6397968 Sounds like you didn't enjoy the story.
Care to critique? I'm always looking to improve my writing style and story structure. I'm quite happy to listen to criticism of my work, no matter how harsh.
""Eat a dick, you scruffy little ruffian." Opal retorted. I really did laugh out loud! Here;\'s your prize
6398405 Dude you got to make more chapters of this, the story is great. I'm just wondering why if the pets could talk, why didn't they to their owners. Especially (the ironically name) angel bunny, he should have went off on fluttershy by now.
6538022 Well, my idea behind it was inspired by a mixture of Toy Story - where the toys talk when the humans aren't around - and the idea for the banter came from, well, straight out of life, I guess. Nothing more enjoyable than having a group of mates you can chill with and talk shit over a pint.
Not to mention Fluttershy can talk to animals. It's already canon that she can hear this kind of stuff (I refer to 'Keep Calm and Flutter On'), and we've seen animals 'communicate' between each other, so it's not far of a stretch to make them speak English for the sake of the story.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, though.
Have you checked out my other stuff? None of it is like this, unfortunately, but there may be some other stories in there you enjoy - check out the 'featured' stuff on my page. They're all short stories, and 'Spike: The Dragon Princess' is reaching a rather fiery conclusion!
I hope you get a chance to enjoy some of my other work, and maybe stick around and see what else I come up with in the future? I've got a boat-load of ideas waiting in the background just waiting to be written.
This is....
I don't know.
+1
Hi! I know you've seen what I wrote about this elsewhere, so I won't repeat the whole review. I will just mention that my favourite part of this was Gummy, though -- the contrast between the other pets' more standard "drunk talk" and Gummy's philosophising was a lot of fun. I actually have another of your fics on my Read it Later list, though it will be a while before I get to it. You have some nice ideas, though -- imagination always helps for a writer!
6707729 Thanks for the input.
As I mentioned, I don't have much experience - I'm very green at this - but understanding what makes me writing bad leads me ever closer to making my writing good.
The 'said-isms' are rampant through every single story because it's something I got into my head that every single line has to come with an explanation of who said it and how it was said, which, as I'm learning, as actually the opposite of what I should be doing. My dialogue should be clear and concise enough that the tone of the conversation should be implied through its words alone.
Slightly more complicated in conversations with multiple characters, but yeah, I much prefer constructive criticism, hints, and tips over someone who simply says it's good or it's bad.
6707948 You're welcome, again. I know what you mean about your last line: when I get an upvote or a downvote but no comment on a story, I always wonder what it was that my reader liked/disliked. It's so much more helpful when they say, even if it's critical.
Well, you can take "show, don't tell" too far IMO (though not everyone agrees with me!) but yes, if you can have a dialogue where it's obvious who's speaking just from the direct speech, that's likely to be a good thing. It's actually quite a fun writing exercise: write a short scene which consists only of dialogue -- no speech tags or descriptions at all. For extra credit, use more than two characters.